• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

It's been a rollercoaster week



Well-known member
Aug 7, 2009
I'm just hear for a bit of a vent and a moan today.

Last week I had my proper psychiatric assessment and the doc confirmed bipolar 2. I've had my anti-depressants increased as they were clearly only really taking the edge off, and have now started on sodium valproate too. It's only been a few days and apart from a bit of dizziness I don't seem to be experiencing any serious side effects so I'm hoping it'll remain that way. I'm a bit concerned about weight gain; I'm already overweight and have piled on pounds since being made redundant a few months back so I know I'm going to have to keep an eye on that. Has anyone else had weight gain from this particular med? Just wondered if it's sudden or a creeping, gradual gain ...

I feel quite relieved to have had a diagnosis although as my depression is quite severe at the moment I'm trying very hard to fight the abundance of negative thoughts that keep popping into my head. I miss the old me, it seems such a long time now since I've laughed and felt happy or excited about anything that it almost seems impossible I'll ever feel that way again. I also realise a lot of my self-esteem was tied up in being good at my job and having that particular rug pulled from under me has been very hard. I've had a couple of interviews recently but nerves and a lack of confidence always get the better of me and I also can't shake a belief that people can somehow tell I'm on medication, that maybe I seem a bit of a zombie and lacking in personality.

Added to all of that I've been trying to restablish a friendship that fell apart a couple of months ago and that has gone absolutely disastrously. My former friend emailed me last week (in response to me telling him my diagnosis, for some reason I thought he would want to know?!!) telling me that I am self-centred, delusional, childish and self-pitying amongst other things. I'd agree with him about all of those things, for me they kinda go hand-in-hand with being severely depressed and are the things I hate most about being ill right now. But to top it all he also called me an obsessional stalker and told me I'm harassing him. Again, I kinda agree but I am so ashamed and sad that I've made anyone, particularly someone I care about so much, think that way about me. I know it's totally beyond repair now and I have to respect his privacy and decision to move on in life without me. I'm just appalled at my own behaviour really.

Right now, I so badly want my life to get back to normal, to be the fun person all my friends used to like, to have a job that I'm good at, and just feel alive again rather than empty and useless. I hope this medication works and I hope it doesn't take months and months. I'm just so sad and tired wondering if I will ever have a good life again.

Hmmm, this all does sound very self-pitying I realise. Yet another thing I hate about being depressed is my complete inability to communicate in an inteliigent and articulate fashion, just angsty drivel. :(


Well-known member
Sep 13, 2009
I have been taking sodium valproate and olanzapine at the same time for over a year now and experienced some serious weight gain (about 18 lb in a matter of months). I'm not exactly sure which of them caused it, although olanzapine is probably worse than sodium valproate in that regard. In relation to other side effects, I tend to tolerate it quite well, I only had a bit of diarrhea when I first started taking it. You have to take periodic blood tests to see make sure the levels of valproate stay within the therapeutic levels and that's hopefully it.
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
S How helpful has this site been for you? I Bipolar Forum 48
B What has been your experience on Pristiq/Desvenlafaxine? Bipolar Forum 9
F Anyone been triggered by a repetitive monotonous melody? Any insights? Bipolar Forum 5
Blue85 Have you been on antidepressants without a mood stabaliser? Bipolar Forum 1
E What’s the most random/strange advice, cures or coping strategies you have been given Bipolar Forum 17
M Been a while...starting to feel ill again :( CBD oil??? Bipolar Forum 13
Jess96 It’s been a while Bipolar Forum 4
G Its been a rough winter. How has yours been? Bipolar Forum 36
W Friend just been diagnosed with BPD - some advice Bipolar Forum 4
B Has my dad been abusing me? Abuse trigger warning Bipolar Forum 6
megirl Its been a while Bipolar Forum 4
J I have bipolar and have been denied disability benefits and I am extremely depressed and feel hopeless and I am suicidal Bipolar Forum 2
Zardos Its Been A Bad Week Bipolar Forum 5
6 Haven't been around much Bipolar Forum 1
Zardos Haven't Been Taking My Meds Bipolar Forum 5
Zardos Where I Have Been... Bipolar Forum 2
katya This week's been really hard Bipolar Forum 9
E Have you ever been broken up with due to your bipolar disorder? Bipolar Forum 11
Not_Crazy_Yet I've been cycling emotions today Bipolar Forum 17
T It's been a while...... Bipolar Forum 5
A Has anyone been on Vraylar? Bipolar Forum 6
valleygirl I think I might have been hypomanic Bipolar Forum 2
K 24 female w/ bipolar disorder, possibly depression & anxiety, been on Lamictal 200mg for a year, got Zoloft 25mg added today Bipolar Forum 2
M iv not been online in 3 years not sure who will remember me Bipolar Forum 6
R new to this.. just been diagnosed with bipolar Bipolar Forum 7
megirl Hi!! its been a while Bipolar Forum 2
M Worst drug you've ever been on? Bipolar Forum 12
A hi, i have been diagnosed wit bipolar, my father and grand father were also highly lkey to have suffered from the same. Bipolar Forum 7
M I've been cured of Bipolar. Bipolar Forum 14
P Quetiapine withdrawal, anyone been through it? Bipolar Forum 39
T AWOL - Been in hospital again. Bipolar Forum 15
Reach It's been a hard day Bipolar Forum 22
N It's been a hard week Bipolar Forum 2
I I've been diagnosed with mixed affective state, Is this on the more serious end of bipolar? Bipolar Forum 5
mrlaurel Sexual encounters that have been a mistake ? Bipolar Forum 16
Jelly been too depressed to post Bipolar Forum 8
mrlaurel Have I been here too long ??????????????? Bipolar Forum 15
cpuusage Sinead O’Connor Announces: “I’m Not Bipolar . . . I Should Never Have Been Medicated” Bipolar Forum 33
megirl Been a while Bipolar Forum 7
C Been in hospital 2 weeks Bipolar Forum 7
H Can they inform my childrens school when I have been assessed as not being a risk ? Bipolar Forum 6
B It's been a long time :/ Bipolar Forum 4
B can't shake this crazy mood - its been weeks now!!! Bipolar Forum 5
Mandy2608 not been around much Bipolar Forum 7
bobshocker kind of sorry, it's been weird, but i still dont wanna live anymore. im crying now. Bipolar Forum 25
C I've been bad Bipolar Forum 4
P Has it always been this way, or am I just now starting to realize it? Bipolar Forum 1
loulabelle Ive been reckless and impulsive :-( Bipolar Forum 200
H Has anyone been diagnosed with BPD and bipolar?? Bipolar Forum 5
K I've been told I might have bipolar... Bipolar Forum 7

Similar threads