- Jan 1, 2014
A long lonely one again. I got out this morning, had a coffee and muffin, spent time amongst people. All the time i was out i was aware that i'd be going home again soon and had several hours ahead of me to fill, but with nothing much to fill them. Daytime TV has got me through again, and it is now half past four so the evening is coming and people will be in the house again. Last night was pretty miserable as i went to be at 8.30pm because i was bored and fed up. I've cried a couple of times today, talking out loud that i am scared of life and having to work in the future. I am scared of everything at the moment and feel this anxiety much of the time. I'm crying now, always close to tears about my situation and cannot talk about it because when i do i just cry. I just spoke to my mum and was close to tears talking about today and how hard it has been. We are in the middle of winter and this has never been a good time of year for me, but i don't feel that i am in an episode as the medication is holding me up, but i am probably suffering with situational depression if there is such a thing. No medication could help my situation right now.