- Aug 12, 2020
it's not like me to speak to people about this stuff, i'm not that sort of person, thank goodness this is all anonymous. had a dreadful couple, no, fair few years in my 'old' life. in a bad marriage with autistic children, to be brief, things came to a head and I was no longer in that relationship or my own house. ended up in an HMO trying to keep the normal stuff, like work going. divorce proceedings started, and the lies got me down, still do. that process is ongoing, but light at the end of the tunnel. the good bits of my 'old' life were good - nice house, family holidays, time with the kids - I really miss the good bits. I wouldn't/couldn't go back, things have turned very sour, and I detest my ex. also, I met someone new, who is a wonderful lady who accepts all my baggage - the bad days when I don't feel like speaking to anyone etc. i'm off the anti depressants now, don't like taking them, sure - they stop you crying for no reason, but they also stop me laughing so much I nearly wet myself too! they do what they're supposed to, take the spikes off your emotions I suppose. but at the moment, i'm just really fed up, pissed off, not happy. I enjoy my work a bit I suppose, but I can't really be bothered with my hobbies, much of it still being at my old house, I drink too much, smoke again - which is better than doing class A drugs! i'm 56 years of age! they're not 'black' days again yet, just dark grey - what's going on? what will help?