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It's all too much

L

lonelyandlost

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2009
Messages
233
Location
Bradford
I don't know what to do at the moment...

I just want to curl up in a little ball and sleep forever. I have tried and am tired of trying now. I cried so much yesterday and my face is so swollen now, my eyes sting so much.

I fail in everything I do and try to do..my key worker says ring her when I feel down, but what is the point? I hate all this.
I have counselling once a month or month and half as she is too busy to fit me in any more so i don't feel any benefit from it, but if I quite my key worker won't be impressed but he never is any way as she doesn't really like me because I am too negative for her.
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi lonelyandlost

I'm so sorry you are feeling so low. Can you not ask your counsellor to refer you to another counsellor if you feel you are not getting any benefit from a monthly appointment with them? If I only had a monthly appointment i'm not sure i would derive much benefit from it.

In the meantime is there a little project you can easily do? Like choosing some flowers and planting a hanging basket, or cooking a complex recipe for someone, or a nice cake, or buying a card craft kit and making some nice cards for your friends. I know when you are low, they seem to be the last thing you want to do, but they can serve as a good distraction and help you feel a sense of achievement with the finished product.
I am sure you do not fail in everything you do, but it can feel like that when you are low. You are trying to deal with life with some added problems, so please don't be hard on yourself or have really high expectations of yourself at the moment. Some days I just see, getting up and dressed as an achievement! :)
 
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shelly

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 20, 2009
Messages
112
Location
Lincolnshire
Thinking of u

poor you I have felt like that too. Things will get better. I kept a diary when I was very depressed putting simple things in it like getting dressed, eating a meal anything you have done. You shouldn't beat yourself up I know its hard but you will get through this.
Maybe just give yourself one simple task each day something you feel you can manage. Take Care and let me know how it goes x
 
L

lonelyandlost

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2009
Messages
233
Location
Bradford
Thank you both
I did sit down and try to some of my craft work but couldn't concentrate, I made the kid their tea and that has been it. I just want to go for a long walk and not come back.
The neighbours seem to know what my kids need more than I do and seem to do things with them outside more than I do, they are always coming in saying (A) give me this and I am doing this....... I told kids not to bother (A) so she could hear but all she said was that they was ok, she alway undermine me, she said 'I have just given them something to do'
I am o useles as a parent :(
 
G

grace68

Well-known member
Joined
May 12, 2009
Messages
599
Location
yorkshire
:hug: LL :hug:
it's just awful to love your kids so much, and to want desperately to be the best parent for them, and then to feel you are failing them.
i know, cos i feel that way too.
but i am sure that our kids don't see it that way.
yes, your neighbour might play more with them just now, and it makes you feel bad. but the bottom line is you are still their mum, and always will be.
my kids would often rather be with their friends than with me.
but at the end of the day, i am still their mum, and they love me unconditionally as their mum. the same way that we love them unconditionally.
you may not be up to much at the moment. you're really struggling. but you are NOT useless as a parent. just under par just now. but that makes you no less valuable in your childrens' eyes. you won't always feel this bad, but i really hope you can find someone to talk to who builds you up and helps you to feel better about yourself :grouphug:
 
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