• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

its a good day...

W

whyamihere

Member
Joined
Apr 7, 2009
Messages
19
wow, i feel so much better today. like a flick of a switch i feel like my bf's depression no longer has control over me. i hope this lasts, as i feel like myself again - happy.

he and i hardly see each other, and this time it was a two week stretch. wed nights are my nights without my kids - as they go to dad's. anyway, i was about to get my pj's on and thought to myself, why am i not with my bf right now. then i said, because i'll see him tomorrow. well, i couldn't wait for tomorrow, so i hopped in my car to go and see him, and so glad i did. our hugs, kisses and cuddling felt warmer than ever. we were recently in a huge fight, so seeing him last night, and just being with him felt so good.

i know its a long road ahead of us, but i feel like i understand his depression more, and no longer look at it as "killing us". rather, i'm going to try and be there - more than i have been. my challenge is going to be understanding his addiction, as that has been hard. i plan to meet with he and his therapist, as i've been invited. he's past the point of lying to me - i think, and hope, so that's a start.

i'm ready to focus on myself again, and my kids. most of my attention, at time all, has been on him. i have my own life, and i'm happy. for a while i feel like i stopped living, as his depression has brought me that low. i have interests that i've put on the back burner, but no longer. just recently he said to me that he's thinking of going out of town for a weekend with friend this summer. for the first time, i didn't feel like i needed to cling onto him, and protect him from something going wrong. he's a big boy and can make his own choices. it reminds me that i need to start hanging out with my friends again too, as i put them on the back burner as well. one of my friends just sent me an e-mail regarding a great deal for vegas, and i think i'm going to go. never before would i do that, as i was afraid he'd cheat on me, or at least get more numbers from the bar, and secretly talk to chics he met at the bar - behind my back. wow, that was hard to get over... and the secret myspace usage, talking to ex-girlfriends. wow, glad that's all over.

i try not to worry anymore, what for? if its meant to be it will be. sure, i don't want to be cheated on or lied to, or strung along, but hopefully he's grown enough from his past that he won't do that to me again. i do feel that he is trying to make our relationship work and he's apologized for all the crap he put me through, so why would he do it again, right?

anyway, i feel really good today. the pounds i've gained due to stress are slowly diminishing. i feel healthy again, and full of life - as it was sucked out of me this past couple of years. its refreshing to finally be me again. :clap:

if anyone else would care to share their stories of dating an addict, please feel free to write me. support has never been better, its essential to us.:grouphug:
 
A

anastasia

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 26, 2009
Messages
90
i'm so glad that today's been a better day for you and that things are looking much brighter. :grouphug::clap:
 
W

whyamihere

Member
Joined
Apr 7, 2009
Messages
19
thanks ana...

i am super glad too... its been a long time coming for me to feel this good. how are you?
 
Top