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It's 3am here.I'm feeling so lonely...

  • Thread starter Misssunshine76 wasBreathingcorpse76
  • Start date
M

Misssunshine76 wasBreathingcorpse76

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No one ever loved me( my parents hate me and they were and still are soooooo abusive toward me ).
Every one I know at least experience some kind of love at some juncture in their lives except me.
I don't have much of feelings towards anyone though. They teach me to be like this. Heartless, cold and weak.
 
K

Keesha

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Come on breathingcorpse.
Love comes from within you. If you don’t generate love then you don’t recognize it.
Love yourself. Love your surroundings. Love the dogs. Love sunsets. Love chocolate cake. Love crayoning in colouring books.
Be the part you’re missing.
It’s YOUR perception therefore only YOU can change it.
 
L

lonely123456

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Sep 9, 2021
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No one ever loved me( my parents hate me and they were and still are soooooo abusive toward me ).
Every one I know at least experience some kind of love at some juncture in their lives except me.
I don't have much of feelings towards anyone though. They teach me to be like this. Heartless, cold and weak.
I’m sorry you haven’t felt loved. That is very lonely. If someone hasn’t loved you, even your parents, then that is a flaw in their character. Not yours.
You are important. Don’t wait on their validation. You are enough.
 
M

Misssunshine76 wasBreathingcorpse76

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2021
Messages
118
Location
Somewhere
Come on breathingcorpse.
Love comes from within you. If you don’t generate love then you don’t recognize it.
Love yourself. Love your surroundings. Love the dogs. Love sunsets. Love chocolate cake. Love crayoning in colouring books.
Be the part you’re missing.
It’s YOUR perception therefore only YOU can change it.
Come on breathingcorpse.
Love comes from within you. If you don’t generate love then you don’t recognize it.
Love yourself. Love your surroundings. Love the dogs. Love sunsets. Love chocolate cake. Love crayoning in colouring books.
Be the part you’re missing.
It’s YOUR perception therefore only YOU can change it.
Thanks for your answer. I was in a very bad mood and very anxious I wasn't ready to answer you with a clear mind( I failed in writing an essay 😭and my rivals are doing much better than me in their essays😭😭 they're much better than me I have to accept that I'm nothing compared to them.)
Well I love a couple of things but I don't have any feelings toward humans. I wish I could love someone and that person loves me back. I'm veryyyyyyyyy shy with men.
I wish I could change, but years of abuse and humiliation made me heartless and Indifferent.
All my emotions are very shallow and made by myself deep down I don't feel anything.
You're so kind to answer a person like me.
No one has ever been this attentive to me.
 
K

Keesha

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Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
4,005
Location
N/A
Thanks for your answer. I was in a very bad mood and very anxious I wasn't ready to answer you with a clear mind( I failed in writing an essay 😭and my rivals are doing much better than me in their essays😭😭 they're much better than me I have to accept that I'm nothing compared to them.)
Well I love a couple of things but I don't have any feelings toward humans. I wish I could love someone and that person loves me back. I'm veryyyyyyyyy shy with men.
I wish I could change, but years of abuse and humiliation made me heartless and Indifferent.
All my emotions are very shallow and made by myself deep down I don't feel anything.
You're so kind to answer a person like me.
No one has ever been this attentive to me.
Well everyone deserves love and attention and it would appear that your feelings are very much there. Maybe start listening to them.

Why so competitive and comparative?
Why do you always have to be the best at school? Why are your fellow students, your rivals? You seem to be adding loads of extra stress that you really don’t need.

Allow someone to excel without feeling the need to beat them. Stop comparing yourself to others. You don’t have to always be the best. Let that idea go. It’s driving you over the edge. Just do your best and let it go.

And listen! You don’t have to have the most loving family to feel loved. Some parents are so dysfunctional, that they don’t know how to offer that. If they didn’t offer you the love you rightly deserve then you need to learn how to do that yourself. Telling yourself you’re shallow and undeserving of love isn’t doing you any good whatsoever.

You have to create your own standards of love. You have to decide your own self worth which should be at the top of your list cause if you don’t love yourself, unconsciously you are telling the entire world that you are unlovable which simply isn’t true.

Why not start writing down all the things you are good at. Clearly you are good at studying. You appear to excel academically. That’s certainly noteworthy.
You write well and enjoy writing.

Do you like dogs? Cats?
Do you like eating? What types of foods do you like? Do you enjoy cooking?
What type of hobbies do you like?
What type of books do you like?

You know, it’s ok to be an introvert. There are plenty of people in the world who aren’t necessarily people lovers. They just don’t bond with people like others do which is perfectly ok. I think you have this warped perception that we are all doing great socially and have no social issues whatsoever which couldn’t be further from the truth. Most people have social issues. They are just better at hiding it. That’s it.

Plus the greatest love truly needs to be the one you have with yourself. You need to cultivate a loving attitude towards yourself and stop beating yourself up.
You are young. You’ve got your entire life to meet people and find that special person.

Besides which, you aren’t really ready to meet them yet. Put your school work first. Put yourself first. Work on acknowledging that you are worthy of love. If you don’t do this then you will forever be looking for someone else to fill that void in you which will never work.

Are you eating properly?
Are you exercising enough?
Are you sleeping ok?
Are you caring for your physical body?
Are you striving to be the best you?

Sometimes we struggle with our thoughts and don’t quite make the body connection. For instance if you aren’t eating properly then our minds don’t work as well as they should. Beating ourselves up surely isn’t the answer.

Next time you are in a mental funk, slump, ask yourself if you are eating properly? If you are feeding your body junk food, then expect confusion and irritability. If you aren’t sleeping well expect the same. If you aren’t caring for your body then don’t expect your mind to either. They are ATTACHED after all.

Our thoughts aren’t always accurate.
Our thoughts aren’t always healthy
Our thoughts don’t always serve us best…. which are very good reasons not to invest in them when they aren’t.

Whenever you start going on telling yourself you will never meet anyone or ever be worthy of love, STOP investing in the thoughts. They aren’t working for you.

Instead. Invest your time in taking care of your body. Within time, your thoughts will eventually start changing. The moment you start feeling those negative thoughts coming, then go over the above questions.
Are you taking care of yourself?
Are you eating well?
Are you exercising enough?
Are you sleeping well?

We aren’t all blissfully in love with others.
I think that’s a myth. For now, just look after yourself but with kindness and compassion.
 
M

Misssunshine76 wasBreathingcorpse76

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2021
Messages
118
Location
Somewhere
Well everyone deserves love and attention and it would appear that your feelings are very much there. Maybe start listening to them.

Why so competitive and comparative?
Why do you always have to be the best at school? Why are your fellow students, your rivals? You seem to be adding loads of extra stress that you really don’t need.

Allow someone to excel without feeling the need to beat them. Stop comparing yourself to others. You don’t have to always be the best. Let that idea go. It’s driving you over the edge. Just do your best and let it go.

And listen! You don’t have to have the most loving family to feel loved. Some parents are so dysfunctional, that they don’t know how to offer that. If they didn’t offer you the love you rightly deserve then you need to learn how to do that yourself. Telling yourself you’re shallow and undeserving of love isn’t doing you any good whatsoever.

You have to create your own standards of love. You have to decide your own self worth which should be at the top of your list cause if you don’t love yourself, unconsciously you are telling the entire world that you are unlovable which simply isn’t true.

Why not start writing down all the things you are good at. Clearly you are good at studying. You appear to excel academically. That’s certainly noteworthy.
You write well and enjoy writing.

Do you like dogs? Cats?
Do you like eating? What types of foods do you like? Do you enjoy cooking?
What type of hobbies do you like?
What type of books do you like?

You know, it’s ok to be an introvert. There are plenty of people in the world who aren’t necessarily people lovers. They just don’t bond with people like others do which is perfectly ok. I think you have this warped perception that we are all doing great socially and have no social issues whatsoever which couldn’t be further from the truth. Most people have social issues. They are just better at hiding it. That’s it.

Plus the greatest love truly needs to be the one you have with yourself. You need to cultivate a loving attitude towards yourself and stop beating yourself up.
You are young. You’ve got your entire life to meet people and find that special person.

Besides which, you aren’t really ready to meet them yet. Put your school work first. Put yourself first. Work on acknowledging that you are worthy of love. If you don’t do this then you will forever be looking for someone else to fill that void in you which will never work.

Are you eating properly?
Are you exercising enough?
Are you sleeping ok?
Are you caring for your physical body?
Are you striving to be the best you?

Sometimes we struggle with our thoughts and don’t quite make the body connection. For instance if you aren’t eating properly then our minds don’t work as well as they should. Beating ourselves up surely isn’t the answer.

Next time you are in a mental funk, slump, ask yourself if you are eating properly? If you are feeding your body junk food, then expect confusion and irritability. If you aren’t sleeping well expect the same. If you aren’t caring for your body then don’t expect your mind to either. They are ATTACHED after all.

Our thoughts aren’t always accurate.
Our thoughts aren’t always healthy
Our thoughts don’t always serve us best…. which are very good reasons not to invest in them when they aren’t.

Whenever you start going on telling yourself you will never meet anyone or ever be worthy of love, STOP investing in the thoughts. They aren’t working for you.

Instead. Invest your time in taking care of your body. Within time, your thoughts will eventually start changing. The moment you start feeling those negative thoughts coming, then go over the above questions.
Are you taking care of yourself?
Are you eating well?
Are you exercising enough?
Are you sleeping well?

We aren’t all blissfully in love with others.
I think that’s a myth. For now, just look after yourself but with kindness and compassion.
Thanks for you answer.
Now that I'm thinking....well no I don't eat enough and care about my physical body.
The reason is I have a problem with managing my time. But I really have to put some time for my physical wellbeing too.
Well maybe it's because those people that I called my rivals were the people who abused me in the dorm or because I don't know anything except some boring textbooks ( growing up poor and underprivilegedin a rural area I couldn't learn any form of art, musical instruments, sports or anything worthwhile)

You wrote so many good practical things like writing down what I'm good at.
I should focus on myself and loving myself then I have look for someone to love.
That's funny I don't even love myself and expect others to love me.
 
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