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Itchy...

  • Thread starter TheDarkPassenger
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TheDarkPassenger

TheDarkPassenger

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I don't even know if people read these posts, or how effective this is really being for me, but I am going to describe the best way possible if someone doesn't understand.

It's almost like an itch in the back of my mind, and the itch gets worse and worse before BOOM I finally try and hurt myself. I am usually pretty good at slowing the process down and the last time I actually tried to fatally hurt myself was about three years ago.

But the itch in my brain is growing, and as my feelings toward myself grows worse, the itch gets worse. I don't even care for anyone around me at this point. It's no longer thoughts in the back of my mind. I had an implement the other day, and almost did it right in front of my 12 year old sister. I haven't been able to sleep and my headaches are getting worse due to lack of sleep. But the itch is still perusing me, laughing at me.
 
CatLord

CatLord

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You are describing it like in a poem. I would like to read such poem but I would want to stay it that way...

When does this itchy feeling start ? What happens when it starts ?
Does it stop when you harm ?
 
TheDarkPassenger

TheDarkPassenger

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Joined
Dec 24, 2019
Messages
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Location
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You are describing it like in a poem. I would like to read such poem but I would want to stay it that way...

When does this itchy feeling start ? What happens when it starts ?
Does it stop when you harm ?
Yeah, it's kinda like a voice telling me dark or negative things. And I dont feel like I'm worth happiness and it feels better when I'm in pain. I usually just get piercings. Like my ears and such. I've got 20.
 
ReverieAnxiety

ReverieAnxiety

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Hi Dark!

You've probably been asked this a million times, but have you sought professional help? These kind of thoughts are dangerous. I've had thoughts like that. My therapist has told me to create a plan when something like that happens and to even recognize when it is about to happen. What helps me is to know that the thoughts in my head are not me. They may be there, they may have a voice, but deep down inside, I know that I would never hurt myself. It's only when times are dark, that these thoughts arise. The saying "this too shall pass" helps me a lot. *hugs*
 
TheDarkPassenger

TheDarkPassenger

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Hi Dark!

You've probably been asked this a million times, but have you sought professional help? These kind of thoughts are dangerous. I've had thoughts like that. My therapist has told me to create a plan when something like that happens and to even recognize when it is about to happen. What helps me is to know that the thoughts in my head are not me. They may be there, they may have a voice, but deep down inside, I know that I would never hurt myself. It's only when times are dark, that these thoughts arise. The saying "this too shall pass" helps me a lot. *hugs*
Yes, I am getting some help. I see my counselor every Saturday and I'm currently on Zoloft. They're bringing me off it, so it's probably switching soon. I'm surrounded by people nearly 24/7 so that I wouldn't have a chance like that. Anything that could hurt me are kept in eye sight, so I've got eyes on me.
 
CatLord

CatLord

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Yes, I am getting some help. I see my counselor every Saturday and I'm currently on Zoloft. They're bringing me off it, so it's probably switching soon. I'm surrounded by people nearly 24/7 so that I wouldn't have a chance like that. Anything that could hurt me are kept in eye sight, so I've got eyes on me.
Does having people around you bother you ? I think it's really nice to have someone to talk to
 
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