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It won't ever end

R

Rolandrat

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Apr 24, 2015
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169
Sick of the highs and lows of day to day life. SH is there in my thoughts all the time, every waking moment. My family are going out soon and I can't wait, I'm so scared, worried, anxious and full of self loathing of what I've become, probably scared of me as well. Trying my best to ignore it but the urges won't go away. Tried diversion and all the things listed that are supposed to help but nothing does aaaaaaah just need to shout about it. Sorry :cry2:
 

MarlieeB

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When your family go out can you go out yourself, take a walk? Have you got anything like a nature reserve near you?

xxx
 
R

Rolandrat

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Apr 24, 2015
Messages
169
I can't go out, I have a fear that I will tread on sharp things ( can't even go in garden). Seeing GP tomorrow, I think I shall write down things for him to read as I can't say it. Anxious that anti biotics have not healed a wound and they will put me away, everyone talking different languages to me, but all wrotten words in English. I looked in the mirror and my eyes filled with lots of tiny eyes - like frog spawn !
 

MarlieeB

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Not even by putting on more than one pair of socks and heavy duty shoes.

I think it's important you at least open the front door and breathe some air in if you can't go out.

Good idea about writing it all down!

xxx
 
R

Rolandrat

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Apr 24, 2015
Messages
169
No way, can't go out, not safe. Thanks for thinking about me xx
 
R

Rolandrat

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Joined
Apr 24, 2015
Messages
169
Gave in, it's calmed me down for a bit, in pain in my head and body. I'm so screwed up, this time last year I was a professional person and the life and soul of the party, I'm a million miles away from who I was and hating it. Think I'm really loosing the plot, everything feels weird.
Thanks
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Apr 9, 2011
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36,334
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
its horrible when you used to be happy and depression takes over and we feel so sad and low
i know how you feel i have completely lost myself and changed entirely within a year
please try not to hurt yourself again xxxx
 
R

Rolandrat

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Joined
Apr 24, 2015
Messages
169
I find it terrifying and don't know how much more changing i can do, it's the not knowing myself that is so frightening. Feel like I'm being controlled xx
 
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