- Jun 30, 2018
Hi.My story with starving myself has started when I was only 14 years old.Since I hit puberty I used to be overweight and I always hated myself.Long story short,I dieted since I was 14. I never knew how to maintain the weight that I lost,so I used to just gain the weight back,and then lose it again by starvation and then gain it again.I am 20 years old now and I still struggle with feeling absolutely disguisting with my body,even though I am thin now.Last year was the worst period of my life. I felt like giving up on everything. Yeah,I did lose a lot of weight but I wasn't happy. I isolated myself from everyone in my life. Since then I did maintain the weight,untill now. I reconnected with a friend that I isolated myself from a year ago and I just started living again,going to the parties,to the movies etc. I gained some weight. I strted obsessing over it. I had to lose it. It was insane. I cried today for no reason. I really thought that I was finally living normally for the past couple of months,and now I don't know anything. Everybody tells me that I look good,healthy and thin,but I just feel disgusting. It will never end,will it?
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