• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

It doesn't get better.

Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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Dec 21, 2020
Messages
489
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Moominvalley
It gets worse. I just want to stay in bed forever. I want to self harm but I'm trying not to think about it. I'm having suicidal thoughts and I spoke to my doctor about it. He says there's nothing that can be changed with my medication because he doesn't want to give me a higher dosage. I'm so tired. I'm having paranoid thoughts. It feels like people are going against me or planning something. I'm worried that I'll go viral and become a joke to the whole world. If that happens, I wouldn't know how to continue existing.
 
T

toucan

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Feb 26, 2021
Messages
56
Location
Chicago, IL
I feel all of that. If it's any consolation, you're not alone. I haven't been out in public in months except to go to drive-thrus or the occasional grocery trip (which is painful). I've been reading library ebooks in bed on my phone when I don't want to get up, and that has been helpful in distracting or easing my mind from bad thoughts. If that's something you might find helpful, the app I'm using is Libby. Your local library might have its own app, too.

Are you able to get a second opinion from a different doctor? If your medication isn't helping then your doctor should help you look for another solution.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
6,637
Location
Sheffield
I'm sorry you're feeling so low, I hope things improve for you soon. It may help to have a look at these two pages on the forum: Suicidal Crisis and Mental Health Forum - Getting Help about what to do if you're feeling suicidal, or if you need emergency help. I hope you can use the forum for support during this difficult time.

If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,144
Location
Nashua NH
I understand where you are coming from.
I often start my days this way. What works for me in overcoming it is forcing myself to get out of bed, Have some breakfast and do something to distract myself from the negative feelings. Coming on here and trying to help people plays a large role in this for me. It serves as a good distraction. Maybe if this doesn’t work for you for distraction from negative feelings you could find something else? xo, j
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
489
Location
Moominvalley
I feel all of that. If it's any consolation, you're not alone. I haven't been out in public in months except to go to drive-thrus or the occasional grocery trip (which is painful). I've been reading library ebooks in bed on my phone when I don't want to get up, and that has been helpful in distracting or easing my mind from bad thoughts. If that's something you might find helpful, the app I'm using is Libby. Your local library might have its own app, too.

Are you able to get a second opinion from a different doctor? If your medication isn't helping then your doctor should help you look for another solution.
Thank you so much. It's hard to find a psychiatrist. I've been to many over the years and none really helped so I just continue to contact the one I have right now. I really hate medication because of all of the side effects, and I'm scared of trying new ones. I also go to therapy and that helps a little bit. But sometimes I feel like it doesn't matter what I do, my mental health will just continue to control my whole life.
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
489
Location
Moominvalley
I understand where you are coming from.
I often start my days this way. What works for me in overcoming it is forcing myself to get out of bed, Have some breakfast and do something to distract myself from the negative feelings. Coming on here and trying to help people plays a large role in this for me. It serves as a good distraction. Maybe if this doesn’t work for you for distraction from negative feelings you could find something else? xo, j
Thank you so much. Yes, being on this forum helps. People are very nice here. I have a lot of books that I could read. I guess I'll start doing that more.
 
M

Miho

ACCOUNT CLOSED
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Feb 13, 2021
Messages
337
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Netherlands
I know where you are coming from. You are not alone in this. But a joke to the world? Never. I would come over to give you a hug and not let go!
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
489
Location
Moominvalley
I know where you are coming from. You are not alone in this. But a joke to the world? Never. I would come over to give you a hug and not let go!
Thank you so much. Sending hugs and I hope you're doing well.
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
489
Location
Moominvalley
I had suicidal thoughts yesterday and now today. I'm not going to hurt myself, but these thoughts are terrible. I tried everything to get better. I tried so many medications and going to therapy. I'm so angry because this doesn't get better. I'm tired of all of this. I know that people are talking about me and making fun of me. I hate those people. I just want to sleep all day.
 
TheSadnessWillLastForever

TheSadnessWillLastForever

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Joined
Oct 28, 2019
Messages
79
Location
Ohio
It's hard to get out of that cycle of not wanting to get out of bed and the feeling of people going against you definitely wouldn't help. It's possible for your mental health to get better tho. I used to self harm and think of suicide everyday now those thoughts aren't as overwhelming, thanks to meds and therapy. Id definitely try to get a second opinion if you feel your psychiatrist or meds aren't working. It can take a lot to find the cocktail that would be most beneficial to you, but keep trying. It's worth it to find
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
489
Location
Moominvalley
It's hard to get out of that cycle of not wanting to get out of bed and the feeling of people going against you definitely wouldn't help. It's possible for your mental health to get better tho. I used to self harm and think of suicide everyday now those thoughts aren't as overwhelming, thanks to meds and therapy. Id definitely try to get a second opinion if you feel your psychiatrist or meds aren't working. It can take a lot to find the cocktail that would be most beneficial to you, but keep trying. It's worth it to find
Thank you so much. I will try that and see what my psychiatrist says. I just get so tired of trying new medication, especially when it comes to the side effects.
 

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