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It’s been awhile, depression

Faith198

Faith198

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I’m back to feeling low again..
What I hate about this is I feel like I can feel myself wanting a drink when I feel really bad. I don’t drink so much I throw up, but I will take 4 shots at a time because anything less than that, doesn’t really help. I hate having to drink so many beers and things to feel the same feeling I’m searching for, so I do shots.
I drink rarely too.. like maybe twice a month I do this.

Idk if I’m worrying too much but I worry maybe I could be on my way to going down the wrong path. How can I stop running away from my feelings? I know what I’m doing most likely isn’t the best idea. :low:
 
B

blankstare

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Drinking or any form of drug use to squelch your feelings is absolutely not the answer and will only make things worse in the long run. I have been there. My advice to you is to stop running away from your emotions by actually choosing to experience them. I recently had to give myself permission to experience sadness and crying in order for me to truly feel it. It used to be literally impossible for me to cry, until I gave myself permission to do so. Your emotions happen for a reason. They are a reflection of who you are and if you let them happen and then analyze them you can learn about who you really are. They are not just some random thing that happens. The next time you feel one of these emotions you try to avoid coming on, recognize the emotion and then sit back, take a few slow deep breaths and truly allow yourself to experience it. Let it flow over you like a wave and don't resist how it affects you. It may be shockingly intense the first time. Whatever this emotion is it is happening because something in your life and or environment is affecting you in some way. And if it is in a negative way you need to experience the emotion so that you may identify the hazard and combat it, whatever it may be. If you deny your emotions you literally blind yourself to not only yourself but the world in general. As a human you can not live like that. You need to work to find the balance between having emotion and experiencing them but also do not let them rule you. Use them as a tool to improve yourself.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

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750
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I'm sorry to hear you're feeling low again and perhaps some of that can be attributed to the abnormal situation in which we currently live.

I use distress tolerance techniques to help me endure acutely strong, difficult emotions -- when I'm in an emotional crisis. Else I will try to sit with my feelings because I know they'll eventually pass. Sitting with them usually involves crying.

I could not let go of my anger until I learned how to cry.
 
Faith198

Faith198

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Joined
Mar 30, 2020
Messages
1,157
Location
U.S.
Drinking or any form of drug use to squelch your feelings is absolutely not the answer and will only make things worse in the long run. I have been there. My advice to you is to stop running away from your emotions by actually choosing to experience them. I recently had to give myself permission to experience sadness and crying in order for me to truly feel it. It used to be literally impossible for me to cry, until I gave myself permission to do so. Your emotions happen for a reason. They are a reflection of who you are and if you let them happen and then analyze them you can learn about who you really are. They are not just some random thing that happens. The next time you feel one of these emotions you try to avoid coming on, recognize the emotion and then sit back, take a few slow deep breaths and truly allow yourself to experience it. Let it flow over you like a wave and don't resist how it affects you. It may be shockingly intense the first time. Whatever this emotion is it is happening because something in your life and or environment is affecting you in some way. And if it is in a negative way you need to experience the emotion so that you may identify the hazard and combat it, whatever it may be. If you deny your emotions you literally blind yourself to not only yourself but the world in general. As a human you can not live like that. You need to work to find the balance between having emotion and experiencing them but also do not let them rule you. Use them as a tool to improve yourself.
Thank you for your advice, I will try to use that today. The emotions just overwhelm me sometimes and I’ve been stable for a while, so when it happens it feels really strong.
 
Faith198

Faith198

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 30, 2020
Messages
1,157
Location
U.S.
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling low again and perhaps some of that can be attributed to the abnormal situation in which we currently live.

I use distress tolerance techniques to help me endure acutely strong, difficult emotions -- when I'm in an emotional crisis. Else I will try to sit with my feelings because I know they'll eventually pass. Sitting with them usually involves crying.

I could not let go of my anger until I learned how to cry.

yeah it definitely doesn’t help. I will try to let myself feel the emotions, it’s just difficult. I know I need to figure out a way to cope with them though and not runaway, it’s just stopping myself from doing that. Thanks for your advice.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

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Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
750
Location
California, US
yeah it definitely doesn’t help. I will try to let myself feel the emotions, it’s just difficult. I know I need to figure out a way to cope with them though and not runaway, it’s just stopping myself from doing that. Thanks for your advice.
I hope you wont be hard on yourself. Knowing the road and walking it are two different things.

It's hard for me. Very hard to do, cause learning new coping skills is a beginning. Remembering to use them and practicing for life is work in progress for me.
 

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