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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Is this social anxiety ??

A

Adi01

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2010
Messages
60
Location
Berkshire
I have posted several threads in this forum since joining in march without being openly clear about my own symptons. The more i think and read about other postings i am leaning toward social anxiety but would love to nail it down.

The only way i can do this is by listing them, so please forgive me:

Avoid making phone calls, making contact with people in general that is outside my norm..
Avoid of going anywhere that is alien to me.For example an empty shop where i might be the only one in there.
Cant do anything spontaneous
Cant book holiday,join social group,hobby anything.
Luv to meet partner but to scared to sell myself because of potential rejection.

I could go on, there are far more all on the same line. The problem is i dont know what to do. The old saying "i will do it tomorrow" keeps coming up.

I have suffered several traumatic events in the last 20 years. Could this be an indicator. I am a person who needs an arm round shoulder on occasions. Is it confidence. Could this all just be shyness? i wish it could be that simple or is it more deep rooted.

Aint the end of the day i want to live my life. Any ideas?

Thanks for listening.....
 
tH@l35

[email protected]

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 8, 2009
Messages
45
Location
UK
I have posted several threads in this forum since joining in march without being openly clear about my own symptons. The more i think and read about other postings i am leaning toward social anxiety but would love to nail it down.

The only way i can do this is by listing them, so please forgive me:

Avoid making phone calls, making contact with people in general that is outside my norm..
Avoid of going anywhere that is alien to me.For example an empty shop where i might be the only one in there.
Cant do anything spontaneous
Cant book holiday,join social group,hobby anything.
Luv to meet partner but to scared to sell myself because of potential rejection.

I could go on, there are far more all on the same line. The problem is i dont know what to do. The old saying "i will do it tomorrow" keeps coming up.

I have suffered several traumatic events in the last 20 years. Could this be an indicator. I am a person who needs an arm round shoulder on occasions. Is it confidence. Could this all just be shyness? i wish it could be that simple or is it more deep rooted.

Aint the end of the day i want to live my life. Any ideas?

Thanks for listening.....
I dont want to be insensitive so I wont ask, but traumatic events can frequently trigger a person to develop symptoms of SA so depending on the nature of the incident, it could well be related to your current feelings. I personally suffered numerous, prolonged incidents throughout my early teens which I believe triggered my social anxiety, and 10 years later I'm still working against it. I'm no doctor, but from what you have listed I don't imagine you are 'just' shy, as I don't believe shy symptoms include lacking motivation, or (possibly) irrational perceptions. So you may well have SA but if I were you don't dwell on the consequences of having a diagnosis or 'label' as possibly your perceptions are not entirely rational anyway, and this concern should be secondary to your personal needs.

See your GP, and don't fear sounding 'weird' or 'mental', as they have heard it all before and you deserve the help that you need. Also, talk to people about your feelings, whether it's friends, family, or GP/therapist, discussing these thoughts is the first and best step towards overcoming them, it'll be a burden off your mind.

Best of luck :) and do share your concerns/let us know how you do.

John.
 
Last edited:
A

AbcAbc

New member
Joined
Jun 12, 2010
Messages
4
From what i've read, social anxiety is typically triggered from one event, then gets progressively worse. Once you convince yourself that you suffer from it, the problem will get worse as you focus on it more. My advice would either be to see a GP, who would either prescribe you drugs, or therapy. You could, before the problem gets worse, try to 'nip it in the bud'. Face up to what your scared of slowly for example, call your friends on the phone until you feel comfortable enough to call a shop or something & ask them if they have something in stock. The idea is to get used to/comfortable doing new things. At least on the phone if you get to scared you can just hang up & try again when you feel more confident. Once this is done, you may feel good enough to try and counter things that are more difficult. If you want to look into this more, i think this process is called systematic desensitisation, its a form of CBT that's regularly used to treat phobias, so i'm assuming it should work for social phobias too. Only a GP can officially diagnose you with SA. Hope this helped, good luck! :)
 
C

coraline1664

Guest
I understand completely. I have had dehabilitating SA from early childhood, I always felt mocked and treated badly from a young age. It's not nice feeling like the odd one out as a child. It made me feel ridiculous, worthless, very ugly, unlovable. I was very sensitive and a daydreamer. I didn't like the way I looked (I wore glasses as a child) and people treated me like a freak. I would be so surprised if someone didn't laugh at me and took me seriously. I was forced to do lots of after school activites by my mum and used to be physically sick with anxiety before them. When I got there all the other children would be in their own groups and I'd be the one in the corner. I kept it to myself thoughout my childhood until everything exploded at about age 15, and I stopped going to school (I couldn't have cared less about school at that point) and wouldn't leave the house.
It would be a great idea to try and look back to past events like other people say here, and try and challenge it as early as possible. Don't let it become your life and stop you enjoying yourself please. Start fighting near the beginning of this problem. Start to reinforce that there is nothing wrong with you and that it is all in your mind. I personally wouldn't recommend drugs for social anxiety at all. I wish I'd been more rebellious as a child and not felt that everyone else was right in what they said... but that's how it was. So many people really are idiots and I wish I hadn't let them get away with it. I have had a couple of years where it strangely disappeared completely and I was quite outgoing but I'm still battling it every day now including the resentment that comes with it.

Best of luck,
Liz
 
S

Schnuggle

Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2010
Messages
8
Location
South West Devon UK
I have posted several threads in this forum since joining in march without being openly clear about my own symptons. The more i think and read about other postings i am leaning toward social anxiety but would love to nail it down.

The only way i can do this is by listing them, so please forgive me:

Avoid making phone calls, making contact with people in general that is outside my norm..
Avoid of going anywhere that is alien to me.For example an empty shop where i might be the only one in there.
Cant do anything spontaneous
Cant book holiday,join social group,hobby anything.
Luv to meet partner but to scared to sell myself because of potential rejection.

I could go on, there are far more all on the same line. The problem is i dont know what to do. The old saying "i will do it tomorrow" keeps coming up.

I have suffered several traumatic events in the last 20 years. Could this be an indicator. I am a person who needs an arm round shoulder on occasions. Is it confidence. Could this all just be shyness? i wish it could be that simple or is it more deep rooted.

Aint the end of the day i want to live my life. Any ideas?

Thanks for listening.....
Dear Adi01

Thank you for sharing your difficulties with us. I'm sure they must be very painful for you.

As lay people who can only offer empathy, we do understand what it is to be devoid of a sense of belonging which can arrive out of those things that you are experiencing. Yes, Trauma can indeed upset how we view ourselves, and often does.

coraline1664 details here in her post, what can go wrong in childhood and how it can affect us in adulthood.
Furthermore, defective parenting has a lot to answer for in many situations.
My own early experiences are remarkably similar to those tragically suffered by coraline1664 at the hands of others in her childhood; and like her, has affected my adult life.
Now, I rarely leave the security of my home. Bereft of friendship, love and fellowship with others, I live only for my cats.

You haven't said whether or not you have any medical support, so I suspect you haven't approached anyone for help yet.
But there is help - your GP is your first point of contact. Your GP however, is not a specialist in mental health and that is why he can make an appointment for you to get the proper support you need. Don’t leave it in the hope the pain of your anxieties will go away eventually.
I did just that, and now I am a recluse.

Your GP can and should (in my view) refer you to your local Community Mental Health Team (CMHT).

The idea behind such a referral is so that you can have an informal meeting with a specially trained member of your CMHT, who will make any recommendations for referral to perhaps your local Psychiatrist, who could prescribe medication if appropriate; and/or, referral for a course of Psychotherapy which can often be a huge help for folk like us.

It is common for us to feel shame for being the way we are; and, instead of loving ourselves, we tend to beat ourselves up. The CMHT can be your bridge to a better, happier life.

Do come back to us here and, if you feel able, tell us a little more about yourself and what you feel might have been the triggers of your anxieties you experience now.

Mike.
 
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