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Is this PTSD or just trauma?

S

sadigali

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Joined
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
21
Location
Sweden
Hi! I'm sorry that it's not so detailed, I tried to get some important parts, but also tried to keep it relatively short. Please tell me if you want to know more details or something. :)

I had some stuff go down a few years ago regarding my mothers ex-girlfriend.
She would scream at me in the middle of the night (over really small things like me not putting one plate in the dishwasher), accuse me of stealing in her home, read through my phone, kick me out, turn me into the police (for something I didn't do), call my friends and pretending she's me, mentally abuse me, etc etc.
What I do most nowadays is tiptoe around my own house because I'm scared whatever I might do will cause a hysterical reaction and me being mentally abused as per usual..

A few weeks ago I experienced a similar situation with my dads girlfriend. We were all sitting down, eating dinner, and my dad jokingly said that I could live with them as long as I needed to. I thanked him and said that I'll consider it. my dads girlfriend told me that when my little bother is starting to grow up, I might need to move downstairs so that she and my dad could be upstairs close to my brother. I said of course, "it doesn't matter to me". We had a normal conversation after that, but after a few minutes she turned to me and said in a hostile tone that I was being arrogant. I said to her that of course I was going to move out someday, thinking that was what she was referring to. She said "you know that's not what I'm talking about and you're being really selfish right now!". I asked her calmly what was going on and I didn't know what I had done. She told me that I was being selfish and arrogant for not caring about what they wanted about the room. I explained to her that I was sorry she took it that way and didn't of course not mean it like that. She kept yelling at me, and I kept it together. It felt like I was being torn apart when she screamed and yelled at me for something so harmless as me offering to help when my brother grows up. At last she stopped and I took away my plate and went upstairs, I felt exhausted and cried myself to sleep that evening.

Then a few weeks later, she started yelling at me for not saving enough money. I tried to tell her that I could possibly not save more than I earned, and that 60% of my earnings went into my savings account. But with covid-19 and me studying I only had about 3 months worth of a full pay, and the rest was 8000kr (about 800 US dollars) a month.
I felt like my argument as to why I could not save that much a month was reasonable but she didn't. She kept yelling at me that I should just go out and get a full-time job. We had a long discussion and I really tried to keep it together but when I finally went to my room I cracked. It was horrendous. The first 20 minutes i scream-cried, and for the next hour i lied sniffling and semi-crying. I didn't move out of my bed that whole day and could definitely not go to the kitchen in case I met her.

Nowadays I'm scared that I will get into another useless argument with her.
Could my reaction to this be PTSD or is it just trauma catching up with me from my moms ex girlfriend? I know you're not doctors, but maybe someone has a similar experience and wants to share?
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I think trauma is a spectrum, like many other things.
Where traumatic experience becomes PTSD, i'm not sure.
Any trauma is treatable, often with the same therapies too, so you should look for support.
All traumas are difficult to cope with too.
A traumatic experience is something that you personally find difficult, not what another says is difficult. It is subjective.
 
S

sadigali

Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
21
Location
Sweden
I think trauma is a spectrum, like many other things.
Where traumatic experience becomes PTSD, i'm not sure.
Any trauma is treatable, often with the same therapies too, so you should look for support.
All traumas are difficult to cope with too.
A traumatic experience is something that you personally find difficult, not what another says is difficult. It is subjective.
Yes, thank you. I have been trying to get help about a lot of stuff but the waiting time for a psychiatrist here where I live is about 1,5 years. I will definitely read the article you posted as well!
 
S

sadigali

Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
21
Location
Sweden
What I have doesn't really match what this says. Even though I've read about PTSD before this was very easy for me to understand. Thank you for your help. I've come to the conclusion that what I have is not PTSD, but maybe a milder form of trauma. Will definitely talk about that in the future.
 
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