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Is this part of HOCD/SO-OCD?

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EL112

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These last few days I don't feel as desperate and distressed as before, I mean intrusive thoughts continue, but I just defend myself and before I was desperate, anxious and disgusted too; I know I should be grateful for not being on the verge of a panic attack all the time, except that not being like that seems like I'm "accepting or becoming lesbian / bi", I am not, but sometimes these intrusive thoughts are so strong that I genuinely don't know. Has anyone ever experienced this?
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Are you gay or worried you are gay? I don't understand this condition. I did think that it meant the person was trying to figure out who they are, but a member a while ago said that she was not gay and did not want to be, but still had this HOCD. There are many posts on the forum about this, perhaps look through previous posts as that might help you also.
 
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EL112

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[QUOTE = "Tawny, postagem: 2374183, membro: 84288"]
Você é gay ou está preocupado em ser gay? Eu não entendo essa condição. Eu achei que isso significava que a pessoa estava tentando descobrir quem ela é, mas um membro um tempo atrás disse que ela não era gay e não queria ser, mas ainda tinha esse HOCD. Há muitas postagens no fórum sobre isso, talvez veja as postagens anteriores, pois isso também pode ajudá-lo.
[/CITAR]
To tell you the truth, I also don't know exactly what happens, I just know that I am not and I do not desire women sexually or emotionally, it is not part of who I am, even though I know deep down, these thoughts and the need to confirm again and again, it doesn’t pass, it seems that I keep "accusing" myself of being gay and defending myself at the same time, also has a weird fear that I am losing my identity or that if I "find out" I will have to do something about it, but I just don't want to! It feels sometimes like I'm forcing myself to like it, it feels horrible. Thank you for the attention ♥
 
L

Lonelygirl91

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Are you gay or worried you are gay? I don't understand this condition. I did think that it meant the person was trying to figure out who they are, but a member a while ago said that she was not gay and did not want to be, but still had this HOCD. There are many posts on the forum about this, perhaps look through previous posts as that might help you also.
A lot of people misunderstand this particular OCD theme. This is NOT people who are in the closet or who fear "coming out" because of social stigma and family who are anti-LGBT. This is NOT having a problem with fay or LGBT people. There are gay people who also have SO-OCD but they fear being straight!

For sufferers this form of OCD attacks their identity and things that are important to us. Like for gay sufferers who fear being straight, being gay is an important part of their identity and vice versa for straight people who fear that they are gay.

I also suffer from SO OCD and have done for years. I also have a fear of being lesbian and bi. I've always desired men and want to find the right guy. I've seen many therapists; one of them said that this type of OCD is common. This OCD obsession is recognized by many therapists (good therapists- their are obviously therapists out there who arent very skilled or experienced in understanding OCD).
 
L

Lonelygirl91

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These last few days I don't feel as desperate and distressed as before, I mean intrusive thoughts continue, but I just defend myself and before I was desperate, anxious and disgusted too; I know I should be grateful for not being on the verge of a panic attack all the time, except that not being like that seems like I'm "accepting or becoming lesbian / bi", I am not, but sometimes these intrusive thoughts are so strong that I genuinely don't know. Has anyone ever experienced this?
I know exactly what you're going through. I've suffered from this OCD form for many years so I know how debilitating it is. I've experienced that with not feeling as distressed about thoughts. It's called desensitisation- you're brain is so used to these thoughts that it doesn't react the way it did before. I had a therapist who said it's like a horror film; the first few times you watch it it's really scary and horrible but each time you watch it, it becomes less scary and horrible.

The best advise I've been given is not to pay attention to these thoughts and analyse them; it only keeps you trapped in a vicious cycle where you will never get any answers. The best thing is to keep busy. OCD is the worst when you have too much time on your hands. It's hard during these COVID times but try to keep busy with a hobby or work. Also see if you can get in touch with a therapist.

It does get better. I've had this obsession for many years and I'm still straight 😂. The worst thing is to interact with the OCD.
 
E

EL112

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[QUOTE = "Lonelygirl91, postagem: 2375442, membro: 97581"]
Eu sei exatamente o que você está passando. Tenho sofrido desta forma de TOC há muitos anos, então sei como é debilitante. Já experimentei isso sem me sentir tão angustiado com os pensamentos. É chamado de dessensibilização - seu cérebro está tão acostumado com esses pensamentos que não reage da maneira que fazia antes. Tive um terapeuta que disse que é como um filme de terror; nas primeiras vezes que você assiste, é realmente assustador e horrível, mas cada vez que você assiste, torna-se menos assustador e horrível.

O melhor conselho que recebi é não prestar atenção a esses pensamentos e analisá-los; ele apenas o mantém preso em um ciclo vicioso em que você nunca obterá respostas. O melhor é se manter ocupado. O TOC é pior quando você tem muito tempo disponível. É difícil durante esses tempos de COVID, mas tente se manter ocupado com um hobby ou trabalho. Veja também se você pode entrar em contato com um terapeuta.

Fica melhor. Eu tenho essa obsessão há muitos anos e ainda sou hetero 😂. O pior é interagir com o TOC.
[/CITAR]
I am relieved to read this, now I can name this phase, which relieves me a lot. Thank you very much for your comments, I’m so sorry that you’ve had this OCD for so long, I don’t wish it to anyone! Much love♥
 
M

MrAnderson

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Jan 14, 2021
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Mexico
it's normal, someone that doesn't suffer hocd won't understand but let's say that its an irrational fear of being gay despite knowing you're not, those thoughts doesn't mean you're gay, it's just your mind freaking out irrationally. my advice just let them flow and don't pay attention don't seek reassurance and get therapy, reassurance will only strengthen compulsion
 
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