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Is this OCD? I know I have it already but freaking out!

K

Karalyn90

Active member
Joined
Jun 14, 2020
Messages
33
Location
Dayton, Ohio
Ok so I have had ocd since I was about 12, from stacking things in front of doors to feel safe, to counting how many times I touch the stove, I even had bouts of pure-o where I was very overwhelmed with scenarios that never Happened and it was clear to everyone that it was not real but it was very real to me... I had a moment where I believed my neighbor had a camera on the top of my hill and if I was in my bedroom I would always freak out because I would say “omg I was drying off with a towel what if he thinks I was rubbing myself inappropriately and he sees me through the crack in the blinds with his camera” and I would obsess over these ridiculous things for days! I haven’t had anything like that in a while except thinking I called someone and maybe left them a voicemail that I never did...saying that I’m a lesbian, or a racist.. (not either of those lol) but just now I had someone drop off amazon packages and about 8 Minutes before she rang the doorbell I was watching something on YouTube with my cousin and it was loud and my cousin was imitating the guy in the video and saying “you gona learn today!” as loud as he could and we were laughing and then we switched to funny kid fails and the kids often would fall or something comedic would happen But the kids would cry, There was one video where a husky was just HOWLING With this kid so loud and it was really funny... so then the doorbell rang and I was ok, I grabbed my packages and I noticed the girl walking down my driveway had her phone out in front of her like you would if u were on FaceTime... but she never said a word... she never even turned around or made eye contact. I said thank you and she just never turned around... kept her phone out and up as if she was taking a selfie but she wasn’t... and it set my ocd off in the craziest way I thought OMG what if she heard my cousin yelling and thought we were fighting (he’s super loud but we were laughing) then I remembered the kid fails and I’m like OMG maybe she hear that too and thinks there’s a kid crying in here, then I remembered the dog videos what if she thought a dog was getting hurt and she pulled out her phone to record audio... so now that Im Panicking that this chick came to my house to drop off packages but heard the loudness inside and Was startled and started recording and then recorded me when she was leaving and then the animal control will be after me (I have no animals) or maybe she thought we were fighting so she called the police (they would have been here by now) these are all my irrational intrusive thoughts ... can anyone let me know that this is just ocd rearing it’s ugly head with rationalizing Please?! My cousins just like wow you’re crazy
 
AnxiousE

AnxiousE

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 8, 2020
Messages
3,835
Location
USA
No one here can diagnose you, but it does sound like excessive worry IMO.
 
pinkflower17

pinkflower17

Active member
Joined
Aug 30, 2021
Messages
38
Location
United States
I see this is an old post. But as a former Amazon delivery person I can tell you we had so many deliveries to make we just had our devices out looking into the next delivery, notes, where it was etc. Amazon works you until you can’t work anymore! Sometimes I’d have an airpod in and not hear someone talking to me or I’d just be hyper focused to get the next delivery done so I could move onto the remaining 100+ and get done.
 
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