is this normal for bipolar.?i

[typicallypop]

hi guyswhat I wanted to talk to you about today is I was diagnosed with bipolar about 5 weeks ago now and my meds are being increased incrementally. im currently at 350 mg of quetiapine. I was taken off my anti depressant about 8 weeks ago when initially diagnosed as cyclothymia and since then my mood has been extremely low. it was so low up until about 3 weeks ago I could have quite easily jumped off something high. I seem to have upped a bit in mood but still very low. should I be askingfor am anti depressant as well? my initial one (paroxetine/seroxat) was making me manic id been on it for 6 years . I now don't get such severe manics but I hate this feeling low.
this drop in mood has seen me bordering on losing touch with reality where I become convinced my husband is going to leave me and go back to his ex wife (she emotionally abused him for years and when he was hospitalized for it she started am affair and left him and he had to discharge himself to take over care of children so its less than impossible he would go back to that!) but it seems so real. then I spend every waking moment and everything hi do and everything we do (me and my husband) and talk about comparing myself and our relationship to her and his relationship with her.

its madness really cos he was so so unhappy with her and he really is the love of my life and he says same about me but I can't seem to shake these thoughts. to be honest as well the 4 kids we still have living with us and none of them want a relationship with her. the youngest 2 hve just made their minds up about that. my husband and I have always encouraged them to go even coercing when they didmt want to go but legal advice last week assures us they no longer have to go so its not like she is this wonderful person cos she really isn't but why am I so preoccupied with these awful thoughts (which are so distressing and painful etc and what can I do about them? what have you all tried that has worked.?big hugs.

 

[teddybear2067]

Hiya

I'm no expert on relationship advice, but I can tell you from personal experience that when you're on a low you only focus on the negative parts.

e.g. My friends went for a day trip today to see a show. They had been planning it for months, and I was jealous and offended because they hadn't asked me to go. But I recognized this feeling and told myself it wasn't the end of the world - I do plently of things with other friends. So I stopped myself from getting really angry about it.

All I can suggest to you is try and listen to the part of your brain that is rationalizing. The way I explain things is that I have two parts of my brain: the rationalizer and the bipolar. My "sane brain" tells me not to be an idiot and calm down and my "bipolar" side just takes all the negative stuff and throws it in my face. Just try and listion to your rationalizing, even if it's very quiet compared to what the other part is telling you. It's logical and true and you have to try and focus on that.

Good luck, I hope things get better x

 

[typicallypop]

thank you so much for the reply. what you described is exactly what happens to me and that is a relief- that its not just me and that it seems to be part of the thing.

what I struggle with is some days when im having a good day or hour I can drown out these thoughts etc but as soon as i start getting down or manic I can't keep them at bay and then im really in trouble. it all feels so real even though its not happened etc. does this make sense.?

thanks for replying again.
hug

 

[teddybear2067]

Hey again

I know what you mean. And i hope you can take comfort in the fact that a lot of people here are going through the same thing as you, and they can give you encouragement. I'm sure you must be very overwhelmed at the moment, and feeling alone in your situation.
Some people try to fit in with everyone else and keep their problems to themselves. I've found that this condition affects everyone around you even if you try not to let it, and the best way to deal with things is to let people know the deal so that they can accept it and treat you accordingly. Me, I don't want to be treated differently, but there's no oter way around it. I've had to ask my flatmates, friends etc to be careful what they say to me.
What's best for you is to figure out how you want to do things now that bipolar is in your life, and accept that for a while you'll have to be very self-centred and even selfish because this is a big thing you're going through.
The people in your life will be accepting and understanding, and it will get better, but it will take a while, so be prepared!

Best of luck xxxx