Is this hocd?

K

Keeley18

New member
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Glasgow Scotland
Hi! I am almost certain I have had hocd since August last year. It started by focusing on my favourite actress and the thought came out of nowhere “do I have a crush on her?” It make me lose my appetite and become really upset and anxious. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I have only ever had crushes on boys, been attracted to boys and imagined being with a boy. I have also had what I am almost certain is scruptulosity, just right ocd and suicide ocd in the past. I am still suffering from what I really think is hocd right now. I constantly check my emotions by thinking about being with a boy and then a girl to see how I feel. I also look at pictures of girls to see how I feel as well as analyse my past all the time. I used to think about boys constantly. I also used to think about that actress a lot but I never had any romantic or sexual feelings towards her- I always imagined being her friend or meeting her. But my hocd tells me that I only got anxious over the thoughts becuse I “realised I had a crush on her” but it doesn’t make sense. I want to know, is it normal to think about a celebrity as much as that? And is it normal for hocd to focus on one person most of the time? I had focused on one of my female friends and I did get thoughts sometimes about random girls I passed on the street and I do compulsions when I see random girls but it mostly focuses on this one person. Also, before I watched one of her films I would get an excited feeling in my stomach because I was looking forward to it but my hocd tells me it’s because it was something more. I have been basically diagnosed via email from an ocd specialist but he can’t diagnose me properly, he just pointed out all my compulsions. Sorry this is long but any help would be appreciated
Thanks
 
nomask

nomask

Member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
23
Location
USA
If it makes you that upset to think you may have a crush on someone, it's very unlikely to really be romantic attraction. Platonic crushes are a very real thing! You can definitely fantasize about being friends with someone and get excited when you're going to see someone you like only as a friend.
 
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