Is this full on psychosis or depersonalization?

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PaigeTWoods

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#1
Hi everyone,

I’ve had anxiety for a year now, but it has turned into depression lately. I’ve been feeling so weird but last night I think I might have had a psychotic episode. I truly felt like I wasn’t me anymore and that I wasn’t real, I thought I had imagined my whole life and none of it was real. I looked in the mirror and had a full panic attack because I didn’t know who that was looking back at me. I didn’t sleep at all because I felt so crazy all night. Today I’m not the best from it at all. I’m afraid to look in the mirror and when I hear my voice it sounds alien to me. Please help is this a psychotic episode? I can’t tell.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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#2
Hi there.I can't say for sure what's going on with you but I suggest you go talk to someone about it since it's causing you so much distress.
 
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Umbrella

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#3
When I had an experience very similar to yours (derealization per DSM), the doctor told me I was dissociating and prescribed an antipsychotic. It helped. She diagnosed me with PTSD. I also had a slew of paranoid delusions and voices, which I realized weren't real and admitted to after the medication kicked in, and was then diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder also.
 
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nightmare57

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#5
Normally with psychosis and delusions they are experienced continually. They don't switch on and off in a day. With delusions they creep up and become more prominent until they take over.
 
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PaigeTWoods

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#6
(Cont'd.) Your experience sounds like depersonalization to me.
Hi Umbrella, thanks so much for your reply. I hope your feeling better now. I’m seeing a psychiatrist in 2 weeks so hoping to get answers finally. Did the antipsychotics help you with the depersonalization? I’m on antidepressants all year and they have done nothing to help.
 
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PaigeTWoods

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Normally with psychosis and delusions they are experienced continually. They don't switch on and off in a day. With delusions they creep up and become more prominent until they take over.
Hi nightmare57, thanks for your reply. Unfortunately this doesn’t switch on and off for me, it has been consistently getting worse over the past year, started out with panic attacks daily, then I felt like there was a glass wall between me and the world then it felt like my surrounds weren’t real, then it felt like I wasn’t real, then my memories weren’t mine, then nothing was real and finally I couldn’t recognize my face in the mirror/photos and that’s when I feel I lost it totally. I am now totally numb and feel dead tbh. It has been a gradual decline. Still, not sure that proves/disproves anything.
 
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nightmare57

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#8
Another maker for psychosis is that you lose insight into the delusions.

I experience dissociation, I feel like my life is a conveyer belt just plodding on, I feel distant from my emotions, it's differently different symptoms and feelings to the psychosis and mania I get. I can pinpoint the symptoms and know about them where with the psychosis I lose insight. I only started getting the dissociation feelings after I experienced something traumatic 2 years ago.
 
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PaigeTWoods

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#9
Another maker for psychosis is that you lose insight into the delusions.

I experience dissociation, I feel like my life is a conveyer belt just plodding on, I feel distant from my emotions, it's differently different symptoms and feelings to the psychosis and mania I get. I can pinpoint the symptoms and know about them where with the psychosis I lose insight. I only started getting the dissociation feelings after I experienced something traumatic 2 years ago.
I get what you mean I think, if I am aware that these feelings are wrong it’s not psychosis? Yeah I had a traumatic experience last year too when all this started. Never understood that a human being could possibly feel like this. I’m so sad that others have to suffer this, it’s an absolute nightmare. Can I ask if your dissociation ever improved? Any tips on dealing with it? Your so kind for taking the time to reply.
 
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nightmare57

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#10
My dissociation has improved but I can see feel it in the background a little bit. I'm on antipsychotics for the psychosis. I know for me the antipsychotics hasn't improved the dissociation feelings as when I experienced the trauma which was the cause of the dissociation I was on the same antipsychotic I'm on now. My dissociation has improved over time though. It certainly isn't as strong a feeling as when it first started.

I think to improve your depersonalisation try and live a stress free life. I think living a stress free life has improved my symptoms. You should also talk to a counsellor to better cope with the trauma you experienced.
 
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PaigeTWoods

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#11
My dissociation has improved but I can see feel it in the background a little bit. I'm on antipsychotics for the psychosis. I know for me the antipsychotics hasn't improved the dissociation feelings as when I experienced the trauma which was the cause of the dissociation I was on the same antipsychotic I'm on now. My dissociation has improved over time though. It certainly isn't as strong a feeling as when it first started.

I think to improve your depersonalisation try and live a stress free life. I think living a stress free life has improved my symptoms. You should also talk to a counsellor to better cope with the trauma you experienced.
I get you. Glad your feeling better, thanks for the advice I really appreciate it a lot. Hopefully this will pass for me too.
 
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Umbrella

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#12
Hi Umbrella, thanks so much for your reply. I hope your feeling better now. I’m seeing a psychiatrist in 2 weeks so hoping to get answers finally. Did the antipsychotics help you with the depersonalization? I’m on antidepressants all year and they have done nothing to help.
Dear Paige, Yes, the antipsychotics did help me with the dissociation. Really. They did. Mine was derealization, very similar to depersonalization. The medication made that go away right away. But my delusions took a whole month for me to realize they were part of an illness or condition. It was many years ago. So they helped that, and they also helped with the delusions, which were totally unrelated. Two birds with one stone. I was a member of a forum for people with DID, DDNOS, and PTSD -- all dissociative disorders just like the depersonalization is -- and everybody there had been given antipsychotics. The antipsychotics didn't seem to help the DID people, though. They continued, most of them, to have the multiple personalities. But, as an end-user myself, I would definitely encourage you to ask your doctor about this kind of med, 'cause it helps me a lot. Maybe would help you too. Best wishes! :)
 
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PaigeTWoods

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Dear Paige, Yes, the antipsychotics did help me with the dissociation. Really. They did. Mine was derealization, very similar to depersonalization. The medication made that go away right away. But my delusions took a whole month for me to realize they were part of an illness or condition. It was many years ago. So they helped that, and they also helped with the delusions, which were totally unrelated. Two birds with one stone. I was a member of a forum for people with DID, DDNOS, and PTSD -- all dissociative disorders just like the depersonalization is -- and everybody there had been given antipsychotics. The antipsychotics didn't seem to help the DID people, though. They continued, most of them, to have the multiple personalities. But, as an end-user myself, I would definitely encourage you to ask your doctor about this kind of med, 'cause it helps me a lot. Maybe would help you too. Best wishes! :)
Awh thank you so much, you’ve given me hope which is all we need some times. I can’t thank you enough, and I will definitely ask about this at my next appointment!