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is this everything life has to offer?

mirrormaker

mirrormaker

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Joined
Jul 18, 2021
Messages
69
Location
Spain
If you are really depressed is probably better to skip this post. It is not going to be too dark but i sense is going to be too depressive. I start now.

What is left when life bores you? This year has been the worst of my life but not because many bad things had happened. In fact i could even say my circumstances have improved.
But one thing has changed: the realization that my life has nothing to offer, no more real interests.

You know when people suggests to find a hobby, to join a club, to pursue some goals? what happens when you don't find joy in anything.

What i have today is not the usual depression. Is a lack of interest in life. I have felt worse other days but today i come from my job, wich i find boring but is probably the best job i could find.
And i can see my boring future of going to my house where noone will be waiting for me. And unable to enjoy any hobby because depression just takes away all your interests.

It's true that i am very pessimistic when i have depression , but this could perfectly happen to me in a few years or sooner. So if/when that happens what is next i wonder.

Most advices here would be don't think about a future that may not happen, but i kind of need a plan b. Just in case the most probable thing happens.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Staff member
Forum Guide
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Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,399
Location
England
I decided that if i could not die, i would stop living. I stopped living, stopped trying, slept, went through the motions.

Life did happen again, a basic one, more sad times but a few good times.

It isn't perfect, but i don't have much choice.

I know you don't want to hear it but really all we have is right now. There is no point in looking too far ahead but a day at the beach, coffee in the morning, the pleasure of hoovering the carpet tomorrow, it is enough, well it has to be.

You just have to keep going.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Former member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,703
Location
USA
If you are really depressed is probably better to skip this post. It is not going to be too dark but i sense is going to be too depressive. I start now.

What is left when life bores you? This year has been the worst of my life but not because many bad things had happened. In fact i could even say my circumstances have improved.
But one thing has changed: the realization that my life has nothing to offer, no more real interests.

You know when people suggests to find a hobby, to join a club, to pursue some goals? what happens when you don't find joy in anything.

What i have today is not the usual depression. Is a lack of interest in life. I have felt worse other days but today i come from my job, wich i find boring but is probably the best job i could find.
And i can see my boring future of going to my house where noone will be waiting for me. And unable to enjoy any hobby because depression just takes away all your interests.

It's true that i am very pessimistic when i have depression , but this could perfectly happen to me in a few years or sooner. So if/when that happens what is next i wonder.

Most advices here would be don't think about a future that may not happen, but i kind of need a plan b. Just in case the most probable thing happens.

This is just my opinion, but I think the times are really bad for finding things to be interested in. COVID has pretty much shut down a lot of our ability to go out and do things like we used to. I haven't been out to a restaurant in a year and a half. I stopped grocery shopping almost 8 months ago, I order groceries online and have them brought out to my car. Just walking through stores and window shopping has become almost extinct.

Thinking of joining a club? Try to find one that is operating now, they're all shut down. Community centers closed, sports stadiums have crowds controlled small. Most people feel very isolated right now and are at their wits end from boredom and stress.

I can't help but think your 'boredom' and 'lack of interest in life' is a by-product of this lousy pandemic. I know it has me feeling down, it seems things are never going to get back to the old normal.
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
Life is so strange as we have this gift of being down depressed and more things in our life, then you have to decide what road to take Right is to carry on and not try help BUT turn left and your life might just change for the best. Recovery is all that is now on my mind as I have been a fighter all my life as sick and tired of being sick and tired I had to make very big changes in my life and I got there too. I am very proud today of what and who I am and if I could relive a different life I'd say NO, as with us we are all one thing that I say we are survivors even if you don't think it. So we have a purpose in life to carry on and help our selfs then help others.
 
M

morty2

Former member
Joined
Jul 25, 2021
Messages
1,544
Location
kent
I think i heard it on here somewhere it can be feeling of STUCKNESS!!!!..Thats what ive got.
 
lucasso

lucasso

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Joined
Aug 4, 2021
Messages
231
Location
London
I can relate to stuckness. The covid lockdown has eased off here but during it, I was very lucky to be in a bubble with friends and we would stay connected. Now there's no lockdown and things have opened up, I want to get out and about but I seem to just stay in all-day. Everything seems too much effort at the moment.

I remember working a decade or so ago and I felt I was just going back and forwards and found no pleasure in anything. I've had two relationships since then and my mojo comes back when I am with someone and staying connected. Right now I have a close friend but I don't want to see them too much so I spend quite a lot of time on my own. I am hoping a learn to adjust to doing things for myself and meet new people by getting out and about. I know my interest in life will return when I do, but for now I seem content just to mill around not doing much. I'm able to relax and I have a home so I'm making use of that for now. But deep down I know I'm kinda stuck in many ways. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but in the present, I want to find some energy and curiosity about the world outside and begin to venture out more often.
 
mirrormaker

mirrormaker

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Joined
Jul 18, 2021
Messages
69
Location
Spain
you know what people? i envy you. many of you fight depression, fight loneliness. you live through it and keep going.
i can't. i'm not even alone yet because i have my parents and some friends. i found a job with decent conditions but that is not enough for me just because is solitary and boring.

but i can't accept my future of loneliness. i could change it but i don't even know what should i be changing.
i have even thought that i could suicide even when things are still going relatively good. i hope i never get that far, but this depression is like a snowball, if it continues rolling, who knows what i could do.
 
M

Marianda

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Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
1,358
Location
South America
you know what people? i envy you. many of you fight depression, fight loneliness. you live through it and keep going.
i can't. i'm not even alone yet because i have my parents and some friends. i found a job with decent conditions but that is not enough for me just because is solitary and boring.

but i can't accept my future of loneliness. i could change it but i don't even know what should i be changing.
i have even thought that i could suicide even when things are still going relatively good. i hope i never get that far, but this depression is like a snowball, if it continues rolling, who knows what i could do.
I'm at a point where I don't find anything interesting in my life anymore.My career is "stuck" and I feel all the best part of my life is gone. However I keep on going because I have no other altetnative. The only "other altetnative" would be to "shoot myself" but I don't have the guts to do that, at least not right now.. .. I just hope that I don't live for too long.
 
lucasso

lucasso

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Joined
Aug 4, 2021
Messages
231
Location
London
What scares you about a future of loneliness and what makes you feel you will be alone? For me it's my circumstance but what's changed over the last 8 years is the trauma and depression that went with it has abated. I have a place of my own which I hold on too. The thought of living alone in a flat filled me with fear, but now I can close my front door and enjoy my own space.

I only have a few friends who I see once or twice a week, no parents or family of my own. I am in my late 40s and when I was in my 20s I hoped for a career, my own family and loads of friends but life never turned out like that. In a very odd way, I've been blessed to have a menial part-time job where I work in a shop so I meet people and work with people. I enjoy it more than my previous well-salaried career. And when I was working 9 to 5 5 days a week and commuting I never saw my so-called friends much so in a strange way I am less alone now. I'd like to meet someone but don't know if I could take the risk of meeting someone new. I wonder if I will fall into depression if I don't get myself out and about more. I have spent the majority of my life alone and only now am I beginning to get used to it. I realise my present is loneliness in the main but that doesn't necessarily mean it will be my entire future.
 
U

Usedup

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Joined
Apr 23, 2021
Messages
103
Location
US
I'm at a point where I don't find anything interesting in my life anymore.My career is "stuck" and I feel all the best part of my life is gone. However I keep on going because I have no other altetnative. The only "other altetnative" would be to "shoot myself" but I don't have the guts to do that, at least not right now.. .. I just hope that I don't live for too long.
I can relate. Everything's so lukewarm and bland. Not really interested in much.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Former member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,703
Location
USA
you know what people? i envy you. many of you fight depression, fight loneliness. you live through it and keep going.
i can't. i'm not even alone yet because i have my parents and some friends. i found a job with decent conditions but that is not enough for me just because is solitary and boring.

but i can't accept my future of loneliness. i could change it but i don't even know what should i be changing.
i have even thought that i could suicide even when things are still going relatively good. i hope i never get that far, but this depression is like a snowball, if it continues rolling, who knows what i could do.

Just take it one day at a time, that has been my solution. I'm 66 and I've had clinical depression since I was 12. Have I thought of suicide in the last 54 years? You bet I have, multiple times. Many folks in this forum have felt that way.

Deep depression is bad, but it never lasts. The bigger challenge is the 'stuckness' somebody noted. You have food, housing, clothing and income sufficient for your needs-if not for all your wants. But you feel something major is missing from your life, each day turns into the same old 'slog' just to make it through. The idea that your future will consist of nothing but many more 'slogs' is dreadfully unappealing. That despair could lead someone to suicide I think, just like depression could

But, never do anything based on temporary feelings of despair. If you're in that mindset, give it a few weeks to pass. Usually you'll feel better by then, something will appear to make life more tolerable-at least for most folks.

Myself, I plan on retiring early next year after 45 years in industry. I want to do the things I didn't have time to do while working-study some topics, volunteer, spend more time with my wife, do some traveling, go to more Church functions-maybe go back to some places I lived in as a young boy. When you get to be my age there is a great appeal to putting your life in perspective-trying to figure what it was all about? You never have time for that deep thinking while working, but retirement offers that opportunity. Peace.
 
M

ManDss

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Joined
Apr 22, 2018
Messages
1,585
Location
Argentina
but i can't accept my future of loneliness. i could change it but i don't even know what should i be changing.
i have even thought that i could suicide even when things are still going relatively good. i hope i never get that far, but this depression is like a snowball, if it continues rolling, who knows what i could do.

Loneliness, dont u think u could find someone to be wlth ? If that is the problem.
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

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Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
3,408
Location
Pyongyang, DPRK
My advice is simple here: just help others. It's a really difficult place to be in, can relate to how you feel. Helping others was important for me - I could be of use to others while I figured things out for myself. Eventually, I realised that I found meaning in those small actions of helping others. Even if it's little things, look around and help others x
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
you know what people? i envy you. many of you fight depression, fight loneliness. you live through it and keep going.
i can't. i'm not even alone yet because i have my parents and some friends. i found a job with decent conditions but that is not enough for me just because is solitary and boring.

but i can't accept my future of loneliness. i could change it but i don't even know what should i be changing.
i have even thought that i could suicide even when things are still going relatively good. i hope i never get that far, but this depression is like a snowball, if it continues rolling, who knows what i could do.


The future is the future for a reason, We do NOT know what will happen to us all in the future at all we really don't, so what we have to do is look at the here and now of our lives. Like R_Sxo above said just help others as it is important in our lives, so while we help others that can help us to see and sort our own issues out even the smallest thing to say something can really help some people.
 
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