is this considered emotional abuse? also, unwanted/intrusive memories?

A

ann77645

New member
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
1
#1
i'm going to try and keep this short. i have anxiety and and eating disorder. i'm in treatment and so we've been digging deep in our pasts and stuff to try and see why we are the way we are, so we can get proper help.

i feel like this wouldnt be considered emotional abuse bc it just seems like melodramatic teenage drama that everyone goes through but my husband says otherwise.
4/5 years ago i had a friend who constantly lied, tried to isolate me from my other friends, guilted me into staying her friend by saying she hated herself/wanted to hurt herself so i couldn't leave the friendship, used demeaning nicknames and phrases, ignored me and refused to communicate sometimes, blamed everything on me, etc. b/c of it, i have trouble trusting people, opening up&being vulnerable, speaking in groups bc i feel like my opinions are inadequate, etc.
after we cut ties, i used to have weird panic attack things about it. where I'd lie in bed and feel trapped in my own skin and the memories of it all would come & i couldnt stop it.
i havent thought about it in a long time but then i brought her name up in treatment and i had another "episode" of the unwanted memories coming back and panicking later that night.

could that be considered emotional abuse? what constitutes it? my husband refers to it as such but i dont think it is bad enough for that title. i'm wanting to bring it up in treatment but feel stupid & immature for doing so, as it feels like an immature thing to still be affecting me today
 
Last edited:
RookieatBest

RookieatBest

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2019
Messages
141
Location
N/A
#2
Friendship was abuse

Hi.

Yes you were in a abusive friendship relationship imo. Verbal and emotional abuse imo. I think your husband is right.

Mentally and emotionally you have become traumatized by it as you said you have anxiety and an eating disorder which possible is more reasons to the illnesses. You'll learn why in treatment.

It's okay to feel a lack of trust from people and be quiet until you do that's being mature. Immaturity comes by being flat out ignorant stupid. And you're not being stupid for not opening up, but being careful when trusting.

Our past is what shapes and makes you into your present future. It's up to you to go back in time and change the past to heal wounds and rewrite your present future if you can or want to.

How you were treated and treated yourself when growing up effects your mental health; which could have develop into mental illnesses. Google: What's the difference between mental health and mental illnesses. Website is heretohelp.bc.ca.

GL GB BS with your treatment!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
RookieatBest

RookieatBest

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2019
Messages
141
Location
N/A
#3
There's psychology/science and spiritual reasons to why we have a lot of action going on in our minds and how to deal with it. Too many to name. GL GB BS in treatment!
 
E

eli_mom

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2018
Messages
24
#4
I’m very sorry you had a tough time. Try to talk to your therapist about it and I hope she can help you with your emotions. I hope things will get better. Please keep us posted. We are here for you.

I pray for peace and you will overcome anxiety and eating disorder. God bless.
 
T

toutatis

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
55
Location
New Zealand
#5
Hi,

Yes, that's emotional abuse, ann77645. It's teenage drama too, sure, but it's emotional abuse. A proper friendship/relationship is about love and compassion, support, good things, etc., not this constant negativiry and trying to drag you down all the time. It's terrible. I understand where you're coming from, though, because when I was younger and really didn't know much better, I accepted a lot of negativity from a certain friend as well, but as time went by and I grew as a person I ended up cutting ties completely.
 

Similar threads