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Is this because of anxiety?

B

Broken Mountain

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May 23, 2020
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I am that kind of persons who doesn't trust people easily ,that is why I am so lonely..
However, I think it is beyond the"Trust" thing..
when I get to know someone new (and btw it takes much effort from me to do so), I feel ok at first and usually feel pleased and comfortable..but when this person makes a normal mistake in our relationship, I feel so afraid of this person and start thinking about every bad possibility that can occur..I become insecure and very wary..actually I once broke with a friend due to something like that( we weren't a good match though)..
Is this related to my anxiety in any way?
 
Z

Zoe1

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Jul 8, 2019
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I wonder if like me you expect too much intimacy too soon
like maybe there are layers to be unfolded
where the new person is just an acquaintance

and then I think when is the right time
that we move from acquaintance to friends ?
and I found recently with one new friend
that it was best to be acquaintances
and stay that way for as long as it takes

and now that person ( someone who is not unwell )
has started opening up to me
I let it come from her
I feel this is going well

its taken a couple of years to get to this point

:hug5: 🐢 🍀 🎼
 
B

Broken Mountain

Active member
Joined
May 23, 2020
Messages
33
Location
...
I wonder if like me you expect too much intimacy too soon
like maybe there are layers to be unfolded
where the new person is just an acquaintance

and then I think when is the right time
that we move from acquaintance to friends ?
and I found recently with one new friend
that it was best to be acquaintances
and stay that way for as long as it takes

and now that person ( someone who is not unwell )
has started opening up to me
I let it come from her
I feel this is going well

its taken a couple of years to get to this point

:hug5: 🐢 🍀 🎼
I agree with you
Actually..I have very high standards towards people and usually expect too much..I am an idealist and I hate it ,but it affects the way I think about friends and people.
I will try to apply your advice..
Thanks💙
 
Z

Zoe1

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12,339
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thankyou I had not thought about it as high standards
but maybe I do that as well
learning to be tolerant in real life is difficult for me
and not to blame myself when they fall below my standards
 
B

Broken Mountain

Active member
Joined
May 23, 2020
Messages
33
Location
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thankyou I had not thought about it as high standards
but maybe I do that as well
learning to be tolerant in real life is difficult for me
and not to blame myself when they fall below my standards
Yeeh..I can absolutely relate to this sentence "not to blame myself when they fall below my standards"
 
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