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Is this anxiety? Whats wrong with me?

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lespaulman01

Active member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
31
Location
England, UK
Im a 20 year old male whose been suffering with a big problem for so long. Bear with me cus im writin this as it comes to me.

I have been sufferin with a problem since i was 15. I have always been acutely afraid of the opposite sex and i always become nervous around girls i like. I fear what people think of me all the time especially at work and with women. Ive never had a girlfriend and only had sex once whilst drunk cus thats the only time i have courage to do so.

My dad suffers from pure ocd and had it pretty bad (even being hospitalised for it when he was younger). I suffered from panic attacks from the age of 15 and i was scared that my body was damaged or i might have to go to hospital for something. After this i didnt have panic attacks often but i would get scared bout many things. After watchin a film called constantine i became terrified that i might be haunted by the devil. I knew this not to be totally tru but it still scared me. Im an athiest now but every now and again i can get scared that this might still happen. I get nervous about how many hours i get to sleep for and i occasionally have problems gettin to sleep, although this used to be a big problem for me. When times were really bad i used to hear background noises at night like a plane travelling overhead or the sound of rain even when there wasnt any.*

Today i cant seem to muster the courage to get a girlfriend for fear of not performing sexually or not knowing what to do with one. I still fear the devil occasionally and im worried about what others think about me. Im worried about killing myself from smoking or drinkin or that a doctor will say im untreatable and will have to go to hospital.

Whats wrong with me? I havnt been to my GP because im too scared and embarressed. I need your help, i dont know if this is anxiety or what.
 
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philmriv

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2009
Messages
52
Location
Hawaii
What you are describing is "Social Anxiety" (a specific kind of anxiety that comes up in social situations).

I have it too-- There is a really good Wikipedia article on 'Social Anxiety'.

It is also sometimes called "Social Phobia"

Hang in there and keep seeking help-- it is possible to get better!
 
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ucanhumpmyleg

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
9
yeh sounds like anxiety, i would suggest you see your gp even if its hard you will feel better for it =] ask a friend to go with you (y)
 
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lespaulman01

Active member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
31
Location
England, UK
Ok thanks for your replies. Im still very nervous about telling anyone about this but i will update you with my progress. Thanks :)
 
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philmriv

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2009
Messages
52
Location
Hawaii
You are welcome! I have it too, so I understand how it can be!

There is a lot of hope though, Social Anxiety is a problem that can be overcome-- for example, mine is mostly better now- I went to Social Anxiety Anonymous support groups (they have free groups by phone and also locally in some places), it helped me a lot! http://www.healsocialanxiety.com

They are a nonprofit. Hang in there, best of luck!

Ok thanks for your replies. Im still very nervous about telling anyone about this but i will update you with my progress. Thanks :)
 
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lespaulman01

Active member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
31
Location
England, UK
Ok i thought id update you. Still havnt been doctors. I dont know why i just can't seem to be able to. In the evenings before bed i usually think "ok after work ill go doctors tomorrow" but in the mornins and days i jus cant muster the courage. Think im sufferin from depression now cus i dont seem to be enjoyin things at the moment and the thought of facing work everyday fills me with horrible dread feelings, id rather be at home and i think my manager is pickin up on this. Im in a rock band and im losin enthusiasm for that too. Is it really social anxiety though? I dont mind playin onstage infront of a lot of people infact i really enjoy it if its goin well, although i do get over critical of my playing and get depressed on stage if i make a mistake.
 
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philmriv

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2009
Messages
52
Location
Hawaii
I meant MediTation, not MeDication

I meant MediTation, not MediCation.

I was saying that MediTation can make a huge difference in overcoming social anxiety problems.

I am not saying that all MediCation is bad (but some MediCations that are routinely given for Social Anxiety are terrible. You really can not 100% trust Doctors or the pharmaceutical industry on this, it's kind of a corrupt system.

You especially want to AVOID any medication in the benzodiazapine family (including Xanax). Xanax works short-term-- but can cause terrible problems if taken long term.

Here is a good resource on why all benzodiazapines should be avoided-- http://www.benzo.org.uk/

On the other hand, MediTation can be a huge help in overcoming social anxiety problems (See post two posts above this post for article link).






Ok i thought id update you. Still havnt been doctors. I dont know why i just can't seem to be able to. In the evenings before bed i usually think "ok after work ill go doctors tomorrow" but in the mornins and days i jus cant muster the courage. Think im sufferin from depression now cus i dont seem to be enjoyin things at the moment and the thought of facing work everyday fills me with horrible dread feelings, id rather be at home and i think my manager is pickin up on this. Im in a rock band and im losin enthusiasm for that too. Is it really social anxiety though? I dont mind playin onstage infront of a lot of people infact i really enjoy it if its goin well, although i do get over critical of my playing and get depressed on stage if i make a mistake.
 
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lespaulman01

Active member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
31
Location
England, UK
Cheers for all your replies :) read thru the symptoms of social anxiety and it definatly applies to me. I will definately look into meditation and im going to try slowly facing my fears. I have bought a big book on anxiety treatment selp help and im goin to give it a go. If self help doesnt work ill try professional. Cheers for ur help guys!
 
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lespaulman01

Active member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
31
Location
England, UK
Hey guys sorry its been a long time. Ok i went to my gp a couple of months ago and he wants to refer me to a therapist to start cbt training and other forms of therapy. For the moment im on propranolol 20mg three times daily which stops me feeling anxious but i still get the thoughts (kinda knew that would be the case anyway). Still managing to keep my job even with the depression and bad lethargy i get from that but im coping. Hopefully ill recover, whats the average recovery rate and length of time to recover for SA? I know it depends on person but any rough ideas would be good. Thanks for all your help, if i hadnt posted on here i would never had researched sa, got some cbt books and gone to my gp (which was impossible for me 12 months earlier) thanks and ill keep you updated with progress.
 
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