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Is this anxiety? Depression? Something else?

S

Swobble

New member
Joined
Oct 11, 2018
Messages
1
Hi,

for a couple of months now I have episodes of weird mental states. They've been very spread out in the beginning but now they're almost daily and sometimes don't go away fully. I'ts hard for me to explain it when I'm feeling ok but here is something I wrote earlier while I was in one of those episodes:

I'm feeling strange. I really don't know how to describe it but I'll try. I feel like being on drugs or spaced out and there seems to be a lag between my mind and my surroundings. Sometimes I have to move my body to notice that it's there. I feel kind of floaty and like I'd lose my balance but I don't actually fall or have to hold on to something. Everything seems hazy and just weird. It come kind of in episodes but they last very long. Like half a day to 2 days. It's also there when I'm sleeping. And it seems freakier when I'm sleeping because I never feel like I'm sleeping. I'm just floating in bed and have very vivid thoughts/dreams but I always know that I'm dreaming and I never have anything I'd consider real sleep or relaxing sleep. I'm not looking foreword to sleeping because it doesn't feel like it used to and it freaks me out. I don't have any panic symptoms though, no fast heartbeat or nausea or panic feeling. I'm calm. Just very spaced out and I don't know whats happening to me. I don't really have any appetite so I started recording what I eat every day to make sure I'm eating enough. It's not that I can't eat food, I'll eat and enjoy it but I'm not inclined to eat or get hungry. Even though I eat enough I'm about 5kg below my normal weight of 60kg at the moment. There is just absolutely NO clarity in my mind and all I can do is sit. Watching tv doesn't really feel good because I can't concentrate on it and sometimes I catch myself staring at a wall while the tv is running and and I have to make myself look back towards the tv. Going outside for a walk doesn't really help. Sometimes I feel clearer after being outside for a while but it doesn't matter how long I was outside, once I get back home I'm starting to feel very strange again. I also get some physical symptoms, like my fingers hurt most days and then some random pains in the head, back and chest but nothing constant so that could just have no reason. While being in that state I also forget a lot of things that I wanted to do or have to do. It's really weird and I just wrote whatever came to mind :)

So, this is what I'm dealing with. The worst are the nights. Every night. I know what's gonna happen to me and trying to make me tired doesn't work either. Yesterday I hiked on a mountain for 2h but that didn't make me sleep better.

Now it's almost bedtime again and I don't know who to talk to anymore.

Anyone that can relate in any way??

Thanks
 
Crusaderoflife

Crusaderoflife

New member
Joined
Oct 11, 2018
Messages
3
Location
Cheshire
Hi

Hello, i too feel this spaced out feeling sometimes too, it kinds of feels like everything has slowed down around you and you can't feel yourself. Also when you speak does it feel echoey? Sometimes it comes and go's in small time inetervals and sometimes it lasts days, i feel mine come on in work more than at home as i very disinterested in my job and the people i work with, to be honest i am disinterested in life in general. Things i once loved i have no feelings for, i have no drive in me to do things in day to day life and my appearance has taken a dive to, maybe all these things are linked?
 
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