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Is this a form of OCD? Projection on to loves ones?

F

Frangipanies79

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Sweden
Hi!

I’m Mi. A 40 year old woman with a husband and two kids.

Always been a worrying soul since I was a kid. No severe compulsive behaviours except that I HAD to pray to God before I fell asleep, when I was around 10-13. Or else...

On and off I had some intrusive thoughts that I just had sittning in my mind, to scared to tell anyone about.

When I was a teenager and started dating I got really bad jealousy attacks with each and every boyfriend I had. It has ruined all my relationships ever since, except for the last few years of my now marriage (the first years were horrible though and I can’t see why my husband didn’t leave me 🤔?).

I also, with at least four relationships, have followed the same pattern of suspecting them for (always looking for signs of them) being: gay, pedophiles, rapists, and at one time; a murderer...

At a few times I have had intrusive thoughts of being some of these things myself, but my main issue, always, and now, I would say is suspecting my husband of things like this - and also worrying that my children will turn in to molestors when they grow up.

And I feel it’s my responsiblity to discover and try to stop these horrible things from happening, so I am constantly looking for signs - watching my husband around our kids, around other kids and around guys, and watching our kids around other kids - to make sure I don’t miss anything.

And of course I constantly ”find” sublime stuff worth going over and over in my head, preventing me from enjoying my family and love 😢

When my first child was born, I went to therapy and was diagnosed with GAD, but I still feel this is something else.

It copies OCD in many ways I think. But since I don’t do any typical compulsive actions it doesn’t seem to count as OCD?

And also, I haven’t heard of anyone else’s POCD and HOCD, aiming towards another person?

I find nothing about it on Google, and feel so alone.

Obviously there is something wrong with me. But what?

/Mi

ps. Looking at me I probably appear to be a well-functioning, calm, happy person. But on the inside I am a WRECK!
 
K

Knots O

New member
Joined
May 18, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Australia
Sounds like OCD to me. OCD sufferers Obsess over there worst fears, or over things that get an anxiety responce. The Subject matter is different for every sufferer, what is distressing to you, is most likely not an issue for other sufferers, and vice versa.
There are common themes ofcourse, but even they have there nuonses, that make you feel like it doesnt fit into typical OCD catagorys.
I suggest you seek profesional help, even better if they are an Anxiety or OCD specialist.
Hope this helps
 
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