• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Is there really anything that can be done for loneliness?

Davey Blueeyes

Davey Blueeyes

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2013
Messages
756
Location
Isle of Wight
I have realised and learning to accept that the crippling thing in my life is my loneliness.

I have had people in my life, they don't always stick around for very long. I still have people around me to an extent but why do I find myself so fundamentally lonely? The worst bit is that I can't see a way to change it in the fundamental way it needs to?

I hate to think that at the age of 42 i'm just now waiting to die :low:
 
SarahD

SarahD

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
2,095
Location
UK
Hi Davey

Don't have any answers. Loneliness is an awful feeling. For me it's linked to depression, when one is bad so is the other. I have people important to me I am close to. But I spend a lot of time alone - and I used to really value having time to myself, whereas now I often just feel lonely.

I am sure you know you have to seek out people and activities where you meet people, but it is hard. It is hard to find someone you really connect with.

Know how you feel. Wishing you well

Sarah
 
L

lovagemuffin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
640
learn to enjoy your time with yourself make it as fun as you can hav dvd nights with poprcorn my way through my loneliness is cooking its a creative outlet and some things take AGES to make hobbies and interests can be anything you like.
I bought myself an a4 diary and am going to write in it after new year.
aren't we all really waiting to die I am but I cook a fantastic curry LOL
 
rubyrose

rubyrose

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2013
Messages
1,323
Location
Where flowers bloom
Awww, I'm sorry. Not quite sure what to say. I'm very familiar with loneliness too. I know building relationships with people can alleviate that, but...I'm crap at building relationships. Initial interest people take in me tends to fade rather quickly as a result of my general f*ckedupness, and they just don't want to be bothered anymore. Somehow I always ruin things even when I try my best not to screw things up. Sorry if this is not helping and I'm certainly not trying to make you feel worse. Hopefully there is some comfort in knowing I can understand and relate. I dunno...I just want you to be happy, man. :hug1:
 
V

volnash

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
Not quite sure what to say either, but i like you davey, atleast take that to heart.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
It's just so difficult.:hug:

To be alone means to be "safe" from being hurt from other people, but to be alone also means to be incredibly lonely... what to do? It's the dilemma of my adult life.

Do you think you've got 'walls' up to prevent people from being close? Or is it something else, like the lack of opportunities to meet people?
 
Davey Blueeyes

Davey Blueeyes

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2013
Messages
756
Location
Isle of Wight
It's just so difficult.:hug:

To be alone means to be "safe" from being hurt from other people, but to be alone also means to be incredibly lonely... what to do? It's the dilemma of my adult life.

Do you think you've got 'walls' up to prevent people from being close? Or is it something else, like the lack of opportunities to meet people?
Definitely column A. Anyone that shows any interest in me (on any basis) I tend to immediately distrust which is basically a self loathing thing, i.e. if they like me they must be bonkers! I just don't know anymore but I am starting to realise that I don't want to spend any more of my life so lonely, i'm done with that crap and I have to make myself emotionally vulnerable at some level?

My psychiatrist calls it 'intimacy issues!'

Thank you all, anyway
Davey x
 
D

Deliah

Guest
Hey Blue Eyes, you're beautiful! You just need to learn it for yourself. You have been the one who has made me laugh most frequently on this forum. I used to have a belief about myself that I wasn't good enough. I changed things by telling myself different things and learning to love me. Over time the world started to look a less fearful place to me and other people no longer appeared threatening. Now, when I leave my home I nearly always have a conversation with a stranger or a neighbour. I haven't any friends yet near by and for the most part my therapist is the main person that I talk with but my world is opening up. You gotta give yourself some lurve. You have a great deal to offer the world. Your humour is fabulous! Just a thought, people for the most part are drawn to what they like. I think the people who are drawn to you like you. D xxxxx
 
Davey Blueeyes

Davey Blueeyes

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2013
Messages
756
Location
Isle of Wight
Hey Blue Eyes, you're beautiful! You just need to learn it for yourself. You have been the one who has made me laugh most frequently on this forum. I used to have a belief about myself that I wasn't good enough. I changed things by telling myself different things and learning to love me. Over time the world started to look a less fearful place to me and other people no longer appeared threatening. Now, when I leave my home I nearly always have a conversation with a stranger or a neighbour. I haven't any friends yet near by and for the most part my therapist is the main person that I talk with but my world is opening up. You gotta give yourself some lurve. You have a great deal to offer the world. Your humour is fabulous! Just a thought, people for the most part are drawn to what they like. I think the people who are drawn to you like you. D xxxxx
Oh Deliah, thank you so much
Davey x
 
M

Mastiff mom

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 22, 2014
Messages
1,157
Location
Washington,DC
Aww davey I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I feel lonely a lot, too. You're not alone. I bet a lot of people feel lonely. They just put on happy faces and feel alone in privacy. I have a hard time making friends. I'm glad you're my friend.
 
Q

Quickduck

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 24, 2014
Messages
2,278
Location
No longer posting
I also know what it's like to feel lonely...
Lonely even when your surounded by people because it feels that no one can relate.
And even when I find someone who can relate and friend or whatever, I always manage to scare them away by getting too clingy or saying something stupid.
You're not alone mate. :hug:
 
A

Alienated

Guest
I have lived in isolation for 8 years, and ..

I have gone forth into the wilderness alone, and survived the ravaging of the predators in the Simi-Exsisting remnants of what we belived to be humanity.

Only to return to my Den of Solitude and scream out loud.

Screw that shit, don't do that again !!
 
Q

Quickduck

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 24, 2014
Messages
2,278
Location
No longer posting
I have lived in isolation for 8 years, and ..

I have gone forth into the wilderness alone, and survived the ravaging of the predators in the Simi-Exsisting remnants of what we belived to be humanity.

Only to return to my Den of Solitude and scream out loud.

Screw that shit, don't do that again !!
I must admit your perspective has a certain appeal. I spent a long time on my own and was lonely, but think perhaps that loneliness is sometimes easier to deal with than the rejection and upset of failed friendship.
 
Stripeysocks

Stripeysocks

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2013
Messages
515
Location
UK
Davey!!!
Look how loved you are here. I hope that's a comfort of sorts. I know exactly what you meant when you say you feel like if anyone likes you etc then they must be something really wrong with them. I feel exactly that. Why would anyone want anything to do with me? I had never thought of it like that but you're right - it is self loathing. It's not easy but we need to somehow break through that and learn to trust others and feel worth something. Answers on a postcard!!
I'm so glad you are my friend :dance:
You make me laugh, you make me smile, you dear Davey are so worthwhile!!
Love Stripey x x x
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
Soul_Deeps I don't know, I can't really see anything that is worth living for. Mental Health Experiences 6
L Can past experiences really trigger new anxiety?? Mental Health Experiences 2
calmleaves i really wish i could just be really vulnerable to someone Mental Health Experiences 43
Lilly776 feeling really bad any help please Mental Health Experiences 1
P Really struggling Mental Health Experiences 4
Marigold Dip Third week of no CBT and finding things really difficult Mental Health Experiences 5
B I have realised that I don't really understand the majority of people Mental Health Experiences 11
Hello513 I am getting really sick of people who lack self awareness. Mental Health Experiences 4
Ineedhelp2921 Really bad chest pains Mental Health Experiences 5
Dav Really depressed at the moment Mental Health Experiences 52
L My intrusive thoughts are getting really bad again Mental Health Experiences 1
L I'm Really Upset Mental Health Experiences 5
L I did a really stupid thing Mental Health Experiences 8
L I feel really hurt... Mental Health Experiences 17
L DO PEOPLE ON HERE REALLY CARE? Mental Health Experiences 41
N I am really depressed & don't want to live. My parents have disabled certain websites from my laptop based on keywor. So, i can't easily access help. Mental Health Experiences 7
F I really hate myself. Mental Health Experiences 13
Ineedhelp2921 I'm really hurt Mental Health Experiences 7
O Do I have high end autism or am I just really emotional due to something I know about? Mental Health Experiences 4
D I really hate my mom Mental Health Experiences 5
L Having a really hard time - Advice on getting over someone? Mental Health Experiences 15
Bluejay7500 I’m really hard at taking Mental Health Experiences 15
hORIzonFINK210 So what really helps? Mental Health Experiences 3
elliepaige20 Having a really hard time - Heartbroken & devastated Mental Health Experiences 16
A Work lied and making me really depressed Mental Health Experiences 8
R Not really sure what to do right now Mental Health Experiences 7
A Really struggling to get on with people... Mental Health Experiences 4
H Dont really know what to do Mental Health Experiences 9
K I really need to talk Mental Health Experiences 35
N Medication changed, lowered, and now I get scared really easy Mental Health Experiences 5
Eleison I'm really not ok Mental Health Experiences 7
Newstartformetoday Is it really that bad to sometimes feel Sad Mental Health Experiences 1
B Do I really have the right? Mental Health Experiences 1
S Do normal people really act like this? Mental Health Experiences 5
elliepaige20 Certain person I really don't want to see... Mental Health Experiences 8
C Really confused...There are people inside my head Mental Health Experiences 4
LouisaMogs I’m really not good today. Mental Health Experiences 5
C I’m really scared and I don’t know what to do? Mental Health Experiences 7
danielgain Life is really getting me down Mental Health Experiences 5
M That really bad never-ending flu Mental Health Experiences 1
aspieguy1984 Ive been really struggling lately.... Mental Health Experiences 2
M ECT is really helping Mental Health Experiences 3
GhostRagdoll I'm not sure what's really wrong Mental Health Experiences 1
B I'm really scared Mental Health Experiences 2
U need help, having a really hard time right now Mental Health Experiences 3
C I still really dont have any help Mental Health Experiences 1
M Really need to find a vent. So lost and detatched. Mental Health Experiences 3
Not_Crazy_Yet When did you first realize you really were thru the looking Glass? Mental Health Experiences 14
Shana09 What is going on with me, am I just a really bad person? Mental Health Experiences 5
E In a really dark place. Mental Health Experiences 10

Similar threads

Top