Is there anything wrong with me?

[CK87]

I've been trying to figure out if this was a major problem, or possibly many small problems. If there was even a name for what any of these issues are, I'm not sure.

First of all I'm very indecisive to the point where I try to have everyone make decisions for me. Someone asks where I want to go. I always say you decide. You would have to fight me to make any decision whatsoever. That's not to say I wont say no to a place but then again there is very little I will say no to unless I'm extremely opposed to it.

Also I tend to second guess myself and everyone else constantly. I'm always constantly thinking about how something in the future will possibly play out. I admit to spending lots of time walking thinking about making posts online like this. Sometimes Ill make up events and act them out in my mind. I've pretended that I went to a psychologist telling them I had previously pretended that I was walking down the street pretending that I was talking to a psychologist about.... and so on. I think of circular events like that often.

Compounding all of these together, sometimes when I'm being indecisive about a question Ill act out all the scenarios that will come out from the options I have in my head. On top of that I can completely contradict myself. I'll think well I hate this idea but on the other hand its not such a bad idea which can make it hard to choose. Occasionally I'll have long discussions with someone and my opinion on one thing may change from when I started and they will tell me that I've contradicted myself on small details from earlier.

I know this leads to me having anxiety socially. I know I can't realistically predict everything that will come up in conversations. Sometimes It seems I just run out of things to say. Its like I'm having problems grabbing thoughts in real time. I don't really bring up a conversation unless its a person I'm really comfortable with. If its someone I don't know well I usually end up looking like a idiot. I need to know them really well to feel comfortable enough to have a real conversation.

Also I use to get intense panic attacks for no reason. I'd be sitting down watching TV and I'd start feeling weird. Next thing I know my heart is racing and I'm hyperventilating, completely freaking out. I don't get them anymore, but I've come close. I seemed to be able to calm myself. Never did figure out why though. I don't know if It had anything to do with my other problems but I figured I'd throw it out there.

Oh and as I finish this I'll tell you I've been making up replies to this post in my head word for word from imaginary people with all different opinions. I also thought about the possibility of not getting any replies. I think I may think too much

 

[chuchunezbee]

Hi CK87, firstly I just want to ask have you tried to get any medical help yet? If not the first thing I would suggest is talking to your GP and getting them to make the necessary appointments. Identifying any potential problem you may or may not have is important. Please don’t think I am pushing you aside, I simply don’t feel I am educated enough to give you solid advice. That’s not to say I haven’t done my home work, it’s to say I am not a doctor. Sorry I can’t be much more help then that. Hope you get things sorted!