is there a term for this? or any ways to stop doing it?

[mortimergoth23]

hi, i'm new to this so i apologise if i do anything wrong here.
i have an issue where my mind will constantly tell me i'm faking things. i'm not sure if there's a term for it, but essentially i will think something and then my brain will tell me "you don't actually think that" or something along those lines, and then i feel i need to convince myself to believe something when i did believe it beforehand. another example is i will laugh at something and my mind will tell me "you didn't actually find that funny". the closest i can describe it is maybe self-gaslighting? but i'm not sure that term fits. has anyone else dealt with this? is there a term for it? do you have any tips on how to make it stop happening?

 

[bpd2020]

Hello and welcome to the forum. It must be very distressing to always question your thoughts. I do not have any tips but I just wanted to welcome you.

 

[Scapes1986]

I feel my mind altering because of a medication change. I have similar symptoms. Not sure what gas lighting is? And how you can brain wash yourself? Thought it would involve a third party. But I get ya... you feel self sabotage.

 

[FlowerBox]

I've struggled with this most of my life and sometime still do but I am improving...I don't know if there is a term for it but self-gaslighting really fits...
I find for me it is connected to my history of severe insecurity and needing "confirmation" from other people, like let's say I want to paint. I sometimes have trouble feeling I was "really" creative or genuine when I painted it, until someone else sees it and says it's creative or interesting or cool or whatever. Even if I was initially proud of it or happy with it, it doesn't take long for me to start questioning if I "really" was genuine when I made it.
For me I feel it stems from insecurity and not trusting my intuition. As I've worked on trusting myself..I have seen this almost disappear

I also think for me it comes from not feeling some emotions in the "normal" way, maybe it's not connected at all but I am just thinking out loud here. Like, I have a problem with always feeling like I am being watched/recorded/whatever, but I don't seem or feel as distressed as I probably "should" feel, I just experience anxiety and other emotions very differently/not "fully" so that leads me to question myself a lot "do you really believe this?"
It doesn't help that I had a therapist before tell me "you don't really believe that" when I said I was scared I was being stalked! That wasn't the cause of the second-guessing but it sure did amplify it for a long time!

I guess my advice, if it can even be called that, is to practice finalizing the decision or accepting the feeling. I did this a lot with music.. because I used to have a lot of trouble thinking "do I really like this music?" And it was a good starting point for me to just be like okay yes yes I do really like this music, I love it! I love bad music sometimes too! And I don't careeeee I like what I like, I am inspired by what I am inspired by, I am intrigued by what I am intrigued by, you know? I also am not usually one for affirmations really but I would always say "I trust" when I did yoga, meaning I trust myself.
Whatever I am feeling, I trust that it's there and I'm not "faking it"

 

[Zero One]

hi, i'm new to this so i apologise if i do anything wrong here.
i have an issue where my mind will constantly tell me i'm faking things. i'm not sure if there's a term for it, but essentially i will think something and then my brain will tell me "you don't actually think that" or something along those lines, and then i feel i need to convince myself to believe something when i did believe it beforehand. another example is i will laugh at something and my mind will tell me "you didn't actually find that funny". the closest i can describe it is maybe self-gaslighting? but i'm not sure that term fits. has anyone else dealt with this? is there a term for it? do you have any tips on how to make it stop happening?

I'm dealing with a lot of this today. I don't know the term for this but there must be one. Geodon works to stop that but my psychosis was coming back on Geodon so they put me on Seroquel.

 

[Zero One]

I feel my mind altering because of a medication change. I have similar symptoms. Not sure what gas lighting is? And how you can brain wash yourself? Thought it would involve a third party. But I get ya... you feel self sabotage.

Got this from Healthline

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that’s seen in abusive relationships. It’s the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them. A victim of gaslighting can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity.

i had a psychiatrist do this to me once I guess just to see how psychotic I get, I started having hallucinations immediately. The voices I have call it an illusion not a hallucination...and that might be gaslighting right there. They often make these abstract intellectual jokes.

 

[Scapes1986]

Sounds nasty to do to someone. Also sounds like someone would have to be mentally ill to do this.

 

[Zero One]

Sounds nasty to do to someone. Also sounds like someone would have to be mentally ill to do this.

I agree with you.

 

[Scapes1986]

Gas lighting is a funny word but not funny to do... catchy little bit. I feel like this has been done a lot in my town. Since I went to private school my old classmates are no longer in my life but maybe they are thinking of me like this... right.

 

[FlowerBox]

Er.....I think maybe I rambled too much

 

[mortimergoth23]

I've struggled with this most of my life and sometime still do but I am improving...I don't know if there is a term for it but self-gaslighting really fits...
I find for me it is connected to my history of severe insecurity and needing "confirmation" from other people, like let's say I want to paint. I sometimes have trouble feeling I was "really" creative or genuine when I painted it, until someone else sees it and says it's creative or interesting or cool or whatever. Even if I was initially proud of it or happy with it, it doesn't take long for me to start questioning if I "really" was genuine when I made it.
For me I feel it stems from insecurity and not trusting my intuition. As I've worked on trusting myself..I have seen this almost disappear

I also think for me it comes from not feeling some emotions in the "normal" way, maybe it's not connected at all but I am just thinking out loud here. Like, I have a problem with always feeling like I am being watched/recorded/whatever, but I don't seem or feel as distressed as I probably "should" feel, I just experience anxiety and other emotions very differently/not "fully" so that leads me to question myself a lot "do you really believe this?"
It doesn't help that I had a therapist before tell me "you don't really believe that" when I said I was scared I was being stalked! That wasn't the cause of the second-guessing but it sure did amplify it for a long time!

I guess my advice, if it can even be called that, is to practice finalizing the decision or accepting the feeling. I did this a lot with music.. because I used to have a lot of trouble thinking "do I really like this music?" And it was a good starting point for me to just be like okay yes yes I do really like this music, I love it! I love bad music sometimes too! And I don't careeeee I like what I like, I am inspired by what I am inspired by, I am intrigued by what I am intrigued by, you know? I also am not usually one for affirmations really but I would always say "I trust" when I did yoga, meaning I trust myself.
Whatever I am feeling, I trust that it's there and I'm not "faking it"

you should look into imposter syndrome. that sounds a lot like what you're experiencing