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Is the emotional flatness from risperidone ?

ms.elle

ms.elle

Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2018
Messages
10
Everything began to feel strange back in april, when I fell into a really deep depression for about a month. I've had depression most of my life, but this one month felt stronger than ever and I broke down to my very core about my self esteem issues. I stopped going to my classes, I wouldn't respond to friends messages for days on end, and I'd have breakdowns every so often. May comes, and everything is looking up, and life is back to normal, although a bit hectic.

In the middle of may, without any particular trigger,I experienced my first psychotic episode. A few months prior I had fallen in love with a guy, and though having no contact with him during may, I thought he and I were meant to save the world, and I started having conversations with him in my head. A lot of other psychotic thoughts came subsequently after wards regarding god, angels and demons and the like, and I spent a week in the hospital where I was given 3mg of risperidone, later changed to 4mg for no apparent reason.

I was out to a party after the hospital, and I stood paralyzed as I realized I felt no joy in dancing anymore. After the hospital, when I came back to reality, life felt unusually dull and disconnected. I'm feeling incredibly hopeless as i realize that I don't have any emotions or motivation after the event. Whenever I think about my lack of emotions, I get a quell of panic because it's so unbearable. I haven't done anything for two whole months aside from obsessively reading about emotional numbness and anhedonia, and crying-which I'm surprised i'm capable of considering how dull I feel.

I don't want to hang out with my friends, I don't want to make art like I used to. Nothing gives me pleasure or sadness or even boredom. I feel less than human. I try watching tv, going out for walks, going out with friends, but all there is is frustration at my lack of emotion. I've never experienced anything like it, as before even with my depression i felt capable in my daily activities.

I've concluded that it's possibly the medication that's caused in me this horrible emotional flatness, since there isn't really any reason for me to feel depressed after the psychosis or to have negative symptoms. it also got much more pronounced after i went from 3mg to 4mg, but perhaps this is something I'm telling myself in order to feel any sort of hope that i'll go back to normal.

It feels so incredibly hopeless.
It feels as though life will never look up the way I want it to.
It feels as though I've lost all sense of personality and skills.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this? I'm not sure why i even wrote this as nothing can make me feel better, but it would feel endlessly nicer perhaps knowing if someone could relate.
Do I have any hope of getting myself back?

I've had it to my wits end with this horrible side effect, and I just want my motivation and emotional intensity back. I've gotten to a point where I'd take crippling depression again instead of this horrible lack of any emotion.
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
I hate the lack of emotion feeling. I was working on a book and got 9 chapters written. Then depression hit me worse. Now I feel numb to my book. I can't work on it anymore. I haven't worked on it since last December. I hope that you and I can get our lives back. Seems hopeless to me. :cry:
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 6, 2017
Messages
812
I felt like that when I was on risperidone. I felt dead inside, and I had no motivation to do anything. I guess they are called negative symptoms, but I didn't know if it was caused by the risperidone or if I would be like that anyway if I didn't take any antipsychotic. Eventually my medication was changed to Geodon(ziprasidone). After this I still don't feel much emotions except anxiety. I still feel no pleasure from anything. But I do have more energy and motivation to get things done. Many home projects that had been piling up for the previous 7 years....I finally got the willpower to get them done.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Sep 29, 2013
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I remember that feeling, it was not fun. It improved for me on a lower dose of 2 mg of risperidone, and got better still when I switched to Orap. It’s still not perfect though, I have some emotions, mostly sadness, anxiety, but I still have a lack of motivation, often I feel like an empty shell these days.
 
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T

Tonic

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apathy is one of the noted symptoms of risperidone in the NICE website.
 
A

AK

Active member
Joined
Jul 14, 2018
Messages
38
How did you feel in your episode?

Did you maybe feel emotionally flat because no one knew what was going on? Thats how I was In the hospital. The medicine should just give a calm/tired effect and stabilize your mood(s). .. The illness probably isnt cured, so you may be missing something along those lines.. But, If I were to ask you, how would you feel about say someone decided to give you a ton of money, like enough to not have to worry about anything for the rest of your life! ? How would you feel about them?
 
A

AK

Active member
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Jul 14, 2018
Messages
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Risperdal has the tendency, or alot of risperdal, has the tendency to slow people down and make them gain weight. When I was on that, I felt less happy because it threw my moods off, I was all fat and doped up.
 
ms.elle

ms.elle

Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2018
Messages
10
Im sorry to hear that. Honestly, I'd take feeling sad and anxious over not feeling at all. By any chance, have you gotten more emotions back? To be honest I haven't felt like myself these past 3 months-almost like there's a shift in my mental state, and I'm desperately trying to find anyone who relates.
 
M

Melon

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Feb 26, 2018
Messages
22
Hi, I felt really flat for months after my last psychotic episode. I’m on Abilify. The feeling eventually lifted but it was terrible to go through. I thought it would never end.

The best thing you can do is speak to your doctor about this and see If they can offer help and advice. Hope you have access to a good psychiatrist.
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
Hi, I felt really flat for months after my last psychotic episode. I’m on Abilify. The feeling eventually lifted but it was terrible to go through. I thought it would never end.

The best thing you can do is speak to your doctor about this and see If they can offer help and advice. Hope you have access to a good psychiatrist.
A good psychiatrist is very rare. :nod2:
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
I know. Unfortunately.
It's like these days they don't really wanna help their suffering patients anymore. They just wanna push drugs and get paid for it. They lie and say their patients are better so they don't seem incompetent. Then if their patient is on benefits they get them taken away and their patient is screwed. :nod2:
 
ms.elle

ms.elle

Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2018
Messages
10
Hi, I felt really flat for months after my last psychotic episode. I’m on Abilify. The feeling eventually lifted but it was terrible to go through. I thought it would never end.

The best thing you can do is speak to your doctor about this and see If they can offer help and advice. Hope you have access to a good psychiatrist.
Oh, I'm so glad it lifted for you!! If you don't mind me asking, do you feel you went back to your normal self after these feelings lifted? Id love to discuss more with you about your experience because I'm quite hopeless at the moment.
 
M

Melon

Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2018
Messages
22
Oh, I'm so glad it lifted for you!! If you don't mind me asking, do you feel you went back to your normal self after these feelings lifted? Id love to discuss more with you about your experience because I'm quite hopeless at the moment.
Hi there,

After a while I really felt so much better and settled into feeling like my normal self. I had a lot of support from my psychiatrist who kept reassuring me that things would get better and that really helped because I couldn’t see a way forward. It’s apparently very common to feel really down after a psychotic episode.

So I felt really well for about seven months and that was really lovely. I’m still learning a lot about how to manage the illness and I’ve had to dial up my coping skills at the moment and with some help from people on the forum too. Don’t let that make you lose heart, things are still a hell of a lot better for me than from the last time I was really sick and I’m still grateful for where I’m at.

I hope you are coping. Remember to keep on top of the docs if you think you need drug tweaks. Keep track of how you feel and make sure you work with your doc on any changes you want to make.

Feel free to ask me anything!

Melon
 
ms.elle

ms.elle

Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2018
Messages
10
Hi there,

After a while I really felt so much better and settled into feeling like my normal self. I had a lot of support from my psychiatrist who kept reassuring me that things would get better and that really helped because I couldn’t see a way forward. It’s apparently very common to feel really down after a psychotic episode.

So I felt really well for about seven months and that was really lovely. I’m still learning a lot about how to manage the illness and I’ve had to dial up my coping skills at the moment and with some help from people on the forum too. Don’t let that make you lose heart, things are still a hell of a lot better for me than from the last time I was really sick and I’m still grateful for where I’m at.

I hope you are coping. Remember to keep on top of the docs if you think you need drug tweaks. Keep track of how you feel and make sure you work with your doc on any changes you want to make.

Feel free to ask me anything!

Melon
Oh this makes me so happy to hear! Happy to hear that there is a way out of this, and happy to hear you yourself are feeling good and like your normal self!
To be honest, I haven't felt like myself at all in the past 3 months and it feels like it's never going to end. Everything feels so dull and void, but I'm trying to have hope. Right now my biggest sadness is the fact that I can't socialize the way I used to. Did you have a problem with this as well? Do you find your ability to socialize has returned to normal? Did you feel any joy when you were flat?
Also did you do anything during the time you felt flat to help lift your mood? How exactly did you feel when you were flat? Is it like I described on the first post?

Phew, sorry! I really don't mean to pry with so many questions, I'm just intensely curious to see how somebody has come out of the other end of this. Feel free to not answer anything you don't want to, haha. I'm aware they're really long questions.

I really appreciate your replies!
 
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