J
Jewely
New member
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2009
- Messages
- 4
I've looked around some parenting forums but don't feel I belong there.
My story:
I foster children under five, short term only, have done for 10 years.
I had three little kids for two years, the youngest was two and a half when I was told they were leaving to go to long term caregivers.
All good. But instead of a normal transfer that can take weeks so that I can slowly withdraw and the new parents can come in and bond it was done in two days. This was at the beginning of February this year.
The day they left the youngest little girl was clinging to me screaming no no no and terrified of going anywhere with strangers.
I was left shaking and sobbing in the gutter and since then have felt an overwhelming regret. Maybe I should have held on to her? Demanded she not go like this?
I can't look at things she played with and keep crying if I think of her for too long.
I feel panic, she is still out there and I have no right to contact her. Of course if I did she would be upset, if I wait until she forgets me what would be the point.
My panic is that the new parents would not stop and listen to what a cautious wee girl she was, no one would listen. I don't believe they cared about the kids or saw them as individuals or even as important.
I feel guilt, panic, regret, grief. Do I have something wrong with me or is this exactly what I should be feeling? When will it stop?
My story:
I foster children under five, short term only, have done for 10 years.
I had three little kids for two years, the youngest was two and a half when I was told they were leaving to go to long term caregivers.
All good. But instead of a normal transfer that can take weeks so that I can slowly withdraw and the new parents can come in and bond it was done in two days. This was at the beginning of February this year.
The day they left the youngest little girl was clinging to me screaming no no no and terrified of going anywhere with strangers.
I was left shaking and sobbing in the gutter and since then have felt an overwhelming regret. Maybe I should have held on to her? Demanded she not go like this?
I can't look at things she played with and keep crying if I think of her for too long.
I feel panic, she is still out there and I have no right to contact her. Of course if I did she would be upset, if I wait until she forgets me what would be the point.
My panic is that the new parents would not stop and listen to what a cautious wee girl she was, no one would listen. I don't believe they cared about the kids or saw them as individuals or even as important.
I feel guilt, panic, regret, grief. Do I have something wrong with me or is this exactly what I should be feeling? When will it stop?
to MHF 
