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Is shyness and insecurity a problem for you?

amathus

amathus

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Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
16,323
Location
goodness knows!
Is shyness and insecurity a problem for you?
•Are you afraid of looking stupid in social situations?
•Do you worry a lot about what others think of you?
•Do you frequently avoid social situations or cancel at the last minute?
•Do other people seem to have a lot more fun than you do in social situations?
•Do you assume it’s your fault when someone rejects you or seems uninterested?
•Is it hard for you to approach people or join in their conversations?
•After spending time with others, do you tend to dwell on and criticize your “performance”?
•Do you often feel bad about yourself after socializing?

If you answered “yes” to these questions, this article can help.

Overcoming Loneliness & Shyness: Making Friends Even if You Feel Shy or Socially Awkward

(Helpguide.org)
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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Jun 25, 2013
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13,276
before this derealisation stuff, yes all of that applied

thanks for article

maybe i can help future self
 
M

MarlieeB

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Is shyness and insecurity a problem for you?

•Are you afraid of looking stupid in social situations? YES
•Do you worry a lot about what others think of you? YES
•Do you frequently avoid social situations or cancel at the last minute? YES
•Do other people seem to have a lot more fun than you do in social situations? YES
•Do you assume it’s your fault when someone rejects you or seems uninterested? YES
•Is it hard for you to approach people or join in their conversations? YES
•After spending time with others, do you tend to dwell on and criticize your “performance”? YES
•Do you often feel bad about yourself after socializing? YES

Umm I think my answer is yes maybe? lol
 
Crystalized

Crystalized

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Apr 3, 2015
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Malaysia
Yes to all questions.

Actually I wouldn't call my issue a shyness issue but more of a SHAME issue, which manifests into different directions. I am reserved, not so much of shy, but I can seem to be very shy for others. And GUILT too. So guilt - shame -guilt -shame, very vicious cycle, which makes me a very insecure person with super low self-esteem who appears shy and aloof.
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

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Apr 14, 2015
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It used to be,
Never knew how to act,
I felt like,
I was on the outside looking in,
But,
Somehow never really knowing,
What people thought of me.
I was told I was shy,
But,
Now, I think that it was because I didn't know
How to fit in.
I got over this,
By,
Seeing people in their underwear,
And working in a major supermarket,
Where customers,
Would be talking to the uniform,
Not me,
Because,
I could be someone else,
And that really helped.
Now,
I don't care,
Not in a nasty way,
Just that at work I can be how I want,
And just have fun.
If I make a mistake,
It's not embarrassing anymore,
Just make a joke,
And carry on.
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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Apr 15, 2014
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North of England, UK
Yep, is the certain answer to all those questions.

I struggle socially, and various levels of avoidance, has been my primary way of dealing with it over the years :)
 
F

firemonkee57

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Mar 23, 2009
Messages
8,218
Yes-especially to 1,2,3,4,6 and 7.
 
T

TheRedStar

Guest
Yes to all of those questions, except the one about finding it hard to approach people or join in their conversations - that can be the case for me, but often isn't... really, it's a contextual thing rather than a global one. I'm not particularly shy as it goes, but I am very insecure.
 
pepecat

pepecat

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Jul 19, 2010
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13,794
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middle earth
•Are you afraid of looking stupid in social situations? - Sometimes

•Do you worry a lot about what others think of you? - Not a lot, but sometimes.

•Do you frequently avoid social situations or cancel at the last minute? - Yes

•Do other people seem to have a lot more fun than you do in social situations? - Yes

•Do you assume it’s your fault when someone rejects you or seems uninterested? - Sometimes

•Is it hard for you to approach people or join in their conversations? - Oh yes.

•After spending time with others, do you tend to dwell on and criticize your “performance”? - Yes, and I worry that I've said something stupid.

•Do you often feel bad about yourself after socializing? - Sometimes


I find it depends who I'm with. If I"m with good friends who know me well, then I don't tend to worry about stuff. If it's people I don't know all that well, then I worry more. Like work colleagues, for example. I'm quite happy to work with them and talk about stuff at work - even chat about personal stuff at work - but socialising outside of work I find deeply uncomfortable-making.
 
E

existence

Guest
I don't feel awkward socially it's just there's nothing there, like someone has stolen all my thoughts and conversations, purely empty, nothing there.
 
tabbykitten

tabbykitten

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cloud cuckoo land (UK)
yes to everything but not sure it is shyness - anxiety and all associated problems but not shyness
 
PureSadness

PureSadness

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Joined
Aug 17, 2015
Messages
43
Location
Norway
Yes, i am so afraid to say something wrong so i barely say anything at all. I think i have had this problem since i was around 10 i think, made it hard to get friends because of it.
 
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