• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Is relationship paranoia part of BPD? Is this me being paranoid?

  • Thread starter Sapphirepenguin9900
  • Start date
S

Sapphirepenguin9900

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 30, 2020
Messages
128
Location
U.K
So earlier this year I managed to work myself up into a right state thinking my boyfriend was talking to one of my friends online because they were coming online at the same time. This was someone who he would never be interested in but my head wouldn’t let it go. I ended up deleting that friend, and it was probably the best decision I could make (we didn’t talk anymore anyway)

Then of course a month back I start noticing it happen with another friend, this time a close one I can’t just delete. Again no reason they would talk. Then my friend goes and adds my boyfriend on Facebook so of course I’m basically dissociating at this point over it. Instantly message my friend like “Urm what’s going on?” She’s said she adds all her friends boyfriends on Facebook and she added him when the got together and he only just accepted. Sent me a screenshot of the notification and said she has no interest in him and would never do that to me. Haven’t heard from her since but then again she has never spoken to me much. I asked my boyfriend and he said she added him 2 days prior and he seemed to find it odd. So I just kinda let it go.

Now I’m worrying again because me and my boyfriend usually send memes back and forth all day on Facebook. All of a sudden he has just stopped doing this. So of course my stupid head is like “well what if he has a new account to talk to her on and he’s always logged into that now”. So that’s were I’m at, I’m becoming increasingly stressed over this and can’t even tell of this is my stupid head making stuff up anymore someone help.

I really want to ask him why he isn’t using it anymore to talk to me but I don’t want to come across clingy or babyish. I feel guilty for having these thoughts as well because I really do love him.
 
PetitPois

PetitPois

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 8, 2020
Messages
1,058
Location
Somewhere
Yeah, this is one of the worst parts of BPD to me. It's hard work trying to stop these reactions. A daily struggle often.

Sorry you are suffering with it right now, I know it is hell. Maybe explain to your boyfriend about these thoughts you can't help. It would be good if he was aware of what you go through. I know it is hard for people without BPD to understand though.
 
S

Sapphirepenguin9900

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 30, 2020
Messages
128
Location
U.K
yeah...he started talking on Facebook again this morning then stopped an hour later its just so frustrating because I keep going round in circles with my thoughts. It's like my brain only wants to believe this one thing it has come up with.
 
PetitPois

PetitPois

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 8, 2020
Messages
1,058
Location
Somewhere
I know it's mental torture. I have worked hardest on this part of my BPD because I know how damaging it can be to those closest to me. Its still there but a lot more controlled now. The biggest change for me is when I feel hurt I don't shut people out. I go through the pain and put my feelings on the table even at the risk of feeling or looking stupid. Really hard to do at times.
 
Heidrun

Heidrun

Well-known member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
124
Location
unfamiliar
yeah...he started talking on Facebook again this morning then stopped an hour later its just so frustrating because I keep going round in circles with my thoughts. It's like my brain only wants to believe this one thing it has come up with.
Wow I can relate so much to this. My mind also does this with my friends, these thoughts are so strong. Is this common with BPD then? Since I don't have that
 
S

Sapphirepenguin9900

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 30, 2020
Messages
128
Location
U.K
Im guessing its common with bpd but probably an anxiety thing as well. my boyfriends seen my message on facebook now and not responded and even came back online...of course now i think hes doing it on purpose agh im fed up.
 
Heidrun

Heidrun

Well-known member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
124
Location
unfamiliar
These thoughts are killing at the moment, and later I always regret and feel guilt. Have you tried talking about it?
 
Heidrun

Heidrun

Well-known member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
124
Location
unfamiliar
I told my friends I had these thoughts and they are really supportive. One actually helped me so much by trying to give extra information and trying to give me extra confirmation that there's nothig happeneing
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
E Insecurity, paranoia and jealousy in a relationship - need help Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 7
H I'm in a relationship with someone with BPD... Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 6
S autism <-> BPD relationship issues Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 8
G Struggling to keep my relationship stable Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 13
R Newbie - Relationship and Parenting Advice wanted Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 2
Delilah67 Advice on how to handle my relationship Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 5
H Relationship feelings Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 11
J relationship Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 5
F What are your triggers when it comes to intimate relationship? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 30
A BPD and Relationship Issues Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 10
leekeen17382 What do you do when you’re in a relationship but your partner cannot accept your bpd and shames you for showing symptoms? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 8
S Relationship Struggles Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 3
Riah3 In need of someone’s thoughts on my relationship Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 5
R Relationship ended - feel depressed and confused Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 14
K Dealing with quarantine & relationship Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 8
D How has BPD affected your relationship with your partner Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 8
E Relationship and Sex with BPD Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 26
R How do I deal with relationship anxieties whilst in isolation? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 2
R Relationship suspicion and irrational fears Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
D How to stop BPD ruining another relationship Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 17
L How to cope with Paranoia Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 5
D Paranoia taking over Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 15
T paranoia, feeling of constant threat Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 1
T Feeling of constant threat, paranoia Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 1
am31901 Ditching somebody re: abandonment paranoia Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 13
P How should I deal with paranoia? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 8
P Constant paranoia Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 3
soulsearcher paranoia and bpd Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 20
V Also has anyone here taken part in any online courses Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 7
Fairy Lucretia i dont want to be part of the world x Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 3
D The more intense part of my BPD emotions came out today and I vented on the internet about my S.O. and got attacked for my frustration. I regret it. Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 31
K Is this part of my BPD? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 3

Similar threads

Top