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Is my wife bipolar???



New member
Apr 20, 2010
We have been together for three years and have two young children. My second boy was just born a few months ago. We come from very different backgrounds as I'm an American living in Costa Rica. She is Costa Rican. We speak Spanish in the house... sometimes things get lost in translation... however, my spanish has evolved to an advanced level. Very little gets misunderstood.

Okay - on her good days - she will be a sweet, caring and loving wife and mother. Then, something triggers a change. She will go from sweet to a complete nightmare and it last for at least 4-5 days of living hell, before she returns back to normal.... which is sweet, happy and pleasant to be around.

Here's what happens when she goes bad:

1. She becomes extremley aggitated and angry beyond comprehensive. She was do almost anything to hurt me and becomes very abusive verbally and emotionally. She fights about everything. She tries making me feel like shit about everything. She honestly goes from loving me to hating my very presence in a matter of minutes.

2. The volume of her voice goes from normal to "yelling" about almost everything. She will even do this in public and receive looks. She talks over me... not with me. She is right about everything. I'm wrong about everything.

3. She goes fanatical about her birth family. She just chides all day about how great THEY ARE and how shitty I AM. I can't say anything about her family, without triggering a wildly angry response. Any word of her family can and usually does trigger and eposide of rage.

4. She lies about everything and becomes totally secretive. If I ask where she is going, if she is just going out for an errand. She gets highly mad for asking such a simple question. She lies about money. She asks for spending money, then does stupid shit like pay off her relatives loans, when we have electric bills to pay. She lies about everything. I can hardly trust a thing she says - especially when she is crazy.

5. She continuously tries to destroy our relationship. She says she is leaving me. She threatens me all the time... says she will take my kids by force and move... presumbly... into a chicken shack somewhere on the beach.

6. She comes up with these crazily stupid ideas about how to make money. One time - she told me she was going to kick her parents out of THEIR house. Then, open a youth hostel for college students. Ofcourse, this included taking my children by force. They are 1.8 years old and 4 months. They naturaly would learn the hotel trade with her and become her business partners. This all happened on a Sunday morning... while I was drinking coffee and reading the paper. It ended up - in raised voice argument... ofcourse she was yelling and screaming and lying... because she told me she would call the police and say I was physically abusing her. This was a lie. Howver, it was her clever plan to get the kids out of the house.... and put to good work at her fantasy hotel.

7. She doesnt sleep well or eat right. I woke up once at 3:30 AM and she had all the lights on and was outside watering the gardens. She will go days without eating anything but a chocolate bar. Her diet is horrible. Or, she will eat food with zero nutrional value... like diet breakfast bars or nothing but watermelon. Her diet would kill any normal person... but she seems to thrive on it. As you might have guessed, she gets very mad when i question how she is eating.

8. She will get mad or bumbed out and lock herself in her room all day. Somtimes with the babies. One time I was so worried... I actually broke the door down just to make sure she wasn't hurting herself or the kids.

9. She will get angry and decide not to talk to me for a few days.

10. If the kids get the slightest bit sick, its all my fault because I brought germs and contaminated the home. If the kids get a cold, its very dangerous and I have to beg not to bring them to the hospital.

11. She cleans the house like a freak. Every godamn square inch is mopped, wiped and disinfected. I innocent spill can cause a big bout of anger and complaints. If I track dirt into the house after running.... it sends her into a whirlwind.

This usually last about 4-5 days before I breakdown and beg for peace or she just gets totally exhausted... or I drag her kicking and screaming to my psychologist who I see for managing depression and cultural adjustments. Then, we will have a few days or even weeks of happiness. Then, something stressful always happens and BOOOMMMMMM. Like flipping a switch and she will turn crazy all over again.

This has been happening for three years. She seems to go from nice to hyper bitch every several weeks. It is putting a major damper on our relationship. We are showing ugliness to our young kids. I want to the shit to stop, however, I don't want cry wolf. I have googled several different mood problems like post partem and such. However, bipolar seems to be the hellish cycle that I'm hostage in every few weeks.

Please help!!!!!


Well-known member
Oct 31, 2009
I'm not a qualified medical professional Empatey so it would be hard for me to tell you, it usually takes careful observation by a psychiatrist over a period of some time to arrive at a conclusive diagnosis.

I have however been in a relationship several years ago with someone who was a compulsive liar and I know how insecure it made me feel, I never knew what was truth or lies, she lied about money, her background, her education and other stuff, it really put me on edge trying to work out truth or fiction, just wanted to say I know what its like to be in that situation and hope you can find the help to work out the issues in your marriage.


Your wife certainlysounds as if she has behaviour problems - but I don't think she has bipolar disorder. People with bipolar disorder can be okay to live with!


New member
Apr 20, 2010
Your wife certainlysounds as if she has behaviour problems - but I don't think she has bipolar disorder. People with bipolar disorder can be okay to live with!
Well this is probably putting it lightly. My mother came to visit from the US for a week to see her grandchildren. The first night - wife got angry at me and threatened to leave me with the kids to go look for a job. Why? I just gave her $100 to pay a bank loan. Who knows? I give her an allowance which is exactly to what she was making in a 40 hour per week job.

Anyway, she was a complete bitch to both me and my mom all week. Cold and mean. Finally, she said she was leaving. I began shopping for nannies with my mother. I can't work and babysit kids at the same time!!! Anyway, when she realized i was SERIOUSLY shopping for nannies. Something struck her. And, she snapped out of it within a few minutes. Then, she was nice and sweet again.

Can someone please help me understand?
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