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Is my boyfriend obsessed with road cycling? He has only a 26” waist!

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LouiseRose89

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Sep 11, 2020
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Hello,

I really need to know if I’m overthinking about my boyfriend or if his behaviour is extreme and whether or not I should be concerned.

I think my boyfriend is obsessed with exercise, namely road cycling. He works 12-hour shifts and it doesn’t matter how tired he is after work, he NEEDS to go for a bike for at least two hours every night. Every day of the week, apart from the odd day, he is always out on his bike and on a weekend he will go out for five hours or more!

He never eats processed food, avoids any types of junk food like biscuits, chocolate, etc, he makes all of his own food even though I have told him that I would make him his food for work, etc. He doesn’t starve himself or anything like that and we regularly go out for meals (especially a Sunday dinner), we go out for a few drinks at a few pubs, etc. He goes out with his mates every Friday night. But, if we go out for a meal then he has told me that he gets an urge to go out for a bike ride to burn off the calories and it’s the same when he goes out with his mates on Friday because on a Saturday morning he is out for hours and hours. He’s told me that he gets worried about putting on any weight and couldn’t imagine himself being any heavier. He has always been slim. The thing is, his mother has told me that he’s the type of person who could eat pizzas, kebabs, etc, and not put on any weight because he’s got a fast metabolism and is always active.

He is 6’1 and 10 stone and 6 pounds, he has a 26” waist. I don’t think it’s wrong for him to want to keep fit and stay slim, but I don’t know anyone who cycles as much as he does and I don’t know any man who has a 26” waist!

He doesn’t think that he’s doing anything wrong because I’ve asked him and he said that he enjoys road cycling and looking after himself. But, I do think there is exercising and then there is exercising too much.

I don’t have any problems with him road cycling and I don’t mind if he’s out for hours and hours because we both enjoy doing our own things e.g. I love shopping and he hates it so he doesn’t bother going with me.

I don’t mind the fact that he’s very slim because I’m petite and a size 6 or 8 in clothes (depending on the shop) and I wouldn’t want to be with a guy who drinks lots of beer, who does very little exercise and has a lazy lifestyle.

He’s well known around the area for being out on his bike all of the time. Quite a few of my friends see him regularly and they all describe him as a “whippet”!

Should I just accept that he’s a fitness fanatic or do you think he has some sort of disorder/illness?

Thanks everyone
 
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Nukelavee

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I think he's fine.

Also, I, too, have a 26 inch waist
 
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Purpleplum

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Sounds like he has an exercise addiction. I can see the signs.
 
Talina

Talina

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He seem to have an addiction and worry about his weight. Which aren’t that healthy if he bike a lot because of weigt and not because he’s enjoy biking and being outdoors.

Muscles weight more than fat, so a well trained person with a lot of muscles can weight a lot more. I have a brother with six pack and huge muscles, he weight most of all my brothers. My other brothers are like your boyfriend in height and being skinny with a thin waist. They all can eat mountain of food without gaining weight. I’m jealous of their food eating power. My other brothers don’t train but still skinny men 😒
 
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LouiseRose89

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I think he's fine.

Also, I, too, have a 26 inch waist
How tall are you?

My father and brothers are more or less the same height as my boyfriend and if I were to take a guess they probably have between 30-36” waist.

He seem to have an addiction and worry about his weight. Which aren’t that healthy if he bike a lot because of weigt and not because he’s enjoy biking and being outdoors.

Muscles weight more than fat, so a well trained person with a lot of muscles can weight a lot more. I have a brother with six pack and huge muscles, he weight most of all my brothers. My other brothers are like your boyfriend in height and being skinny with a thin waist. They all can eat mountain of food without gaining weight. I’m jealous of their food eating power. My other brothers don’t train but still skinny men 😒
Yes, if he has a meal, and by that I mean his lunch, then he feels the urge to burn off the calories because he’s worried that he may put on a pound or whatever.

I’ve lost count at how many times I’ve seen him weighing himself!

By the way, muscle does not weigh more than fat. Muscle is more dense than fat.
 
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sab1978

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There are worse things he could be addicted too. I say this from experience, being a former exercise addict. I know it went too far, but it served me at the time and kept me away from more destructive things.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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Hello and welcome to the forum. Your boyfriend is very worried about weight gain and exercises after every meal. To be this is not healthy. My partner is a runner and has a very healthy lifestyle but he allows himself a treat and does not weigh himself. I think there is a difference between being health conscious and being obssessive.
 
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Nukelavee

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How tall are you?
I'm 5'9", 130 pounds, which is up about 20 pounds from my lifetime average.

Upon hindsight - it is possible he has a body image issue, or he may just be that focused on fitness.

I don't think anybody here can have enough info to really judge that, tho.
 
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LouiseRose89

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Hello and welcome to the forum. Your boyfriend is very worried about weight gain and exercises after every meal. To be this is not healthy. My partner is a runner and has a very healthy lifestyle but he allows himself a treat and does not weigh himself. I think there is a difference between being health conscious and being obssessive.
How tall is your boyfriend? How heavy is your boyfriend?

I’m not even sure why my boyfriend is so keen to go out on his bike so often considering he’s always at work and his job is very physically demanding.

I do think he’s obsessed because if we go out for a Sunday dinner then he goes to the extreme of estimating how many calories the Sunday dinner has so he can judge how long he has to stay out on his bike.

His body will burn off the calories he has every day anyway because he’s not a big eater and there is no way he is consuming more calories than he burns on a daily basis. I’ve mentioned that to him many times, but his argument is that he wants to burn it off himself.

I suppose that it’s better that he’s addicted to road cycling than drugs.

He’s not really a big eater, but surely there is nothing wrong with him going to McDonald’s or having a takeaway every now and then. I don’t even think I could get him to step inside of McDonald’s or a takeaway shop.

It’s not like I’m obese and I’m trying to make him fat, but I do feel like he’s restricting himself for absolutely no reason. Perhaps he sees going out with his friends once a week as his day off. I doubt that though because before he goes out for a drink he goes out on his bike and when he comes back he’s pouring of sweat and has clearly pushed himself even more than unusual.

I need to keep reminding myself that some people are more conscious of what they eat and drink.

My ex-boyfriend was quite a bit heavier and he used to do very little exercise and he used to drink a lot in the house and I hated that. At least my boyfriend loves an active lifestyle.

I'm 5'9", 130 pounds, which is up about 20 pounds from my lifetime average.

Upon hindsight - it is possible he has a body image issue, or he may just be that focused on fitness.

I don't think anybody here can have enough info to really judge that, tho.
Of course you are slim for your height, but when it comes to height and weight then perception can change if someone is just a few inches taller or smaller can make all of the difference.

I’m sure you’re aware of the road cyclist Bradley Wiggins. Well back in the day he was 10 stone and 8 pounds and he looked very slim. He still does now even though he’s put on a bit of weight!

My mother thinks that my boyfriend “behaves like a woman” because she doesn’t know any man who behaves the way he does when it comes to a man obsessing over his image since that is stereotypically associated with a woman.

I find it unusual to buy XS or XXS size and sometimes kids’ clothes for a fully grown man because he’s so small. I think that is because my father, brothers and other male relatives are what is considered to be average/normal.
 
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LouiseRose89

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I think it’s worth noting that has lost weight and will obviously continue to lose weight.

His argument is that a couple of pounds can make all of the difference.

At the end of the day, I think I’ve just got to accept that he takes road cycling very seriously and it’s up to him.
 
Talina

Talina

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My brothers at 6’1 feet, one weight 75 kg (more muscles) while the other is just bones (56kg). The brother hitting 56 kg is underweight and have a bmi of 16. Both brothers eat like horses and have a black hole as a stomach. No eating disorders, the one at 75 kg have well defined muscles and not a lot of body fat. He have more muscles than my other brother at 56 kg. The strongest brother have even more muscles and weight nearly 85kg and he’s 5’9, he have a defined 6 pack somtimes go down to a 8 pack. While myself have weighted 10 stones and 6 pounds and I’m down on 8 stones and 11 pounds. You don’t notice any different on my body between the weights and my height is 5’8. The only difference is that I’ve lost muscles because I’m not training as much.

You shouldn’t focus on weight when training and being active. He can go up in weight because he gets more muscles while he have lost the fat. The weight will go up and down.

Your man is already in a healthy range of bmi, he can push it lower but he need to have a border where to stop. The body need a balance.

How much do he wants to weight and will he stop when he hit the weight he wants? Otherwise it can go dangerous.
 
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LouiseRose89

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You shouldn’t focus on weight when training and being active. He can go up in weight because he gets more muscles while he have lost the fat. The weight will go up and down.

Your man is already in a healthy range of bmi, he can push it lower but he need to have a border where to stop. The body need a balance.

How much do he wants to weight and will he stop when he hit the weight he wants? Otherwise it can go dangerous.
He’s never been heavy so I think he would struggle to put on weight. And, as I have mentioned, he never wants to put on weight.

I have no idea what his aim/goal is when it comes to his weight, but all I do know is that at 10 1/2 stone he is very slim.

He gets defensive if I try and bring up weight and how much exercise he does. I’m just worried that he’s becoming too obsessed and wants to actually lose more weight which as you have mentioned, could become dangerous. If we are going by BMI, he is at the lower end of what is considered to be a healthy weight for a 6’1 man. Yeah, he does look like the stereotypical road cyclist (“a whippet”), but I just don’t want him to become ill.

Also, I’m not saying that he is the ONLY fully grown man in the world who has a 26” waist, but for someone his height it is not common and he stands out like a sore thumb.
 
Talina

Talina

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He’s never been heavy so I think he would struggle to put on weight. And, as I have mentioned, he never wants to put on weight.

I have no idea what his aim/goal is when it comes to his weight, but all I do know is that at 10 1/2 stone he is very slim.

He gets defensive if I try and bring up weight and how much exercise he does. I’m just worried that he’s becoming too obsessed and wants to actually lose more weight which as you have mentioned, could become dangerous. If we are going by BMI, he is at the lower end of what is considered to be a healthy weight for a 6’1 man. Yeah, he does look like the stereotypical road cyclist (“a whippet”), but I just don’t want him to become ill.

Also, I’m not saying that he is the ONLY fully grown man in the world who has a 26” waist, but for someone his height it is not common and he stands out like a sore thumb.
It’s understandable but often it can be hard changing a persons view. He seem obsessing over the weight a lot. I can think how he looks like because he would be between my 6’1 feet brothers weight.

I know the skinniest of my brothers had a period he didn’t like his weight but that was just because he can’t gain any weight. Which make him not allowed to donate any blood, he have a bmi of 16. He’s just a stick but that’s just how his body is built. People come in different sizes and structures. My brother will gain weight when he hit 30+ like the rest of my brothers did.

We have naturally curvy and really skinny, it’s not that the curvy person would be more unhealthy than the skinny. It’s just the genetics on how your body is built normally.

He already spend a lot of time thinking about his weight and obsessing over it. Do he feel good when he do it, do he understand how much time he spends on it. Can he only love himself when he’s really skinny. Everything is warning bells that can go haywire and will need help to get away. What he will need help with is his thoughts and view. But it can be hard with a close one to help. Because they won’t see a problem with what they are doing and that it’s have spiraled into a obssesion that’s unhealthy.

He can keep on biking and exercise but it shouldn’t be because of weight loss. It should be because he enjoy it. But it’s hard to notice the problem by yourself. Often you push it so far you get a wake up call. Myself have a cousin that once obsessed over weight and she ended up at the hospital because of organ failure. That was her wake up call but if anyone around her had notice the signs and tried to help, maybe it wouldn’t been pushed so far or maybe she truly need that wake up call to change her view. Don’t know because everyone just gave praises when she lost weight, not seeing the problem she was struggling with. While I was against her losing weight.

I can say she’s a lot happier now than what she was before.
 
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LouiseRose89

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Hi Talina,

Well, of course genes do play a part in one’s weight (and other things e.g. height), but no one is born fat or obese. And, it doesn’t matter who you are - if you consume more calories than you burn then over time you will put on weight. The notion of “he/she can eat what he/she wants and not put on any weight” is not straightforward. For example, you don’t know how much that person eats when not in your company, you don’t know how much exercise that person does, etc.

I’m sure that he does enjoy road cycling because he buys road cycling magazines, he is always bidding on cycling clothes and accessories on eBay, he regularly tells me where he went, etc.

My theory is what has happened is that he set a goal and achieved so he’s always setting himself goals and it’s going to the point where he’s going to become very underweight. I mean, although he is still technically speaking considered to be in the healthy range limit for his height, I’m sure most people would say that he should put on some weight. He doesn’t look out of place with me because I’m petite, but compared to his other friends, most of his family and my family and friends, he is very slim.

With regards to muscle, most road cyclists (I mean serious road cyclists) tend to have no fat and just leg muscles which is why they are still very slim and have muscle in the right places (legs). I suppose that when he’s around other road cyclists then he probably feels at home because most of them are like whippets, but he needs to remember that most people are not road cycling for two hours or more six or seven days a week.

You have hit the nail on the head - when it comes to his weight, his “ideal look” and his own thoughts about his appearance then he’s in his own little world.

I am glad that he takes care of himself and he has a great body that many people more than likely envy, but I just don’t want him to keep on losing weight and end up ill.

I have a plan - I am going to ask him to step on the scales in front of me tomorrow.
 
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