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Is it wrrong to want some time for myself?

J

johnathon84

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Joined
Apr 1, 2015
Messages
51
Hi there everyone i made a post earlier in the week which was explaining about my depression and anxiety in the work place. From next week im going to see my general practioner and im taking some time away from work in order to get myself better. I do not know how long im going to be off for all i know is that i will return when i feel ready to so it all depends really. Iv never really taken a long period of time away from work and i do feel a little guilty about taking the time away but should i feel guilty?. Its not wrong for me to want some time to myself is it?. I feel that i need this time in order to get myself together and clear my head. Any advice on this matter from anyone would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Sep 12, 2013
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Hi Jonathon,

You do not need to feel guilty for taking time off work sick to help you to recover. By the souns of it your GP has advised this and given you a sick note because they do not feel that you are medically fit to be at work. You are obviously concientious about your work. Remember if you are not well you will not be doing your job to your normal abilities either. Take this time out to get well again with your GPs support and remember that you are allowed to go out and do the things that you enjoy this is part of your recovery you don't need to stay at home worrying about what people will think if they see you out and about.

Take care of yourself and I hope things get easier soon, remember all things will pass.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
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Well done for making the hard decision to take time out for yourself. It really is not easy to make that decision. I did a similar thing to you. I'm glad I did it.your health is important, don't feel guilty.
I hope you feel better soon.
As cazcat says don't feel bad about doing things when you are up to it, it's part of recovery. Summer is round the corner, perhaps you will feel up to some nice walks.
I wish you well.
 
C

Ceegee1

Member
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Apr 2, 2015
Messages
5
If you were to break your leg, you would take time from work, right? That being said, when you are feeling depressed, you should take time off from work. Healing your soul/mind/heart is just as valid as any other part of your body.
Do it. You deserve to heal.
 
J

johnathon84

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Joined
Apr 1, 2015
Messages
51
Thank you everybody for your replies and support. it means a great deal to me thank you so much. I think one of the main reasons i am concerned is that when i do eventually return to work if there is any atmosphere between other colleagues with me. i Worry a great deal about this even though i know that little worry is making the process of getting better harder for me. It does concern me. I am in no risk of any termination as i have never received any formal warnings or anything of that nature so i know my rights in regards to this but surely if i were to be labeled out upon my return this would be unacceptable right?.
 
J

johnathon84

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Apr 1, 2015
Messages
51
Thank you Unique1. if you dont mind me asking, how long was you away for and how did you find your experience of returning?. Thank you for your advice.
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Sep 12, 2013
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Yes it would be wrong to treat you differently when you go back and also illegal under discrimination law. In reality with your collegues it may vary. Mental health problems affect 1 in 4 of us and you will probably find that if you talk to people there will be many who have experienced depression or know people that have. Often it will not be people that you would be able to recognise as depression sufferers as theres often no outward signs, I think you will be surprised. Unfortunately there is still stigma around mental illness and lack of understanding and there may be some people who don't understand. There may be some people who would like to be helpful but don't know how to approach things with you.

My Mum suffered from depression when I was young and has always been open about talking about it to help increase understanding. I have suffered from depression too and again been open about talking about it. I think in our society men find it harder to discuss things like this unfortunately, but I know some very strong men who have suffered from depression, come out the other side and continued to be sucessful in their careers. Remember, depression isn't a sign of weakness, its a sign of trying to stay strong for too long.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Thank you Unique1. if you dont mind me asking, how long was you away for and how did you find your experience of returning?. Thank you for your advice.
Hi.
I don't mind you asking.
My circumstances were similar but not the same, I in fact Decided to give notice and not return. Unlike you I allowed myself to work for too long being unwell and I reached a little more of a crisis point. They had no idea and tried to get me to stay, but I new I was sinking fast. I was working lots more hours than they new to keep up.It was such a hard decision, decisions regarding out employment are hard to make as we do worry.

So I'm sorry I can't really give you an idea how it was when I went back. All I will say to you is, that we all imagine the worst , these days though there is protection against people being labelled, concentrate on the here and now if at all possible, you have done the right thing. From what I hear most people say retuning to work is a positive experience for them with colleagues. I hope someone comes along here and is better able to give you examples .
I learnt such a lot from forums such as this when I first started on this journey, they are very very useful, some lovely people, so good to keep in touch and look around.
Wish you well.
 
katya

katya

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Dec 4, 2013
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2,052
Location
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No, you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty. You're not well and you need to recover. :)
 
J

johnathon84

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Apr 1, 2015
Messages
51
Hey there thank you for your reply. Ah right i see what you mean. Did you leaving a job under medical grounds cause any issues claiming any form of benefit or anything like that after leaving?. Il be honest and say the idea of a similar scenario has taken my mind a storm for quite some time but i was worried as to wether i would be entitled to anything if this was the case. Thanks in advance.
 
C

Christobel

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Jun 6, 2014
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1,075
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South west
You sound a very conscientious person, Johnathon, and you are quite right to take as much time off as necessary until you are quite well. When I developed my disorder I tried to go back to work too soon. I remember standing at the front door with my briefcase in my hand, and being unable to move my legs. I was lucky in that my company gave me full pay for a year.

Ideally, there should be no more stigma in going back to work after a mental illness than any other kind. My workmates were very kind and supportive and I was offered less stressful duties.
 
J

johnathon84

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Joined
Apr 1, 2015
Messages
51
Hi Christobel thank you for your message. Thnak you very much for the kind words and i apprecaite your advice. I had simialr experiences over my past few work days when i was last in. I was often having panic attacks both on my way and even inside of work also which has been very worrying. I have also had time off in the past with the same issues but that was only two weeks away to which throughtout the whole time i was so focused on goig back to work after the two week time period. However this time im not going to rush the process and find myself leaving ill again. I have come to the realisiation that i just need to go back as and when i am ready too. My health is more important than my job and taking the time away is the only way i can think of getting myself better right now.

That is good that your fellow staff were good about it and less stressfull duties were made available to you. Im unsure as to how long im going to be away from work for, but i need to take my time on this. Afterwhich a long term sickness i also read can include less stressful duties afrer returning and even a phased return considering well enough to return. Thank you for the advice Christobel :)
 
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