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Is it wrong of me to encourage my little brother to drop out from university

Talina

Talina

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May 14, 2020
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513
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Sweden
Hi everyone, I wonder if it’s wrong of me to encourage my little brother to drop out from university.

I told him to give the university a few weeks chance but if he still feel like it’s nothing for him. He should just quit the course he’s reading.

He have gotten an opportunity to travel to Tokyo and seoul to work a few months. If he get free time from university, which would be great for him even though it’s under covid-19. He have no idea what he want to do in life, what to study and what he likes. The reason why I tell him to do what he want and try to find himself.

Because I know his dream is to study outside sweden and move to another country. He wish to live in france and study there. The reason why I encourage him to try different things. Instead of getting stuck in a box and losing the dreams he have. He have great grades and can get into whatever he want but he don’t dare follow the passion he likes.

He always jump into things he have no interest in. This is his third university course/program and I still don’t see it going any where. Because in real life he have no true passion or interest in what he’s reading. In my opinion if you are going to study at university you need to have a bit of interest for what you studies otherwise the motivation is truly in the bottom.

My little brother have depression and can have suicidal thoughts, when it’s bad. But what bring him still a bit joy is when he travel and work with the things he have an interest for. The reasons why I encourage him to drop out but I feel a bit guilty when I do it.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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3,037
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Glasgow
Hi everyone, I wonder if it’s wrong of me to encourage my little brother to drop out from university.

I told him to give the university a few weeks chance but if he still feel like it’s nothing for him. He should just quit the course he’s reading.

He have gotten an opportunity to travel to Tokyo and seoul to work a few months. If he get free time from university, which would be great for him even though it’s under covid-19. He have no idea what he want to do in life, what to study and what he likes. The reason why I tell him to do what he want and try to find himself.

Because I know his dream is to study outside sweden and move to another country. He wish to live in france and study there. The reason why I encourage him to try different things. Instead of getting stuck in a box and losing the dreams he have. He have great grades and can get into whatever he want but he don’t dare follow the passion he likes.

He always jump into things he have no interest in. This is his third university course/program and I still don’t see it going any where. Because in real life he have no true passion or interest in what he’s reading. In my opinion if you are going to study at university you need to have a bit of interest for what you studies otherwise the motivation is truly in the bottom.

My little brother have depression and can have suicidal thoughts, when it’s bad. But what bring him still a bit joy is when he travel and work with the things he have an interest for. The reasons why I encourage him to drop out but I feel a bit guilty when I do it.
Formal education is over rated, and does not guarentee you a job any more, not like 20 years ago. If he was my boy id tell him to go travel, see some of the world, and dont get hung up on job prospecrs etc
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
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5,649
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England
I think it is wonderful you know your brother so well and understand what brings him joy. I agree that it does not seem worthwhile to study a topic he has no interest in. Your brother is lucky to have you.
 
Murasakibee

Murasakibee

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Aug 25, 2020
Messages
328
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Midwest USA
Hi everyone, I wonder if it’s wrong of me to encourage my little brother to drop out from university.

I told him to give the university a few weeks chance but if he still feel like it’s nothing for him. He should just quit the course he’s reading.

He have gotten an opportunity to travel to Tokyo and seoul to work a few months. If he get free time from university, which would be great for him even though it’s under covid-19. He have no idea what he want to do in life, what to study and what he likes. The reason why I tell him to do what he want and try to find himself.

Because I know his dream is to study outside sweden and move to another country. He wish to live in france and study there. The reason why I encourage him to try different things. Instead of getting stuck in a box and losing the dreams he have. He have great grades and can get into whatever he want but he don’t dare follow the passion he likes.

He always jump into things he have no interest in. This is his third university course/program and I still don’t see it going any where. Because in real life he have no true passion or interest in what he’s reading. In my opinion if you are going to study at university you need to have a bit of interest for what you studies otherwise the motivation is truly in the bottom.

My little brother have depression and can have suicidal thoughts, when it’s bad. But what bring him still a bit joy is when he travel and work with the things he have an interest for. The reasons why I encourage him to drop out but I feel a bit guilty when I do it.
I don't think it's wrong to encourage him to go fulfill his dream. I think that's really sweet that you know where his passions are.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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Travel the world and gain life experience. A degree means nothing these days.
 
E

Elisante

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Greece
Υeah it's a little wrong. If it doesn't go well he'll blame you. Advice him if you want but let him make his own decision.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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Messages
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Υeah it's a little wrong. If it doesn't go well he'll blame you. Advice him if you want but let him make his own decision.
Hey i had the chance to join my uncle in australia. Passed it up for a shitty apprenticeship in scotland. Push him to go see rhe world and live his best life.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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If it was my boy id be pushing him to leave and go experience life.
 
P

Purpleplum

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I don't think you should "tell" him things to do. I would say it to him in this way: "here's what I would do if it were me..."
 
Talina

Talina

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Messages
513
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Sweden
Υeah it's a little wrong. If it doesn't go well he'll blame you. Advice him if you want but let him make his own decision.
I’m letting him to decide his life and not pushing him. But I’m just being honest. Why should he go around complaining on what he studies because he have no interest. He’s only 20 and have gone through 3 different university. He have time to explore and decide.

I don't think you should "tell" him things to do. I would say it to him in this way: "here's what I would do if it were me..."
I’m not telling him what to do, I’m just being honest and I often tell him to give the university a bit of time. See if he settle down or it will give him interest.

He knows I will support him in whatever he decide. But because the pressure he feel from my parents, he don’t dare take the steps for his own happiness. It’s better to find what he want to do and find a job that will fit him instead of going blind and jump in. At least get a bit of experience to find the university course he want to read.

He literally have jumped into physic, geoscience, chemistry and global studies. Without even thinking is this for me, all the time he sounds passion when talking. But myself just think since when did you have interest for those areas, I’ve never seen him show or even talk about those things. His interest have always been the opposite to what he’s studying 😅

He hate chemistry, he find it super boring, physic he have no interest but just find math being easy to do. Geoscience was a total miss at least he got a few stones to place in the room. The global studies he also have no interest in.
 
P

Purpleplum

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I’m letting him to decide his life and not pushing him. But I’m just being honest. Why should he go around complaining on what he studies because he have no interest. He’s only 20 and have gone through 3 different university. He have time to explore and decide.



I’m not telling him what to do, I’m just being honest and I often tell him to give the university a bit of time. See if he settle down or it will give him interest.

He knows I will support him in whatever he decide. But because the pressure he feel from my parents, he don’t dare take the steps for his own happiness. It’s better to find what he want to do and find a job that will fit him instead of going blind and jump in. At least get a bit of experience to find the university course he want to read.

He literally have jumped into physic, geoscience, chemistry and global studies. Without even thinking is this for me, all the time he sounds passion when talking. But myself just think since when did you have interest for those areas, I’ve never seen him show or even talk about those things. His interest have always been the opposite to what he’s studying 😅

He hate chemistry, he find it super boring, physic he have no interest but just find math being easy to do. Geoscience was a total miss at least he got a few stones to place in the room. The global studies he also have no interest in.
So it sounds like you had already decided what to do, are happy with the decision and believe that it's the right thing to do. What was the reason for the thread asking if it was wrong to?
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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So it sounds like you had already decided what to do, are happy with the decision and believe that it's the right thing to do. What was the reason for the thread asking if it was wrong to?
The boy is asking advice. Whats wrong with that?
 
P

Purpleplum

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The boy is asking advice. Whats wrong with that?
I'm referring to his answer to my post. Did you read the answer? He had already made the decision and said he had very good reason to do it, etc. Hence, my reply.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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I'm referring to his answer to my post. Did you read the answer? He had already made the decision and said he had very good reason to do it, etc. Hence, my reply.
Ok so im out of order yet again. My apologies
 
Talina

Talina

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Sweden
So it sounds like you had already decided what to do, are happy with the decision and believe that it's the right thing to do. What was the reason for the thread asking if it was wrong to?
I haven’t decided. What myself belive and what the rest of the family. I just explained the reason why I tell him, I’m not trying to put my belief and tell him what I want him to do with his life. Because your advice made it sound like I was forcing my little brother.

Because how I stand make me stick out from what my parents stands. Which will cause a conflict in the family. In the family we have already had arguments the times he dropped out. Me defending him while my parents pressuring him to not. So if he drops out again, the tension at home will go up again which cause me to feel guilty. Because I know that my little brother hate when the family fight and will feel sad.

It starts to feel I’m doing something wrong, do I have the right to give advice for my little brother and make him solidify what he decide. Or should I just let him keep on going, it just feel that if he don’t get a kick he will get stuck and feel bad over staying in something he hate. Would it help with his depression. Will he look back and wonder why didn’t I take the opportunity I got. Maybe it’s wrong of me giving the advices I’ve been doing, it have made him drop out from previous studies. But I feel if he follows what my parents want it will make him feel more depressed. I just want him to be the happy little brother that enjoys what he do.

The work he do is modeling and acting as a hobby. He have just started to get more work within modeling and his trips and places to stay is always payed by those that hire him. He have a good modeling agency and manger. He find it fun and while he’s still young shouldn’t he go for it or will it better to advice him to study. But he had a passion for film making and acting since he was a kid and he still have that passion. Even though he try to hide how happy he becomes.

He’s back home for a short while between filming he’s a minor actor in a series, he’s totally different. He have more energy and I’ve seen him smile more these days, instead of him always laying in his bed and having no energy to eat or go out.
 
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