F
Firewind
Guest
For decades now I have assumed I have social phobia
and yet when I read about the symptoms, something
doesn't quite ring true. I very well may have it but over
the last few weeks I've been wondering about something.
I am very comfortable with strangers. I can talk to any
stranger anywhere about almost anything from chit chat
to pretty intimate things if it is not inappropriate. I've
had a lot of therapy and I think because of that I went
from someone who kept everything inside to someone who
feels comfortable talking about almost anything.
The problem comes if, say, I begin to see and speak with the
same person
in the store over and over. It begins to become more
uncomfortable for me. I might even change the store I go to.

My mom seems to have something similiar altho I didn't know
it til recently (I've lived most of my life in a different area from
my parents). She goes to a really big church and will sit in an
area for a while til she starts to get to know the people and then
she will have to move to another part of the church she is so
uncomfortable.
My mom likes people and is good with people and the odd thing is
both of us prefer "people" jobs. Jobs where we actually work with
the public, like in a dept. store or customer service. And both of
us always get along with our co-workers better than most people
do even the people that most people can't get along with.
She has been married for almost 60 years so it's not a commitment
problem. I don't believe mine is about commitment either. I've been
in two long term relationships in my life and I am 60 now. I was
married for over 30 years to the same man.
I didn't know that my mom had these same symtoms til I moved
over here to her area. The symptoms we have (and there are
many more along the same line) are almost exactly alike and neither
of us knew it til I moved here and we began to talk to each other
more in depth.
I began to wonder if it is fear of intimacy, altho in a way that doesn't
seem right either as I really prefer emotional intimacy in friendships and
other close relationships. That is one difference in me and my mom.
But she didn't have years of therapy like I did. I used to hate intimacy
like she does. I was very private as she is and didn't really want people
to get too close. I've changed that part because of the therapy I feel.
So then I become even more confused. For me, anyway, I love emotional
intimacy so that doesn't make sense either.
But these strange symptoms that my mom and I do share. I don't know
what they really are. Maybe they are social phobia, just a different kind
than fit into what is usually listed as the typical symptoms. I do go into
a panic at the thought of going to church or other places like that. And
I do know that it has something to do with the people because thinking
about going to an empty church is not a problem lol.
As background I have had on and off problems with agoraphobia, driving phobias, panic attacks, and very bad almost continual high anxiety at various times of my life. I've also had on and off problems with depression which is controlled now thru antidepressants. I also have PTSD from a lot
of childhood things and some adult traumas.
If anyone has any ideas about this odd thing (or at least odd to me to try to put a name to) I'd appreciate
and yet when I read about the symptoms, something
doesn't quite ring true. I very well may have it but over
the last few weeks I've been wondering about something.
I am very comfortable with strangers. I can talk to any
stranger anywhere about almost anything from chit chat
to pretty intimate things if it is not inappropriate. I've
had a lot of therapy and I think because of that I went
from someone who kept everything inside to someone who
feels comfortable talking about almost anything.
The problem comes if, say, I begin to see and speak with the
same person
in the store over and over. It begins to become more
uncomfortable for me. I might even change the store I go to.

My mom seems to have something similiar altho I didn't know
it til recently (I've lived most of my life in a different area from
my parents). She goes to a really big church and will sit in an
area for a while til she starts to get to know the people and then
she will have to move to another part of the church she is so
uncomfortable.
My mom likes people and is good with people and the odd thing is
both of us prefer "people" jobs. Jobs where we actually work with
the public, like in a dept. store or customer service. And both of
us always get along with our co-workers better than most people
do even the people that most people can't get along with.
She has been married for almost 60 years so it's not a commitment
problem. I don't believe mine is about commitment either. I've been
in two long term relationships in my life and I am 60 now. I was
married for over 30 years to the same man.
I didn't know that my mom had these same symtoms til I moved
over here to her area. The symptoms we have (and there are
many more along the same line) are almost exactly alike and neither
of us knew it til I moved here and we began to talk to each other
more in depth.
I began to wonder if it is fear of intimacy, altho in a way that doesn't
seem right either as I really prefer emotional intimacy in friendships and
other close relationships. That is one difference in me and my mom.
But she didn't have years of therapy like I did. I used to hate intimacy
like she does. I was very private as she is and didn't really want people
to get too close. I've changed that part because of the therapy I feel.
So then I become even more confused. For me, anyway, I love emotional
intimacy so that doesn't make sense either.
But these strange symptoms that my mom and I do share. I don't know
what they really are. Maybe they are social phobia, just a different kind
than fit into what is usually listed as the typical symptoms. I do go into
a panic at the thought of going to church or other places like that. And
I do know that it has something to do with the people because thinking
about going to an empty church is not a problem lol.
As background I have had on and off problems with agoraphobia, driving phobias, panic attacks, and very bad almost continual high anxiety at various times of my life. I've also had on and off problems with depression which is controlled now thru antidepressants. I also have PTSD from a lot
of childhood things and some adult traumas.
If anyone has any ideas about this odd thing (or at least odd to me to try to put a name to) I'd appreciate
