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Is it possible for those with OCD to get over their compulsions and fears?

What would be the better ways to combat my OCD-like state as of right now?

  • Get back on my medication and try to continue as I never had these worries about this minifig

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Get back on my medication and try to avoid my worries (the minifig) completely for the time being

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
MrBond007

MrBond007

Member
Joined
Nov 16, 2020
Messages
22
Location
England
Hi all, first and foremost I have OCD/anxiety as well as depression (I also have aspergers syndrome). I am on medication (20mg Fluoxetine) for it but I haven't been round to pick it up in a couple of weeks, though I am planning on getting some more as soon as possible (though I probably won't be getting some more until Wednesday). Basically for the past 2 and a half years, I have been prone to OCD a lot, and it has been strongly affecting my daily life. Most of my OCD stems from things I would normally enjoy, for example my PC, video game consoles, my dvd player, my online accounts, etc. This time I've been worrying about a teeny tiny scratch (almost non-existent, as in you will need magnifying glass in the correct lighting to see it up close) on a Lego figure I have just bought off of eBay that was delivered to me 2 days ago. I mentioned this on my previous thread: Anxiety and OCD about a few things recently. on the final 2 paragraphs. The thing is I absolutely know this is completely and utterly irrational so why I've been worrying about it so much recently I have no idea. It's come to the point where I was so anxious about it, I stopped feeling passionate about Lego in general, just over a single custom minifigure (And I bought 3 of the exact same one too, since I always tend to do that with minifigs anyway, I like having spares and back-ups for them, especially when they are custom ones and their designs may vary. And knowing their may only be a very limited quantity I tend to get as many as I could and perhaps leave a few in a safe place somewhere as a contingency plan if one of them was to break, get lost, etc). And this worry only started around this time yesterday, before then I had zero issues with the minifigure, as a matter of fact I was so glad with how they turned out when it was delivered. As I mentioned before, I haven't taken my tablets in over 3 weeks so that probably contributed to my OCD, anxiety-like state. I also had a powerade that day, so the caffeine must have caused me to start overthinking a lot (caffeine really does that to me badly, which is a shame because I like most caffeinated drinks such as energy drinks, sports drinks, sodas, tea, coffee, etc). As of recently I have been eating quite well, I have been drinking 2 litres of water a day minimum, and have not had any alcohol or fizzy drinks in well over a week.

I just really want to get over this irrational fear of mine, so I can get back to enjoying my Lego again. I really don't want this stupid worry of mine to take over the one hobby that has really been making me feel very optimistic recently (for these past 3 weeks, I have bought a few minifigures off of Ebay and I must have bought over 25-30 lego sets from stores, that I have yet to take round my dads to unbox and build to put along with the rest of my Lego). I just don't want my only hobby that has been keeping me distracted from my fears and stress recently to be taken over by my OCD-like behavior to the point I am worrying about it, and perhaps boycott any new Lego sets/minifigures that I wanna get in future. I just really want this to be a phase, where I worry about it for a couple of days and then I eventually stop. Because phases like that have happened to me in the past. For example, I have a £400-500 custom built PC in my bedroom. Since I have a carpet in my bedroom, I have placed my PC on a wooden board, so it can correctly feed the air into the bottom of the case (where the ventilation is). However ever since I have placed my PC on that wooden board, I have had an underlying fear that it will fall over for some reason. It came to the point where I would get down and check the level of it at least 40-50 times a day. I also borrowed a spirit level off of my uncle to check the level of it with that another 30 or so times a day. Before setting out of the house, to go round my dads and spend some time round his house, I would honestly check the level of my PC a ton of times, and I could never bring myself to the conclusion that it was indeed level, so I would check it even more. Once I would leave my bedroom, I would constantly check on it by opening the door to see if it was still upright, and I'd do this over 20 times. After I lock my bedroom door and head downstairs, even though I know I locked my door, I'm still not convinced it is locked, and so I go back upstairs to check it, and then I end up unlocking the door and opening it to check on my PC for another 50 times again. After I leave my house and lock the front door, even though I know I have done it, I am still not convinced I had locked it and so I would unlock it and go into my house again, eventually I debate whether I locked my bedroom door again so I go upstairs to check on it, I then end up unlocking my bedroom door to check at my PC again for another 20 times and now I am back at square one.

It would ultimately take me at least half an hour to come to the conclusion that everything was fine so I could leave my house. But even when I was at my dad's, I started to worry about my PC, wondering if it was still going to be upright, the next time I go home. Even though I would stay round my Dads for a good few days, I would still walk home everyday to check on my PC to see if it was still level, and so the cycle repeats itself. This was back during the summer and I'm not feeling as bad about it now, as in I'm not checking my PC every 2 minutes to make sure it is completely 100% level, though I still do it a little bit. What I also used to always do is turn my PC on and check for updates every single day, just make sure it won't break for whatever reason. When I'd be round my dads, I would still walk home everyday to turn on my PC to make sure it was still fine. Again I don't feel as bad about it anymore (I can go for weeks now without having to check my PC and feel fine about it). I also used to check my social media counts (youtube, twitter, steam, deviantart, Xbox live, etc) by constantly checking and refreshing the page every 2 minutes, making sure I wasn't "hacked" or have been suspended for no reason. Because I have had tons of nightmares of this type of stuff happening to me. And every time a site wouldn't load, I would start to panic and worry that something extremely bad has happened, till I look on downdetector and it turns out it is indeed down. But even then I would still worry about it until it comes back online and I am checking them even more frequently for the rest of the day. These are all examples of fears that I have experienced in the past, that I have managed to not really get over with but have just been more used to them to the point where they don't bother me as much, so to speak. And I'm kinda hoping that this brand new worry I am having about this one Lego figure I have is just another one of those phases. I have been trying to imagine myself as I was years ago, I try to focus and have the same mindset as I did back in November 2017 (don't ask me why that month in particular haha I just wasn't as prone to OCD and anxiety back then) and tried to imagine getting these Lego figures in the post. I know for certain that I wouldn't have cared less if there was a teeny tiny scratch on one of them, and I know I would've just used them as normal without giving them a second thought. I know for definite that I would not be worrying about it like I am now. So why on earth am I worrying about it now?

Overall, I'm just praying that this is just wanna of my anxiety phases and that I can eventually get over it in a substantial amount of time especially when I can finally be on my medication again. I just wanna enjoy my Lego again and don't wanna be haunted for the rest of my life over such an "issue" if you can even call it one. I know it's irrational and I know it's not normal for me to be feeling like this, but I just cannot stop worrying and feeling anxious about it. It's come to the point where I can't even relax anymore, I am constantly on edge. I can't watch any YT videos and enjoy them anymore because my mind is so clouded with worries over an issue that doesn't even exist. And when you add college work on top of everything, it has been stressing me out even more 😰
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
5,563
Location
England
When do you start your medication again?
 
S

Started 1976

Active member
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
26
Location
Derbyshire
You need to keep taking your meds.Also try getting help,talking therapies like CBT is probably what you need?
I have suffered badly with OCD for most of my life and always try to recommend a book called "Brain Lock", Free Yourself from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, by Jeffrey M Schwartz.It covers so many areas of OCD Including "Checking Rituals"
Best of Luck Mate.
 
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