C
Cocoabean22
Member
I’m 19, due to a few things I am not starting university until next September, this means that I am constantly around my parents other than when they are both at work Monday-Thursday.
I made a post about my parents last month, but it is long and detailed, so I am just going to quickly mention this.
My parents are emotionally abusive, they are fickle so one moment they are understanding and the next there is a huge argument about a TV show. These arguments never stay on topic either, they end up arguing about things that have happened years ago that cannot be changed.
I cannot remember anything positive about my adolescence, I can just remember getting threatened and chased by them, they have hit me before, making me wear makeup at 11 years old and dress a certain way. They have controlled me for so long. I would lay awake at night wishing I could get taken away, or something would happen to them. That sounds horrible, but it is true. A few months ago I was was so distressed and was telling them about how I need braces for my underbite which I have been bullied for. I can’t walk down the street without a stare or a comment. I was saying ‘I cannot live like this anymore, I cannot do it anymore’ and I thought maybe they would understand. They did not speak to me for a week, they were furious. My mum stormed off and left for an hour or so, my dad said that I push people around which is why I have no friends. I have no friends because I was bullied so much, I cannot push people around if I barely speak to anyone as I am scared. My mum said that I was abusive because I called her a ‘numpty’ which is a British thing, when she dropped something. It was just a joke, as in oh you silly. She was so mad at me and shouted at me, she did not speak to me for a while after.
I could go on and on about this, but this is how it is in short.
Their presence makes me feel awful, this house makes me feel awful. All of these memories make me feel awful. I try to be motivated, I try to make myself feel better by telling myself that one day it will end.
My parents believe that life is good for me as we are fine financially, we have a roof over our heads. I am grateful for that, but just because people have it worse than me does not mean that my problems are invalid.
When I visit my older siblings I feel much better, I am better with hygiene, I do not wake up feeling really down, I feel better in myself. I do not have to hide who I am, I am not frightened.
I have wanted to cut them off for years, one day I think I need to. They insult me so much, they contradict me if I say they have upset me because everything has to be my fault. My dad said something racist once and I said ‘that is not right’ and they got furious at me saying I made a scene, when I only said it in my normal voice. They started a huge argument about everything, childhood etc. How on earth does this happen? The whole way home I was getting shouted at, it is ridiculous all because I calmly stood up to them.
I cannot deal with them anymore. I cannot live like this anymore with them. After my university course I want to cut them off, once I am financially stable and have an apartment/flat/small house. My siblings respect that, at least I have them. I will never cut my siblings off. But my parents cannot treat me like this forever, they make me so unhappy. They have taken all of my emotions away from me, I wish I could cry but I cannot because I am empty.
I crave affection from others because my parents make me feel worthless. They have ruined my life. I have not loved them for years, I do not feel anything towards them other than hatred.
is it okay to cut people off if they make you miserable and are really not good for your mental health? I know I have 3 years to think about it, but I cannot be happy with them in my life. If I get a partner I know they will end up ruining that for me, they always have a negative thing to say about everyone. My mum really dislikes my sister’s boyfriend, never says a nice word about him.
I want to be happy,more than anything. I am actually going to do the course I want to do because they told me I was not allowed. I want to be me, I want them gone. Forever.
I made a post about my parents last month, but it is long and detailed, so I am just going to quickly mention this.
My parents are emotionally abusive, they are fickle so one moment they are understanding and the next there is a huge argument about a TV show. These arguments never stay on topic either, they end up arguing about things that have happened years ago that cannot be changed.
I cannot remember anything positive about my adolescence, I can just remember getting threatened and chased by them, they have hit me before, making me wear makeup at 11 years old and dress a certain way. They have controlled me for so long. I would lay awake at night wishing I could get taken away, or something would happen to them. That sounds horrible, but it is true. A few months ago I was was so distressed and was telling them about how I need braces for my underbite which I have been bullied for. I can’t walk down the street without a stare or a comment. I was saying ‘I cannot live like this anymore, I cannot do it anymore’ and I thought maybe they would understand. They did not speak to me for a week, they were furious. My mum stormed off and left for an hour or so, my dad said that I push people around which is why I have no friends. I have no friends because I was bullied so much, I cannot push people around if I barely speak to anyone as I am scared. My mum said that I was abusive because I called her a ‘numpty’ which is a British thing, when she dropped something. It was just a joke, as in oh you silly. She was so mad at me and shouted at me, she did not speak to me for a while after.
I could go on and on about this, but this is how it is in short.
Their presence makes me feel awful, this house makes me feel awful. All of these memories make me feel awful. I try to be motivated, I try to make myself feel better by telling myself that one day it will end.
My parents believe that life is good for me as we are fine financially, we have a roof over our heads. I am grateful for that, but just because people have it worse than me does not mean that my problems are invalid.
When I visit my older siblings I feel much better, I am better with hygiene, I do not wake up feeling really down, I feel better in myself. I do not have to hide who I am, I am not frightened.
I have wanted to cut them off for years, one day I think I need to. They insult me so much, they contradict me if I say they have upset me because everything has to be my fault. My dad said something racist once and I said ‘that is not right’ and they got furious at me saying I made a scene, when I only said it in my normal voice. They started a huge argument about everything, childhood etc. How on earth does this happen? The whole way home I was getting shouted at, it is ridiculous all because I calmly stood up to them.
I cannot deal with them anymore. I cannot live like this anymore with them. After my university course I want to cut them off, once I am financially stable and have an apartment/flat/small house. My siblings respect that, at least I have them. I will never cut my siblings off. But my parents cannot treat me like this forever, they make me so unhappy. They have taken all of my emotions away from me, I wish I could cry but I cannot because I am empty.
I crave affection from others because my parents make me feel worthless. They have ruined my life. I have not loved them for years, I do not feel anything towards them other than hatred.
is it okay to cut people off if they make you miserable and are really not good for your mental health? I know I have 3 years to think about it, but I cannot be happy with them in my life. If I get a partner I know they will end up ruining that for me, they always have a negative thing to say about everyone. My mum really dislikes my sister’s boyfriend, never says a nice word about him.
I want to be happy,more than anything. I am actually going to do the course I want to do because they told me I was not allowed. I want to be me, I want them gone. Forever.
