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is it me or them?

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danniegirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 26, 2011
Messages
72
Location
Horsham, West Sussex
so for the last couple of weeks i have been feeling quite low.. i've come off venlafaxine... it was working great but it was causing me to have liver issues, which was confirmed after i aked to have my liver functions tested as i was bruising like an old lady... my periods went all weird... and the liver function blood test revealed that one function wasn't working properly... nothing serious... but still, i'm 20 and shouldn't be having that kind of issue at my age..
for the last week i have felt really lonely, i don't have many friends... well.. i don't really have friends... i had one close friend but she went off to sweden... i have my bf... i live with him and his parents... but last night he said that i have been looking at him like a piece of sh*t and it's really getting to him... i'm not intentionally doing this... and today my grandmother was annoying me on the phone..as she keeps complaining that she can't hear me.. and so i snapped because every time i call thats all it's ever about... about 10 mins after the phone call ended, she phoned me back and said how i have been hostile and rude to my grandfather and if it's not him, i am like it towards her....
I don't know what is going on... i mean... i don't MEAN to be like this... i'm not normally like this... but i'm thinking about how lonely i feel, i feel like a failiure as i haven't been able to get a job in the 2 years i've been looking, i feel like i've been wearing sun glasses for the last 2 weeks, i don't trust anyone to talk to about this either... my cpn has been double checking i still want to be discharged from the cmht in oct when i see my psych next...and i keep saying yes....i think i'm ready..well i thought i was... but then i came off the venlafaxine...and things haven't seemed great since.

i am really really trying to stay stable, i've been going to the gym every day, i've been doing weight watchers and eating healthily... i went for an interview for an apprenticeship yesterday, i have been trying not to self harm.... but i still feel really cruddy... i am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder with bi polar traights.. and all i could think about when in town earlier was to go and jump off of the multi-story carpark... obviously i didn't as i am here typing...

what's going on =/
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 2, 2009
Messages
2,275
Location
SCOTLAND
I think maybe speaking to your cpn about how you are without the venflaxine would be a good idea.
 
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starfish

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2009
Messages
659
Location
country cottage
Hello danniegirl.sounds like your really trying hard to make a go of things, going to the gym etc. have you had the venlafaxine replaced by something?,because you sound quite depressed. maybe a visit to your doctor would be a good idea.also are you sure about giving up the mht? family members can be a little bit ignorant of mental health issues. have you tried sitting them down and explaining how things are for you?:). it might help.x
 
maxitab

maxitab

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 18, 2010
Messages
10,392
Location
In Devon
BPD?
That's what.

I came off venlafaxine. Same dx as you, (BPD, BiP2) same issues with my liver but I had damaged it already from too many OD's.
Can I ask you what you do instead of the SH when you feel awful?
Do you have a particular strategy or do you just do random distraction stuff?
I found things improved vastly for me when I systematised my coping mechanisms ( learned this in DBT) www.dbtselfhelp.com is a useful site which has lots of suggestions. You can also look up the 'sticky' at the start of the SH section which has lots of suggestions for alternatives.
BPD is a roller coaster, moods change often, lots of mixed states........
Hope you find this forum useful, I have.
 
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