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Is it just me?

C

Crispie

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2021
Messages
26
Location
England
Hey everyone,

Not sure if its me or if this happens to everyone, I am finding that seeing my injuries is acting as a trigger to SH. It use to just be when I was overwhelmed during a panic attack but I have been so low and empty recently, my anxiety is causing me to avoid situations which then plays into my depression. When im at home alone and I look at my injuries I get the urge to SH again and normally give into this.

I always wake up thinking today will be the day. It will be the day where I wake from this nightmare, the day I will be "normal", the day I won't have an attack or an episode. Yes some days I get through and I think wow I made it without any major hiccups and without SH and then when im laying in bed I ended up feeling guilty for having a good day like I dont deserve it or if I am having a good day should I even before off work sick.

Im still tinkering with my medication levels and still on wait list for therapy and so I should probably give myself some slack but I just cant. Anyway I have started rambling but just need to write down whats in my head.

Thanks all
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
11,880
Location
England
Hey everyone,

Not sure if its me or if this happens to everyone, I am finding that seeing my injuries is acting as a trigger to SH. It use to just be when I was overwhelmed during a panic attack but I have been so low and empty recently, my anxiety is causing me to avoid situations which then plays into my depression. When im at home alone and I look at my injuries I get the urge to SH again and normally give into this.

I always wake up thinking today will be the day. It will be the day where I wake from this nightmare, the day I will be "normal", the day I won't have an attack or an episode. Yes some days I get through and I think wow I made it without any major hiccups and without SH and then when im laying in bed I ended up feeling guilty for having a good day like I dont deserve it or if I am having a good day should I even before off work sick.

Im still tinkering with my medication levels and still on wait list for therapy and so I should probably give myself some slack but I just cant. Anyway I have started rambling but just need to write down whats in my head.

Thanks all
I'm so sorry Crispie that you are going through this.

One day will be the day, because i think almost all people do stop.

I don't know much about SH, only what i have read on forums, but my instinct is that when you feel in a panic, you need to comfort yourself. Maybe you could visualise a warm light surrounding you, calming you and protecting you in peace. That is what i do when i am unhappy.

Looking at your scars, again maybe you could see that it was a sad time, in the past, and now things will be different. Any emotional pain you feel now, you can do something different that will be healing and comforting, not hurting your skin which you need to protect your body.
 
C

Crispie

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2021
Messages
26
Location
England
Thanks @Tawny for your kind words, today has been fairly calm today but haven't ventured outside and kept myself occupied potting round house. Still trying to get to grips with my condition and without therapy yet this is all still new.
 
LearntheEssentials

LearntheEssentials

Well-known member
Joined
May 22, 2021
Messages
411
Location
Germany
Sounds like you are having a tough time.
Sorry you are going through this. How are you feeling right now?

-LTE
 
C

Crispie

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2021
Messages
26
Location
England
Right now im ok, evenings tend to be ok as im with the wife its kind of my happy place, we watch box sets and forget about the world. Its worse at night when everyone's asleep as I really struggle with falling to sleep thats when the mind goes off. Also during the day being off work at the minute im alone alot of the time, try to keep occupied but can be difficult
 
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