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Is it just me?

babyblue22

babyblue22

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Jan 23, 2019
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276
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Uk
Hello,

7months ago my firstborn son was stillborn at full term. As the birth was so traumatic I have been diagnosed with PTSD alongside pre existing mental health problems.

I know that I’m not actually hearing my baby cry but I honestly believe it’s him. Sometimes I suffer from phantom kicks / movements too. I close my eyes and I’m back in that hospital going through everything all over again. I can’t sleep, eat, I feel like my baby needs me. Please tell me I’m not alone with some of these feelings or symptoms?
 
S

Sugaree

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Feb 21, 2021
Messages
161
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California
I am so sorry you went through such a terrible loss. I cannot imagine your pain. I am a mother and grandmother. I imagine most women would be devastated if they lost a child that way. All your feelings are understandable and I hope you get a little more peace every day.
 
Jolly

Jolly

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Dec 26, 2020
Messages
777
Location
United Kingdom
Such a sad story. Have you thought about grief counselling which might help you. So sad I can’t imagine what you are going through x
 
T

toto

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Dec 4, 2020
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München
I'm sorry. It just has to take time. Then you don't forget, you just get used to the pain ... What the doctors tell about why it is happened?:hug:
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

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Jan 23, 2019
Messages
276
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Uk
Thank you everyone for your kind words.
I had a full placental abruption due to pre eclampsia which cut off his oxygen & blood supply but we got told that he would of just fallen asleep and not felt any pain which is some kind of silver lining
 
T

toto

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Dec 4, 2020
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München
I do not know what to tell you. I'm in a depressed mood and I can hardly help you. What comes to my mind is to try again, unless the doctors say otherwise. I have friends who have adopted a child and are happy.
 
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

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Apr 10, 2020
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My house
I’m sorry for your losses. I know you probably prepared for the baby and have reminders of him all around. I know it’s difficult to move on but items could be triggering some of your emotions. Try to cleanse yourself. And of course prayer (if your religious) can help in times like these.
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

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Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
276
Location
Uk
I do not know what to tell you. I'm in a depressed mood and I can hardly help you. What comes to my mind is to try again, unless the doctors say otherwise. I have friends who have adopted a child and are happy.
we are trying again. But my risk of stillbirth has doubled since having one. We only ever wanted one child ever but I don’t know another way to cope. I have all this love and nowhere to give it xx
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

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Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
276
Location
Uk
I’m sorry for your losses. I know you probably prepared for the baby and have reminders of him all around. I know it’s difficult to move on but items could be triggering some of your emotions. Try to cleanse yourself. And of course prayer (if your religious) can help in times like these.
We pray and light candles for him all the time. We were fully prepared for him. Did a dragon & knight theme for the nursery as he was our little prince. Luckily my mum took all the travel systems etc because I couldn’t bare seeing all of that xx
 
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

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We pray and light candles for him all the time. We were fully prepared for him. Did a dragon & knight theme for the nursery as he was our little prince. Luckily my mum took all the travel systems etc because I couldn’t bare seeing all of that xx
It’s normal what your going through. Grieving is a hard process but there are methods that work.

Shock and Numbness: This phase immediately follows a loss to death. In order to emotionally survive the initial shock of the loss, the grieving person feels numb and shut down.

Yearning and Searching: This phase is characterized by a variety of feelings, including sadness, anger, anxiety, and confusion. The grieving person is experiencing a longing for the deceased person and wanting them to return to fill the emptiness created by their death.

Disorganization and Despair: This phase is marked by initial acceptance of the reality of the loss. The grieving person may experience feelings of apathy, anger, despair, and hopelessness. The person often desires to withdraw and disengage from others and the activities they regularly enjoyed.

Reorganization and Recovery: In the final phase, the grieving person begins to return to a new state of "normal." Intense feelings such as sadness, anger, and despair begin to diminish as more positive memories of the deceased person increase. The person may experience regular energy levels and weight will stabilize (if it fluctuated during other phases).


Just remember you have to give yourself time to heal. And grief is different for each individual. I’m sure your not the only one in your family feeling the loss. Share your feelings together get thru it together as a family.
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

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Jan 23, 2019
Messages
276
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Uk
I feel all of those things all at once, except the last one...
Thank you so much for that message, really sweet & useful xx
 
T

toto

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Dec 4, 2020
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:hug:When I was pregnant, I forbade everyone to tell me bad things. I didn't find out about anything, I tried to be in a good mood. I was careful, I didn't lift heavy. At the same time, I was on the move, but I didn't get tired. As far as I know, it was important for your condition to follow a diet and not gain a lot of weight? I wish you luck!
 
Zero One

Zero One

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May 19, 2020
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3,729
Location
United States
My trauma are different but they sometimes.come back the same...like in the moment reality. Sorry to hear about your loss.
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
276
Location
Uk
Thanks everyone.
All losses are completely different because every person is different but it’s nice to know people feel the same way xx
 
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