Is it just easier to ignore?.

Hellakat

Hellakat

Active member
Joined
Mar 10, 2019
Messages
28
Location
New York
#1
After my divorce I moved back home with family. A few years later they moved away to another state and I stayed on with the house but needed a roommate to help pay the bills. I agreed to let an old high school friend move in what could be easier, he’s someone I already know. He knows about my mental illnesses he has a good job, I can’t lose, WRONG!. It’s been a year and in that year I had to teach him how to clean ( my OCD is intense when it comes to cleaning). I had to constantly remind him which day is garbage day and which day is recycling day. I even had to show him how to properly wash dishes because I caught him multiple times only washing the inside of a dish and not the outside. I can go on and on about things that a 45 year old male should know how to do. I have a 22 year old son who knew how to do all of these things at the age of eight. We would argue a lot because he acted like he couldn’t do the simplest things and I refuse to clean up after a grown man especially when he’s not mine. So because it was getting bad to the point that my anxiety level was always at a 10, I was angry all the time dealing with him that I decided enough was enough and I just kept my distance and what do you know, I felt less anxious and definitely less angry because I’m not an angry person and I don’t like that feeling.
It’s been about 2 months and besides the occasional dish in the sink and a few other small things that he still doesn’t know how to do or forgets things are sort of leveling out. Well I came down to the kitchen for a snack and what do I see, not only a plate in the dry board it was dirty. REALLY!!! I called him in the kitchen and pointed it out to him and what does he do, blatantly lie to my face and say that he didn’t use the plate mind you before he came home I washed and dried the few dishes we had and put everything away. So I said to him okay so the plate grew feet and walked into the dry board and of course he maintained his lie. *Side Note* He is a pathological liar but that’s another story for another day anyways here I am once again losing it because like I told him, I raised my kid already and I don’t have the time to raise a grown man. I even washed the damn plate for him so I could get away from him. The fact that he insults me by lying to my face is what really burns me. Not to mention I don’t recall me telling him that maid service was included in our living arrangement. I know I’m not over reacting trust me but I don’t know what more I can do. How hard can it be to clean up after yourself especially when you share space with someone else?. It seems like just when I was going to start to re-establish our frienship this happens. Any ideas are more than welcomed. I feel like I’m going of the rails🤯.
 
Hellakat

Hellakat

Active member
Joined
Mar 10, 2019
Messages
28
Location
New York
#3
I have a 22 year old son but he lives with his dad so it’s just me and my roommate in the home. Another thing to add, he tries to bs me by saying “ I know how you are I’m sorry”. That pisses me off even more because if he was really sorry I would think that at almost a year later I wouldn’t still be dealing with the situation. I’m more of a show me better than you can tell me type person. From the looks of things after all this time, I really don’t think I’m going to see it😐.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
534
Location
Milky Way
#5
He should not be lying to you, personally that's where I'd draw the line :hug:
 
Hellakat

Hellakat

Active member
Joined
Mar 10, 2019
Messages
28
Location
New York
#6
I totally agree with you and that’s why I’m just going to keep it on a roommate level only. I’m not going to re-establish the friendship on any level because the fact of him being a habitual liar and not even showing respect for out living arrangement shows me the true him. It’s not even worth it. Thanks for your feedback, it helped.