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Is it just a way of disposing of us?

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eternaljourney

Guest
Does anyone diagnosed with a personality disorder feel disposed of?
I've read my assessment. They might as well have grabbed my life (memories, feelings, knowledge etc.)crumpled it all up in front of my face thrown it in the bin and said, 'That's where you belong!'
 
dib4uk

dib4uk

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south london,england
eternaljourney- sorry to hear of your recent experience with being diagnosed with a personality disorder. What I've said to others in my support group that i attend is that we're not our diagnoses, its just part of us and not all of us.


I know how hard it is to run away from the past when the future demands so much of our time.
 
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eternaljourney

Guest
Thanks Dib4uk,
I can't live with it, I have symptoms of bipolar II more but both me and my partner can't get anyone to listen.
The fact that having looked into local opinion and support has come up as really nasty opinion and no support is crippling.
I have suffered with anxiety and depression since my teens and every doctor I have ever seen has said I do. Now it's not mentioned, my insomnia isn't mentioned and that can reach 80 odd hours solid with just a few hours and then all over again. They've said medication is ineffective which isn't true, I need some help with sleep even if it can only be occasionally, I need tablets for depression but...I'm too upset.
I can't live like this
 
iffybob

iffybob

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England
Same old....

I have the same problems ...

.... officialy the meds dont work for a lot of the PDs ..

the only things I know we are supposed to get are ..... sleeper and antidepresents ... and that when "we realy need them" ... so were not supposed to get them all the time ...

... there is no real long term fix .. so why bother ,... the only thing that helps is regular theropy , but there are waiting list and its not considered that were going any where so no rush there ....

the attitude of some staff including MH is to dismiss anything some one with PD says .. and then make up or tag onto a conventient reson why they should not do anything ...

... and yes once you get some PD diagnosis's then your life is in the crapper, as I found out over a decade ago...
 
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eternaljourney

Guest
So your answer is yes! Well thanks for the support, are you here for support yourself...!? Have to remember to give you the same hope sometime!

Well if they want to label me with a condition that some women diagnosed with hurt children and I'm supposed to be violent when I'm not and never have been.
Or the fact that I've been described as having great interpersonal skills many times ober the years but I'm passionate and let people know if they piss me off- like the nhs...
Then yes we are being disposed of and as I've got nothing to lose because I'm as good as shit...I'm going to start disposing one by one of the people who placed me conveniently here where they think they've taken my life away!!!
 
iffybob

iffybob

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You get the same deal as I do .....

... if you pritty much behave yourself , they dont section you or lock you in prison,.. the ESA etc leave you alone .. and you time is pritty much your own ... but dont expect a great deal of help from the pysch services unless you need your meds changing or crisis intervention , ....


You go after a vendeter and they will just lock you up few questions asked ...


If you have children , unless they have "evidence" that you are a danger to them , they have no grounds to be involved ... many people who have PD are perfectly safe around children .. me included .. and are usualy more over protective of them ....


... try not to read the head lines around your diagnosis , all PDs are individuals ... you are you ... not what the papers say ...
 
iffybob

iffybob

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added ......

Sorry I know it does not look good ... and reading it all back , it looks bleek ...

If you need meds for sleeping and Anti-depresents ... go see you GP .. they should be able to perscrib them to you ....

... I have a history of ODs on meds .. so they wont give me a lot of them anymore .. thats my own fault ....
 
W

Watercolours

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Joined
Feb 20, 2010
Messages
66
I was DX with BPD via the NHS although initially I always assumed I was Bipolar, but they refused to agreed, although admittedly my symptoms do match those of BPD.

I take regular meds now an Antidepressant, a mood stabiliser for almost 12 months, plus I’ve just started an additional mood stabiliser as well. I also use Diazepam as and when needed. I was using Promazine for sleep but recently switched to the new mood stabiliser at night for sleep as Promazine started to have less affect.

The NHS would not give me mood stabilisers so I went to a private psych that I see regular and it’s only by seeing her that I’ve made progress with my BPD and begun to get better over the past 12 months...

The NHS poorly still treat people with BPD and write us off... they need to make a lot of vast improvements still... I begged them for mood stabilisers for around two years because of my mood swings but they would not give them to me, which is why I went private...
 
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eternaljourney

Guest
I don't think someone should been forced to go private, it's not an option for most people. It should be a recognised condition with a proper course of help.

I think the diagnoses is as good as a criminal record, anyone like new employers, adoption agencies...just anyone who needs to know that information will see the diagnoses and presume... presume all sorts. If anyone has a criminal record that's a different story because the circumstances can be discussed.

I don't drink, I don't take drugs, I've never been arrested or done anything criminal. I'm not violent and I treat people well. No-one will ask questions they will presume and they WILL presume the worst.

I have few friends because I suffer with deep depressions when I'm dragging myself around at home in a black haze and uncomfortable anxiety both preventing me from socialising. Sometimes people just sniff the words mental health and disappear and that hurts especailly when it's happened so many times. So I am with good reason frightened to develop new friendships...I don't want to lose people.

I was unable to have children but have really strong bonds with the children of family and friends. The option to adopt is difficult for someone with a record of mental health anyway especailly if self harm is involved and I have self harmed, but the diagnoses of this condition is damning, I can't even consider working with children now. Artificial insemanation is not an option because we are both physically and irraversibly incapable of having children.

I'm not critisizing anyone else with a Borderline but I don't fit the description even in the milder sense. I don't think anyone should accept this diagnoses because it's a clear washing of hands and strangely comes often after a person has tried to stand up for themselves because of evident poor treatment at the hands of medical staff.

I have been recently very...firy. I had a major operation with little emotional support from any nhs service and I was absolutely heartbroken to have had the operation.
I had a complete breakdown during which I had very clear flashbacks of abuse I suffered at the hands of a so called family friend. I went to the police and made a video statement, the support with this is lacking too, emotional support is thin in GREAT BRITAIN for anything. 'Don't talk or show emtion, we are BRITISH!' Just look at the monarchy, they behave like robots in public (Harry is cool though).
So I have been feeling natural anger and expressed it with words and words on paper, all clear.
I have had frustrating responses of dismissal and lies too.
People have communicated with people they shouldn't and treatment has got poorer and poorer until I have been diagnosed with a condition that no-one has ever even hinted at before now.

I have a partner and we have a very loving and special relationship that has lasted for nearly a decade and will last forever. I have strong bonds within my close family which will never stop either.
I have friends from the past (with a misunderstanding of my mental health) contact me often. I'm passed messages on from people that they miss me.

I become depressed and I am low and lifeless and feeling despair. I stop eating, lose weight, cry, feel heavy and can't carry myself...

I feel alive at the other end of the scale, I laugh and joke and do impressions of people, I talk and talk and talk. I'm friendly and full of energy. I don't sleep for days on end, I don't need it. I exercise (excessively), walking and walking and lifting weights and stomach crunches, chinup bar, just constant mobement. I get frustrated that people are moving too slow and as sleeplessness starts to make me feel physically exhausted I get snappy at times. Then back to the depression.
There are more symtoms indicating bipoler II.

My family have either all worked or still do (in cluding myself) in the medical proffession. They are aware of the symptoms of both conditions and are now going to get fully involved and legally if necessary... will all be diagnosed with BPD I wonder???
 
iffybob

iffybob

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It is quite possible that you could get your diagnosis changed .. and if you feel that you are wrongly diagnosed then go for it....

.. I know what the stigma of having the PD lable of any type is like and even the medical docs are as guilty as any of treating the lable and not the person, and MH staff can be the worst .. smart mouthed and arogant....
 
iffybob

iffybob

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I always like mine sever/seriouse personality disorder .... :innocent:
 
M

mad as a hatter

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i,ve got a dignosois off bipolor and borderline and 2 be honest the mh services now treat me like a attention seeker i feel never be treated like a patient with bipolor they always c the borderline 1st so even if u get a dignosois off bipolor ain,t goin mk ne odds there alway,s goin c the pd 1st that,s how it is for me ne way it sucks
 
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eternaljourney

Guest
Personality Disorder is the one that you get hated for. There's no specific treatment psychological or with medication. They have meds and treatment for anything else, I know the treatment can be poor for everyone but at least they recognise that your ill and not just a monster.

'Famous people with Borderline Personality Disorder...(f***kin') HITLER!!!'

I've been diagnosed this by a psychiatrist who I'd never met before and haven't been given further appointments with because I've been told I don't fit the category for psychiatric care. I really struggled to get the appointment because only 12 months before a psychiatrist that I had never met and haven't seen again diagnosed mild depression. I was wasting away... and blah blah blah but had improved by the time I saw her.
One year later...complaints, upset, different doctors surgery etc. and I'm f***kin HITLER!!!

If they actually read my file dating back to about '92 they'd know what's actually been happening all these years. Information is shared when they want to beat you down but not when it could actually be helpful.
 
iffybob

iffybob

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Yep ... there wa supposed to be somthing where we were given maintaince and support ... its a bit of a joke .. the profs dont want to know .. as they dont expect progressive outcomes , and they cant just change are meds to shut us up.. they dont want to know ... so we are left most of the time to cpns... arrogent is not a strong enough word ...
 
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