is having a favourite person unhealthy

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Flameheart (was BPDevil)

Flameheart (was BPDevil)

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#61
I've given up on other friendships because of my BPD, but also because of the lack of understanding from other people, I've been called all sorts because I ended up having an episode or getting paranoid and questioning people on why they weren't bothering to invite me out with them anymore, apparently confronting others and asking if you still mean something to them is wrong, and people really like to think the worst of you when you reveal any insecurity
 
Flameheart (was BPDevil)

Flameheart (was BPDevil)

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#63
i don't have a favourite person. As soon as anyone finds out my disagnosises they run a mile to get away from me.
I hope you find someone that is willing to understand you, i got very lucky with my fp as he studied different mental illnesses and bpd shortly before he met me, even though we have our ups and downs and I split a lot on him he gets it, whereas others wouldn't and probably just label me a toxic person
 
Flameheart (was BPDevil)

Flameheart (was BPDevil)

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#67
i think most of the core symptoms is to do with negative self image

my fp asks why i hate myself to the extent i do and most times i dont know

if i could just love myself then i dont think i would have been diagnosed with this in the first place
 
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EstherRose94

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#68
It’s a slow, frustrating journey but you can get there. You have to get to know yourself like you would get to know a friend. Little by little
 
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Girl interupted

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#69
Interesting you say that Esther. I took mindful self compassion classes and the key message was “you know how you react and respond to a friend who is struggling? You need to talk to yourself that same way.”

That concept was so foreign to me that I immediately burst into tears for the remainder of the class.
 
Flameheart (was BPDevil)

Flameheart (was BPDevil)

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#70
its weird being told to like yourself when you been bought up not to
 
Heidrun

Heidrun

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#71
Yeah I’m really craving extreme loyalty from someone but it’s probably more than I could give in return. It’s like..do I deserve to have that from someone or is that not realistic? I feel like we should make our own utopia lol.
Exactly. Well it's different with all people I guess. What do you expect?
 
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EstherRose94

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#72
Interesting you say that Esther. I took mindful self compassion classes and the key message was “you know how you react and respond to a friend who is struggling? You need to talk to yourself that same way.”

That concept was so foreign to me that I immediately burst into tears for the remainder of the class.
Right. I tend to always see the best in other people but I’m super strict and self-disciplined with myself. I’ve largely switched over to being kind to myself and it’s a great shift. Now I have to find the right balance so I can still be productive haha.
 
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Girl interupted

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#73
I’m really pleased you are transitioning to that Esther. I really think that’s half the battle to the road to wellness.
 
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EstherRose94

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#74
Exactly. Well it's different with all people I guess. What do you expect?
Yeah I guess that’s true. To be honest I really do expect that extreme loyalty that probably isn’t humanly possible. My parents coddled me quite a bit. Even now I know that they will take my side no matter what. It’s awesome but I don’t know how to face criticism very well as a result and I’m very very sensitive.
 
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EstherRose94

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#75
I’m really pleased you are transitioning to that Esther. I really think that’s half the battle to the road to wellness.
Thank you! It’s scary in the meantime though because you have to see yourself as vulnerable/ weak. It often feels like I’m going backwards rather than forwards.
 
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Girl interupted

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#76
Have you read or tried soothing touch? I find the cradling my face with both hands the most comforting.

Sorry bpdevil, don’t mean to derail your thread.
 
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TheBoyWithAWanderingMind

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#78
As someone who has consistently had an FP all throughout adulthood, I would definitely say it's a negative thing. Within the BPD category, the concept of an FP is where all - or most - of one's dependance and validation is centered on one person. This is both mentally and emotionally unhealthy as this person ultimately has the power to make or break your day. As I previously mentioned, I've had several FPs (always a friend or partner, of course) throughout my later teen years and adulthood and for me, it's very stressful because I know how easily my emotions will be rattled if my feelings or expectations aren't met or reciprocated.
 
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EstherRose94

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#79
Yeah I def need to make my bf not be my fp but idk how at this point.
 
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EstherRose94

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#80
It makes me resent him for tiny things you know? And I’m constantly stressed as heck
 

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