frisas45
Well-known member
Is it? I wish to know.
As some of you heard about me, I live with my parents to survive. There were times when my mother was schizophrenic, and I had to caregive her to get a roof over my head and have food in my stomach. The doctors demanded her to be hospitalized; but I had no money. We were so destitute that we had to sell everything to survive. I mean, we couldn't afford shit back in US, at least the doctors in South Korea are more affordable. That's why we flew over here. To survive. I had to search meticulously for a renowned hospital to get the help she needs.
The stress I had to endure and struggling with my bipolar disorder is unbearable. There are times I nearly had a mental breakdown!
People around me think I'm lucky or some shit. That I have my parents pay me for my living expenses in my college years. I thought this too, and tried to take advantage of this shit. But my parents became difficult and these problems forced me to move from country to country, delaying my chance for graduation. All these could've been avoided if I just got off my ass and became independent at 25. Yeah, I might face some financial troubles. But in the end, I would've succeeded. Instead, I became a dumb-ass and listened everything they told me to believe.
Do you even realize how difficult it is to be independent? You're safe with us. You'll not leave until you marry.
They say this. Wait a minute. Do you know how impossible for anyone to marry in this day in age? (Sigh)
I tried defying them. Put some boundaries. But that caused more trouble and conflicts, and my family was almost ruined because of my defiance.
My family and I are sailing in a boat. My defiance is causing holes to form. If I rebel, it will sink.
I need to be believe what they tell me to believe, or else I won't survive. My chances of survival DECREASES if I think for myself. Let alone my sanity draining.
This, and other things that goes in my life, led me to deep depression. There are hobbies, and things I want to do, and I can't do them.
I tried philosophy of all kinds. I tried to live for myself and live for the moment. Nothing works.
And didn't I mention? My parents are right. When I asked Reddit and this forum, people told me that it's hard everywhere. The economy is in the dumps. It's impossible for me to be independent. Not only my paycheck will NOT be enough, I will shiver in the cold and starve to death. The money I get isn't enough. I need my parents to survive because it's all about sharing nowadays. I'm not good enough to get a fucking roommate, so I need them to survive.
But today, I saw Elon Musk telling how difficult starting a company is. There was a time when Musk had to code on his computer the all day and night, seven days a week. Plus, he had to manage is tight budget. He started to describe the difficulty of running a company in details. And I thought, It's not as hard as dealing with my parents...
I'm not gonna start a company. I thought about it, and I can't take any more stresses because of my parents. But if starting a company is less difficult than my parents (although it's impossible to make the company successful), how easier for me to be independent? The pain I go through during the independence process, is much easier to bear than living with my parents or starting a company.
Even if it is harder, that's still a lot better then living with my parents. But is it worth it? Or am I wrong? Do I have to stay with my parents and deteriorate myself?
(And yeah! I'm not gonna move out here in South Korea. Employment is IMPOSSIBLE! But back in US might seem possible...)
As some of you heard about me, I live with my parents to survive. There were times when my mother was schizophrenic, and I had to caregive her to get a roof over my head and have food in my stomach. The doctors demanded her to be hospitalized; but I had no money. We were so destitute that we had to sell everything to survive. I mean, we couldn't afford shit back in US, at least the doctors in South Korea are more affordable. That's why we flew over here. To survive. I had to search meticulously for a renowned hospital to get the help she needs.
The stress I had to endure and struggling with my bipolar disorder is unbearable. There are times I nearly had a mental breakdown!
People around me think I'm lucky or some shit. That I have my parents pay me for my living expenses in my college years. I thought this too, and tried to take advantage of this shit. But my parents became difficult and these problems forced me to move from country to country, delaying my chance for graduation. All these could've been avoided if I just got off my ass and became independent at 25. Yeah, I might face some financial troubles. But in the end, I would've succeeded. Instead, I became a dumb-ass and listened everything they told me to believe.
Do you even realize how difficult it is to be independent? You're safe with us. You'll not leave until you marry.
They say this. Wait a minute. Do you know how impossible for anyone to marry in this day in age? (Sigh)
I tried defying them. Put some boundaries. But that caused more trouble and conflicts, and my family was almost ruined because of my defiance.
My family and I are sailing in a boat. My defiance is causing holes to form. If I rebel, it will sink.
I need to be believe what they tell me to believe, or else I won't survive. My chances of survival DECREASES if I think for myself. Let alone my sanity draining.
This, and other things that goes in my life, led me to deep depression. There are hobbies, and things I want to do, and I can't do them.
I tried philosophy of all kinds. I tried to live for myself and live for the moment. Nothing works.
And didn't I mention? My parents are right. When I asked Reddit and this forum, people told me that it's hard everywhere. The economy is in the dumps. It's impossible for me to be independent. Not only my paycheck will NOT be enough, I will shiver in the cold and starve to death. The money I get isn't enough. I need my parents to survive because it's all about sharing nowadays. I'm not good enough to get a fucking roommate, so I need them to survive.
But today, I saw Elon Musk telling how difficult starting a company is. There was a time when Musk had to code on his computer the all day and night, seven days a week. Plus, he had to manage is tight budget. He started to describe the difficulty of running a company in details. And I thought, It's not as hard as dealing with my parents...
I'm not gonna start a company. I thought about it, and I can't take any more stresses because of my parents. But if starting a company is less difficult than my parents (although it's impossible to make the company successful), how easier for me to be independent? The pain I go through during the independence process, is much easier to bear than living with my parents or starting a company.
Even if it is harder, that's still a lot better then living with my parents. But is it worth it? Or am I wrong? Do I have to stay with my parents and deteriorate myself?
(And yeah! I'm not gonna move out here in South Korea. Employment is IMPOSSIBLE! But back in US might seem possible...)
