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Is finding a gentle spouse a good sign of a great marriage?

frisas45

frisas45

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In the future, I'm considering to date/marry a gentle spouse. I know very well that I have to do my part to keep the relationship afloat. I have to find a gentle person to date and marry. Someone isn't a hot-head. Because hot-heads cause nasty arguments. And I get angry if someone get pissed at me and be very demanding.

For more details of what I want from a girl here's link: (https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/threads/i-dont-know-if-this-expectation-is-healthy-or-not.225042/#post-1845347)

I know that there's more required for relationships to work (such as my spouse is capable of keeping marriage working and me being required to do my part), but is finding a gentle person one of the good starting points for the relationships to work?
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Ah yes, a good dream. Gentle can be very soothing, but not for everyone. Me I like fire - I can mould it, shape it how I wish.
 
I

iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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Be careful for women who want a loaded man. Get with a good woman who wants you for you. Don't get married either unless you know she's the right one. You don't wanna be paying alimony checks for the rest of your life. I'm a woman by the way and I think alimony should only be paid to an ex spouce only if the spouce was abused, man or woman. I know this poor disabled man who is a retired veteran who is forced to pay most of his money out to his able bodied wife. Not fair!
 
I

iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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Besides I think marriage is romanticized too much. Why not just live together as b.f. and g.f.?

But I'm glad men are now receiving child support for his kids and alimony for himself. But still it goes to the woman a lot.
 
BetaMale

BetaMale

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I don't intend to marry but my idea of an ideal wife used to be a beautiful and gentle Asian woman.
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Yes, I think gentleness is one good quality to have in a spouse or relationship, as it indicates a compassion or a good temperament in the person. It makes communication a bit smoother too, as there's no harshness of voice which, for me, can be a bit confusing sending me funny mixed messages.

If gentleness is something you like in a person, then, by all means, include it in your list of things you would like in a spouse. Nothing wrong with that
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

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I`m single.

But I`m curious as to why , particularly, an Asian woman ?

I know with the culture women are , for the most part, seen as second hand citizens and subservient to men and , is that why you would chose an Asian woman?

Isn`t more to do with the fact you can`t handle someone who would call you out on your behaviour and be angry at you if you did something wrong, or someone who would be a doormat for you???

Women are complex creatures, as men are, you can have expectations, so can a woman, you can seek qualities out in a woman , as can a man.

First and foremost, you need to be realistic and understand things have moved on and women like to have more a say in their lives and careers, love-life, etc etc.
 
BetaMale

BetaMale

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I`m single.

But I`m curious as to why , particularly, an Asian woman ?

I know with the culture women are , for the most part, seen as second hand citizens and subservient to men and , is that why you would chose an Asian woman?

Isn`t more to do with the fact you can`t handle someone who would call you out on your behaviour and be angry at you if you did something wrong, or someone who would be a doormat for you???

Women are complex creatures, as men are, you can have expectations, so can a woman, you can seek qualities out in a woman , as can a man.

First and foremost, you need to be realistic and understand things have moved on and women like to have more a say in their lives and careers, love-life, etc etc.
No, I just find Asian girls more physically attractive.
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

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No, I just find Asian girls more physically attractive.
Okay, that`s fair enough, you are allowed to have attractions to certain types that float your boat.
I was curious, hence me asking.
 
fazza

fazza

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I don't think it matters either way. You can fall in love with a hot head just as much as you can and mellow head. Love is love. I think if you narrow down your options and say "I am only goi g to look for a gentle woman" then you limit the possibilities of finding love full stop.
Hot heads are loving, fun and spontaneous and will be just as devoted to you as a gentle woman.

Being a hot head does not define a woman. If you find yourself in a bad argument with your partner than this is due to either one of you being bad at communicating. However a violent woman towards you because of an argument should be ended as there is never an excuse for violence.
Even gentle souls can have a vicious temper.

Keep your options open. Love can be a strange thing and you never know when it will come your way
 
frisas45

frisas45

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Yes, I think gentleness is one good quality to have in a spouse or relationship, as it indicates a compassion or a good temperament in the person. It makes communication a bit smoother too, as there's no harshness of voice which, for me, can be a bit confusing sending me funny mixed messages.

If gentleness is something you like in a person, then, by all means, include it in your list of things you would like in a spouse. Nothing wrong with that
Thank you.
 
frisas45

frisas45

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Yeah, gentle people can can get angry. I experienced that. But they proved to be better than hot-heads still...
Although gentle person can get angry, they're less frequent then hot-heads. I care about frequency, although I don't the mellow-head to be violent. It's because I hang around with people who are both vicious tempered and does that frequently.
 
I

iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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I don't intend to marry but my idea of an ideal wife used to be a beautiful and gentle Asian woman.
Smart man. Don't marry a woman. I warn men not to marry women all the time. I'm trying to talk my nephew out of marrying his girl friend. I hope they just stay together not married.
 
I

iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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Never marry a gold digger gentlemen!
 
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