D
doxa
New member
greetings out there in cyberspace.
i have a pressing question that i don't know who to ask. perhaps i can ask anyone who feels inclined to answer. i've had recurring depressive episodes since late adolescence (i'm now 32 yrs old). the past one occurred 14 months after the birth of my first (wonderful!!) child and put me into the hospital for five weeks and included a round of ECT. it was a very scary time for my family in particular. i'm on the mend with God's help but still experiencing mild depressive symptoms. my psychiatrist has stated that my "major depressive illness" is "endogenous in nature" and that i will probably have to "manage" it for the rest of my life. i absolutely love children and i've been told i'm a good mother, but it's true that i've never had a truly stable time lasting longer than six months. i am being discouraged to have more children due to the nature of my depression, the instability it inevitably brings with it, etc.
my question is, from the wealth of experience represented here on this website: is it best to refrain from having more children, given not only my own depression but also the strong genetic factors that run in my family? (my mother, aunt, sister, brother all have depression, and my father paranoid schizophrenia. nasty gene pool, indeed. on bad days, i remind myself that i'm doing quite well in light of the statistics...) if anyone has grown up with a depressed parent--what do you think? how badly will these recurring episodes--even if mild or moderate, not requiring hospitalization--affect my children? will i hurt them inadvertently with my instability, even though my love for them is so wide and deep and strong? please don't say, "if you really want more, don't let anyone tell you what to do." i think it's wise to listen to the voices around me, i just want to be sure that those voices aren't speaking from their own personal fears. i'm ready to face some hardship, but i don't know if others are or if it's even ethical to submit more children to (loving) instability. any input very, very welcome. thank you, friends.
i have a pressing question that i don't know who to ask. perhaps i can ask anyone who feels inclined to answer. i've had recurring depressive episodes since late adolescence (i'm now 32 yrs old). the past one occurred 14 months after the birth of my first (wonderful!!) child and put me into the hospital for five weeks and included a round of ECT. it was a very scary time for my family in particular. i'm on the mend with God's help but still experiencing mild depressive symptoms. my psychiatrist has stated that my "major depressive illness" is "endogenous in nature" and that i will probably have to "manage" it for the rest of my life. i absolutely love children and i've been told i'm a good mother, but it's true that i've never had a truly stable time lasting longer than six months. i am being discouraged to have more children due to the nature of my depression, the instability it inevitably brings with it, etc.
my question is, from the wealth of experience represented here on this website: is it best to refrain from having more children, given not only my own depression but also the strong genetic factors that run in my family? (my mother, aunt, sister, brother all have depression, and my father paranoid schizophrenia. nasty gene pool, indeed. on bad days, i remind myself that i'm doing quite well in light of the statistics...) if anyone has grown up with a depressed parent--what do you think? how badly will these recurring episodes--even if mild or moderate, not requiring hospitalization--affect my children? will i hurt them inadvertently with my instability, even though my love for them is so wide and deep and strong? please don't say, "if you really want more, don't let anyone tell you what to do." i think it's wise to listen to the voices around me, i just want to be sure that those voices aren't speaking from their own personal fears. i'm ready to face some hardship, but i don't know if others are or if it's even ethical to submit more children to (loving) instability. any input very, very welcome. thank you, friends.
