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Irrational gear of death and losing loved ones

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OntheBorderline

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 21, 2021
Messages
94
Location
WV USA
This fear is taking over my life. I have lost many loved ones and family members recently so that is what started my fear. I now have an overwhelming fear of my father and grandfather dying to the point that when I am away from them I worry that something will happen to them. It is causing me not to focus on what I'm doing throughout the day, and I can't enjoy myself. Also when they are sleeping I am constantly checking toake sure they are still breathing. I also have a bit lesser (but still over whelming) fear of myself dying either of some sort of illness or most often a car accident. This has gotten to the point where I get scared Everytime I get into a car to go somewhere, I also become a bit of a back seat driver telling the drivers to be careful, or getting on to them for not having both hands on the wheel ect. I also have a fear of losing loved ones in a car crash so when they go on trips I am scared to death. I also find myself obsessively wondering how and when I or my loved ones would die, and which would be the easiest to deal with. This has really taken over my life.
 
A

Anxietyhell

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
388
Of course its perfectly normal and natural to fear losing loved ones everyone does .. But when it takes over your life to the extend it sounds as if it is yours- then I think you may need some help...Can you speak to your doctor, seek some counselling etc?.. When all the thoughts and fears become a constant intrusion then it can be hard to break...
 
SoftRain

SoftRain

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2016
Messages
3,432
Location
sillyville, USA
This fear is taking over my life. I have lost many loved ones and family members recently so that is what started my fear. I now have an overwhelming fear of my father and grandfather dying to the point that when I am away from them I worry that something will happen to them. It is causing me not to focus on what I'm doing throughout the day, and I can't enjoy myself. Also when they are sleeping I am constantly checking toake sure they are still breathing. I also have a bit lesser (but still over whelming) fear of myself dying either of some sort of illness or most often a car accident. This has gotten to the point where I get scared Everytime I get into a car to go somewhere, I also become a bit of a back seat driver telling the drivers to be careful, or getting on to them for not having both hands on the wheel ect. I also have a fear of losing loved ones in a car crash so when they go on trips I am scared to death. I also find myself obsessively wondering how and when I or my loved ones would die, and which would be the easiest to deal with. This has really taken over my life.
I can relate to the fear of driving. I have to FORCE myself to drive every time I do and its not often..I have fears of a car wreck. It all stems from a near crash that happened on icy road two winters ago. I also fear my husband driving to work. We cant stop these things so I dont know why we worry so. Its like if we worry enough we think we can stop it from happening. My husband is 13 years older then me so I check him sometimes to see if he is breathing at night.
Hope it gets better for you! I try my best to find things to focus on. And one is coming to this forum to talk with friends.
 
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Anxietyhell

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
388
When I was married my husband always travelled a lot, he was often flying off somewhere or driving long distances at times.. I often feared something would happen to him.. I would ask him to let me know he got sonewhere safely... Actually!! Until this subject came up, I had almost forgotten how much it affected me... It didnt take over my life, but it was always there
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
638
Of course its perfectly normal and natural to fear losing loved ones everyone does .. But when it takes over your life to the extend it sounds as if it is yours- then I think you may need some help...Can you speak to your doctor, seek some counselling etc?.. When all the thoughts and fears become a constant intrusion then it can be hard to break...
I unfortunately didn't quite realise I had such an extreme fear of my parents and cats dying until it had become so ingrained in me over so many decades that I just live in constant fear now.

It's terrible, honestly.
 
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Anxietyhell

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
388
I unfortunately didn't quite realise I had such an extreme fear of my parents and cats dying until it had become so ingrained in me over so many decades that I just live in constant fear now.

It's terrible, honestly.
I don't disbelieve you!! It's incredibly difficult and hard to come to terms which such things.. They never really go away, we just have to somehow manage the thoughts and fears..
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
638
I don't disbelieve you!! It's incredibly difficult and hard to come to terms which such things.. They never really go away, we just have to somehow manage the thoughts and fears..
I knooow! But how!? Hoooow!? I can't! lol
 
A

Anxietyhell

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
388
If I knew and had all the answers I would apply them to myself... I honesty do not know how or why I am still here sometimes.. It becomes a relief just to be able to go to sleep and shut everything out for a while... Then the next day it can feel like back on the treadmill again
 

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