I'm scared I got a girl pregnant. I hung out with this girl in January, we went out and drank then we were going to go our own way but before we wemt our separate ways she invited me into her car to talk a while longer and long story short we began to mess around a bit. She began to give me oral then after that I went down on her while stroking my penis which was full of her saliva then she asked me to finger her and I paused for a second and said okay. But I began to panic and stall as I said to myself in my head "are you really going to finger her with the same hand you were stroking your penis with!? It's full of her saliva mixed with precum, it's all over your hand" so I got up and wiped my hand on my shirt then opened her car door and slid my hand across her car roof since it had been raining I used the water on her car roof to further clean my hand and get rid of the saliva mixed with precum. I then wiped it again than began to finger her. After that I wasn't really in the mood to do anything else and we didn't have sex at all. I went home and so did she. But as time passed on I began to worry and thought about what if she got pregant from me fingering her!? I know I wiped my hands twice and even cleaned it off with water. But what if some of that precum mixed with saliva stayed between my fingers and I didnt wipe that off? After that I began to get scared and depressed I couldn't go to work and I couldn't do anything in peace until one day when I decided to text her and ask her. She told me that she was good and reassured me she was not pregnant but that didnt really satisfy me. I wanted to be for sure for sure so I askes her to hang out again, so we did I wanted to see if she would drink with me again at that point id be able to see if she was or not. So I picked her up and we started talking and I asked her if she wanted to drink and she told me no, I asked her why and she began to tell me how last week she got Extreamly drunk and sniffed some coke with her friends then the next day she had a bad hangover and got extreamly sick. I began to get scared and thought what if she is pregnant and she was feeling morning sickness. We continued talking and I told her about how worried I was and that I have a phobia of getting a girl pregnant she than laughed and said you're fine! I'm not pregnant I don't want your kid. I have too much going on for me right now I don't need a kid. Nor do I want one. If I ever do get pregnant I want it to be with someone I'm going to be with for the rest of my life not some guy ive only met twice. I felt better after that then dropped her off and went home and I was satisfied but only for a while. I needed to see her drink in order to be sure! So here I go again I asked her to hang out and she said yes. I picked her up and we went out to have drinks the first drink we ordered was taking forever to come so she got up and said she was going to the bathroom she then left and my mind started thinking what if she went up to the bartender and asked him to make her drink nonalcoholic? She then came back and our drinks arrived we began to drink them and I finished mine pretty fast but she was taking her time before she finished it I asked her to let me have a sip in my mind I was trying to see if it had alcohol. And it tasked like it did. Before we left we got a last drink and drank it fast between the both of us But I felt like she wasn't really trying to drink it and this thought stayed in my mind. I dropped her off and went home. I was still unsatisfied the irrational thought of her getting up to ask the battened to make her drink non alcoholic along with the thought of how she seemed like she didn't really want to drink lingered in my head. So here I go again long story short I bought a bottle and we drank the whole thing. I was so happy and felt at peace so I began to tell her a story about some girl who was pregant and was drinking but she didnt care because she was going to have an abortion. She than stopped me and told me her mom was pregant and was drinking. My whole happiness went down the drain at that moment and I began to think what if you're doing the same thing? I took her home and felt the same way once again. A few weeks later we drank again and I still felt the same way and a few days later I see her upload a video of her donating blood. hallelujah!!! I said, you see women aren't eligible to donate blood. I then thought there is no way she can be pregnant then! I was so happy! And overwhelmed with joy! And as the days passed I continued to be happy until I went to the DMV to register my car and while I was there I saw a pregnant couple she must have been around 8 months or so. But just the sight of a pregnant woman was enough to send me back into my thoughts after that I went home and began to feel the same way again. Just because I saw some random pregnant woman. I'm wrong I know! I dont know why I'm like this! I hate myself for it! I cant be at peace! I don't understand why!? I hate it so much! This has taken up almost 4 months of my life! In sorry if my story is anoyying and I can't get a grip of myself or things and im extreamly irrational. But if you read this up until now thank you so much for your time.