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Irrational fear of sudden death.

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LeBlan23

Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2020
Messages
6
Location
California
Hey guys, so i've been suffering from hypochondria and panic disorder for the past 2.5 years. At first i was convinced i had colon cancer then after getting a colonoscopy at age 19! ( I know it's crazy but i had to do it otherwise i'd go nuts) then i thought i had pancreatic cancer, then brain tumor and then multiple other diseases. I have to mention that Dr Google was to blame for all these crazy fears. For the past year i've been suffering from palpitations. Sometimes i wake up at night drenched in sweat and my heart is literally pounding out of my chest. I monitor my heart rate all the time and that makes things even worse. I've had all tests done and cardiologists diagnosed normal tachycardia induced by anxiety and panic. I've been to multiple doctors this far yet i still cannot be convinced that my heart is healthy. Every time my heart rate speeds up i feel like i'm gonna suffer cardiac arrest. Doctor said there's zero chance for a 21 year old to die because of panic attacks.
Then i made the biggest mistake i started googling about sudden death related to palpitations and ventricular fibrillation popped up which is a rare but 99% fatal type of tachycardia. Ever since i read about it i can't get it off my head. I talked to my cardiologist about it and he laughed he said I was acting all crazy and that it's not possible for a young and healthy heart to suffer ventricular fibrillation. Deep down i know he's right but my stupid phobia cannot go away. I'm scared of panic attacks or any stressful situation that could potentially increase my heartbeat. I'm even scared of working out or walking a flight of stairs. My fear has become so intense that i can't leave the house unless someone is with me. I even thought about purchasing a defibrillator but my doc thinks that this would be a totally unnecessary expense.
Guys i don't know what to do. My cardiophobia or whatever you wish to call it is so intense and crippling. Is there anyone else who has this type of phobia and if so how do you cope?
 
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ShelbyCobra

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2020
Messages
17
Location
Missouri
I have not struggled with this fear but can relate to fear of death...take this for a grain of salt since i am not an expert but seems to me I needed to find something that made my life lived thus far worth something...so I could look back and be satisfied with what I have done given what I had...this makes death not terrifying. for me. also...it is more satisfying to do for others or accomplish by giving rather than conquering or focusing on self preservation...think less of self and more of big picture, others.

hope this helps...? :)
 
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LeBlan23

Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2020
Messages
6
Location
California
I have not struggled with this fear but can relate to fear of death...take this for a grain of salt since i am not an expert but seems to me I needed to find something that made my life lived thus far worth something...so I could look back and be satisfied with what I have done given what I had...this makes death not terrifying. for me. also...it is more satisfying to do for others or accomplish by giving rather than conquering or focusing on self preservation...think less of self and more of big picture, others.

hope this helps...? :)
You're one very lucky person if you've already found something that you consider to be bigger than yourself. I keep contemplating about a greater purpose. Ever since I was a kid I dreamed of doing something that would be of service to millions of people. However, unfortunately i still haven't found what that could be. For instance I've always wanted to be a writer but I am not pretty sure if that could benefit anyone. Anyways i know deep down that unless i beat the panic attacks and the terrible anxiety, i won't be able to commit 100% to any goal.
 
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ShelbyCobra

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2020
Messages
17
Location
Missouri
I understand your dilemma...its one I feel I fight every day. Its not a clear cut answer that cures all...but its a direction forward one step at a time. my "bigger than myself" thing I found is not so big...it is that I want to be the best version of myself I can be so that my daughter and future kids have something to step from when they venture out on their own...and they have an example to follow if they want it...and that is not just for my kids but for everyone who knows me. to be the best I can be.. not for myself ( though it is great benefit to myself) but to give hope to others..life sucks but we can impact it one little step at a time....am I there no. I struggle with petty addictions and depression. I am not where I want to be..but knowing I am trying and one step at a time am improving....that is huge to me. because it is HARD to change. if it wasnt we would all be perfect by now lol.


Writing is a beautiful talent...and very influential and impactful. If you have a way with words and a knack for this I consider you very blessed...this is valuable, something you can do that others cant!
 

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